am I really required to love my abuser? · being battered emotionally · co-dependent · cure or healing for emotional pain · Help I'm a christian trying to love, what do I do? · Help, I"m trying to love an abuser · is there such a thing as loving too much? · Marital abuse · spousal abuse and emotional healing · the love, love love doctrine · Uncategorized · when being a christian is hard · why does love always have to hurt so much?

Mirror Mirror, on the wall, who’s the most loving, of them all?

There’s a subject that doesn’t get talked about much, in Christian Circles. It’s called “Pride’ Over how much we love others. If we stay on auto-pilot, only feed on what our church tells us, (unless we have a super healthy church) and do not read the bible for ourselves; chances are we are going to get the Love-Love-Love version of how everything should be.
This is fine, (in most cases), unless you happen to be dealing with, or living with a person who is programmed to deceive you, lie to you, con you, and drain the very life out of you, 24-hours a day. Unless you’ve been married to, or with a person who uses the bible against you (as in, every time you confront their lie they say, 
“You are not walking in Love” And, they act as the accuser, if you give them consquences for their actions, and say, “I don’t think you’re being very merciful honey, you may want to check yourself.”MIRROR MIRRORChances are, you may not understand just how treacherous this can be. I”m convinced the love love love doctrine when dealing with Abuse, is much like theories people have when they’ve never had children (yet).
Until you are abused like this, you probably have no reason to press in with God for what he meant by “Love you Enemies.” Loving your enemies may mean leaving them, sending the to Jail, or whatever else God thinks should happen. 
The Fruit of the Spirit (of Love) also contains much truth. God is not co-dependent. He is not into just showing love and mercy to those who chew him up, and spit him out (so to speak.). You would think we would know this, but, it’s not always the case. 
Christians are often held to the standard of love, the way WE understand it, not the way God spells it out. I wanted to walk in love so bad (and be one of God’s favorites) that I said long ago “I will always err on the side of loving.” it’s a brave stance, but people who don’t love God, who think you are a fool OR who think it’s your job to pick up the pieces after all their bad choices (time and time again) will not stop being this way, no matter how loving you are.
A picture God gave me is this: You would not let a person go into your church building, tear it all up, break the pews, destroy the Altar, and throw mud on the pulpit, time and time again. If you saw someone destroying your church building, you might forgive and forget ONCE if they repented, and promised not to do it again. If they wouldn’t listen to you the first time and were “bent’ On destroying your church building, you would likely call the police, wouldn’t you?
Why is it then, that US (the actual temple of the living God) would be considered less important- than a building made of stone or wood? Why do we believe it’s okay to “tear down” A person over and over again, and why would we ever council someone to just “Keep on Loving” in the sense of “Let them do it again?”
Beware of pride over “How well you Love!” I know it’s hard to believe, but it can become something we are “Proud of” (How Much abuse we take).
I hope you ponder my words, because often, “taking abuse’ becomes the only thing abused people feel they are good at. Once Pride sets in, (over how much we love our abuser), we have little hope of listening to someone who says we can be set free. 
Ecclesiastes 7:16 Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
“but deliver us from evil……” Luke 11:4 (NKJV) 
Laura Grace, Author,
Grace to the Rescue, Grace to Grow, Grace to Soar, Dsyfunctional People. 

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