So this is me, and Tim, we are goofing off in ND In this picture. I think we are at a car show, not sure!
I did say I would post today about Marriage, and when it works! First you have to love each other, for real. None of this “getting a wife” so you can remain an eternal child, or someone to mop up your messes because you are an addict who never plans to change or even get help, when it is offered to you.
You are not getting a wife to be a punching bag, not marrying a guy to be your meal ticket, or just because you’re afraid to be alone, or whatever else.
You don’t have to be a pastor and his wife, for things to work out. Nobody has a perfect marriage, I don’t care what they tell you, I do not believe it! Better, I think to have God in the middle, and to believe in prayer. I believe it increases your chances of making it, but that’s just me. I love Tim. He’s made me mad, made me sad, made me rant and rave, and he once roared away on a motorcycle because I upset him so much.
He once threw the title of our mobile home at me and said “I’d be better off without him.” I”ve called him names, cried, insisted he get up in the night to “Hash it out” with me in our earlier years. I make him breakfast almost every single day, a hot breakfast! He crawls around under the house just because I want a phone installed……..
with spiders……and he works in pain and in hot horrible jobs, to make sure I’m okay. He’s fixed all our vehicles, laying on the pavement in the hot, in the freezing cold, and read manuals for several cars to save us mechanic bills. He installs lights for me, Just because I want a different fixture. He listens to me, he used to hog the remote but not anymore! Have we had fights? Yes we have! Have we wondered sometimes if we made a big mistake? Yes again! But here’s the thing, WE love each other. He told me once “I see myself with you for the rest of my life” He prayed lots of times but in the beginning he prayed “Help us never lose the Joy and wonder of being together.”
I pray for him, all the time. He tells me “you are so good to me” (and really, I am!)
I’m not going to lie and tell you it’s all magical, but I will tell you this. I take marriage vows seriously. I take my promises to my friends seriously, and I most especially take my covenant with God VERY seriously! And, My willingness to Grow and my excitement over growing, and willingness to admit when I’m wrong….all that has helped us both!
Because I was in an abusive marriage for so long, I was a bit messed up. Not all the way messed up but, I was messed up. Our past affects us, whether we like it or not. Most abused people, wind up feeling they have suffered enough and get a big attitude. I had one for awhile “mess with me, you are toast!” ……Not a good thing, not a good attitude if you want to grow. And Because God INTENDED we find the right spouse the first time, starting out in your 40’s is no picnic either!
I don’t believe in one person being always right and the other one is always wrong. Even in my past marriage situation, I made mistakes and with God’s help worked hard to correct ME and I never would have left if it had not been impossible to solve.
So, I do believe in marriage! And there will be ups and downs in all of them!
Communication is huge, Being humble, nobody calling all the shots, and being fair, Just, kind, loving …….OH MY GOSH! I Just realized you have to GROW To have a great marriage! Ain’t that a kick! And He has, and I have (grown, together).
Next March is 15 years together. Love You Tim! We have had so much fun together at times……but we are like that song “we can work it out, we can work it out” ……..(The Beatles) and with God’s help, we always do!
From me, Laura, your loving wife! (Thanks for Marrying me, and being my friend!!)
…….Laura Grace, Author Grace to Grow, Grace to Grow Study Guide, Grace to Soar