I feel led to share this, this morning. A lot of times when kids leave the next (grow up and move away) parents feel they have no vaue anymore, other than to help financially or baby sit. Everyone understands how a job loss can be traumatic but when our children grow up and move out of the home there can be a real sense of “loss of identity.”
It feels like we have lost our jobs, and when children make different choices than we did, or discard our advice, it can feel like we’ve been fired, have no value, have no say in their lives anymore. This can lead to feelings of frustration and even anger sometimes. As we stuff these feelings trying to love and be supportive, sometimes it only gets worse.
For the children, there is frustration such as “I have to find my own way, I am not you, I cannot do it like you did!” They often feel conditionally loved, as they struggle to make their own decisions, knowing ‘The parent” does not approve of how they are doing things! We don’t talk about these emotions very often in church!
We say things ilke “Be at Peace” or “just Pray” Or “just trust God!” What do we do with all these emotions?
Too often, we wind up crying by ourselves in some dark corner , wondering if anyone else feels the way we do. We try to make sense of it all, but often it makes no sense!
Here is the truth of the matter (as I have learned), That God CAN and WILL do a new thing in our lives! We can begin to see our children as the adults they are and have respect for their decisions, being supportive, even if it’s not the decision we would have made.
We can find a new Identity and let go and stop taking it so personally when they “reject” our opinions or advice. In this way we have become a great example to them, as they too will face these feelings as they get older, and would love to have a great example to light their way! We never stop being a parent to our children, we didn’t lose our jobs…..
Just how it is done is defined differently now, like a new Job Description! Someone needs to hear this.
Christmas can be a hard time of year. I love Christmas, but I don’t deceive myself, that it is a hard time for many.
In the Past, I can remembertimes I could not afford to get the presents, and even used food stamps to buy gifts for some, and to stuff my kids’s stockings with candy.
Many times, we went to food banks and rejoiced over a free turkey, and many times I was on my knees praying there would be something under our tree. “Lord Please, Don’t let my kids feel unloved, I cried” Please provide for Christmas! I struggled with it, when people told me what a “pagan holiday it is” (making me feel horrible for celebrating it) or sometimes, even told me “Just be thankful if you have something to eat,” When I would ask for prayer.
I”m sure these folks meant well, but eventually I just prayed, andmade my requests between myself and God. He understood, I told myself, that the kids were already going through enough: Trouble at school, poverty, a dad drinking and carrying on. The last thing they needed was for kids to brag on their wonderful presents and school, while they sat feeling “unloved.”
If you are one who helps others at Christmas time, just be aware you have NO IDEA How big of an impact you may be making. For all you know, this Christmas coud have been blessed, JUST BECAUSE of what you do. Many people blessed us and some, I never got to thank. There were toys from Toy drives, food from unidentified donors, and believe me, It all made a difference.
As a young Mother, I thanked God so many times for benevolent persons, like the friend that bought me a Christmas tree, the time someone loaned me her fancy ornaments, the one who bought my kids a winter coat one time, and so many other unexpected blessings through the years.
As I sit here, just remembing that somehow, every single year, God came through, provided for us, and every single Christmas while different, was always a blessing as we watched for his love. WE WATCHED FOR HIS LOVE! We expected him to show up, but I never told him how to do it.
My prayers, “Father please, just bless Christmas, I don’t know what to do,” Were always answered in some way. As a result, we still love Christmas! What I’ll always remember is we sought God, Thanked God, and Watched God “SHOW UP” in a multitude of ways.God is the true “Father” Of Christmas and he knows just how to bless you. “Ask!” Then Watch for him to show up.
He Knows Exactly the right way to bless you, Trust in Him. –Laura GraceAuthor
“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”
I know we’ve all heard that saying! Truly, I have my times too, when I can be stubborn. I find it interesting Jesus “Rode’ a donkey but think about this for a minute:
We don’t have to drink in God’s word. We don’t have to ‘seek him on every decision.” I am so thankful I had a preacher in my life to challenge me, years ago, to seek God about everything I do, and every decision I make. I’m so glad he preached righteousness to me (Right Standing with God).
Through the years, I’ve watched people mock, say thing like “Gosh Laura you don’t have to pray about everything!!” Yes, I do, if I want to have success! Sometimes they get to me so I don’t pray and whatever I’m doing falls to pieces…
Putting God first takes diligence, hard work to exercise our minds and heart to do his bidding. Remember YOU DON”T HAVE TO but Athletes who train get better results…..
And those who continue to have to be bridled and led, who lay their ears back and fight God’s leading…….
Wlll not have the victories they hope to have IN HIM. With Love ❤ ❤ ❤
“Don’t be like a horse or mule, which has no understanding…: Psalm 32 -Laura Grace
To Be at Peace with God, means to be at peace with his words. Knowing he loves us does not bring Conflict, it brings peace. Peace can come because we find out he agrees with us about injustice, and helps us to solve it, while other times, he may say to just let it go. Either way, we need to make up our minds, and be determined, that we will be at Peace with God.
To be at peace, means to be free from turmoil (and conflict).
Peace is a wonderful thing! Many do not have peace with God however, because they have conflict and turmoil over at least SOME of his words.
If we read our bible long enough, it’s likely at least something (if not a few things) will bring turmoil and conflict to our hearts and minds. I can remember for example, how When I first read: “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out!”
I remember what turmoil that passage brought to my heart and mind.
Instead of arguing with God, throwing my bible down in despair, I began to ask him why he said it, and what it meant (to me personally) and, He was faithful to answer me.
It’s no wonder so many of the letters in our bible begin with statements like “Grace, Peace, and Mercy” be upon you.” God knew his words would often bring (inner) turmoil. We don’t want to be found fighting against him.
When we lack peace, the first thing we should do is, “Make Peace with God” (and his word.) If we can’t do that, we should ask him to help us.
Just because we are not in compliance with is words, does not mean we can’t be at peace with it.
Ask for Understanding! Seek his help! Your Salvation is what he longs to help you with, above all else.
Believe me, He knows how much we need him. HE IS our Saviour! He is always ready and willing to help, and most especially, with things that concern our relationship with Him. With Love and blessings, Laura
As I was praying for miracles today……This little ditty came to me: ” “Blind men are seeing and lame men are walking, deaf ears are opened and mute people talking. People rejoicing and prisoners set free, these are a few of my favorite things……” To the tune of favorite things, (spontaneous poem) by Laura Grace
I don’t think we should ever stop believing for Miracles! NO matter what has happened! How about you?
Please don’t tell them they have to stay because it’s their duty to show “God’s love” to someone who abuses them over and over again. It’s not God’s will to send his kids out to be beaten by wolves in sheeps’ clothing. He doesn’t magically fix a spouse who wants to be abusive who wants nothing to do with HIM or His Ways. He doesn’t take away free will. It’s simply not responsible to teach someone to take repeated abuse. My book is not expensive and in down to earth language so anyone can undersand it. If you know someone who is abused and is afraid God will be upset with them if they leave their abusive spouse, I encourage you to get my book. I believe it glorifies God. With Love, Laura Grace https://lauragracebooks.com/about/