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Who am I accountable to?

Laura GraceLeave a comment

Letter #20: Letting Go and Avoiding Strife

     My Dear Children,

     I woke up this morning thinking about how when you were younger, I had to avoid people who did not agree with me, to stay focused. When I say people who did not agree, I mean those who were very vocal about what they thought I should be doing.

    Moms, Grandmas, and others can be formidable forces in our lives while we are raising children. It is hard to stay focused when you have people giving you unsolicited advice all the time.

     I cannot speak for anyone else, but I know when I was younger, I was very insecure and very scared about being a parent.

     I felt like I should not be trusted with this great task and found the weight of responsibility that was placed upon my shoulders quite staggering.

     When I was younger, before I gave my life to Jesus, I used to go out and drink when I had a chance to do so. I wanted to kick up my heels, forget the problems and responsibilities, and had no idea how to do that without going out to party.

     The problem with that, was that the next day all the problems were still there and were even more difficult to handle with a hangover.

     I suppose people go at drug or alcohol addictions in all kinds of ways. I have heard success stories because of meetings, treatment, having God help, and sometimes even all three.

    I am not the most focused person in the world, but I could see to go forward and have the life I wanted to have, I was going to have to let go of things that hindered me.

    The very hardest thing for me to let go of was people.

     It always seemed so selfish to leave people behind, and I never wanted to be a selfish person.

     Whenever I think of letting go of people who are hindering me, I always get this picture in my mind of people drowning in a giant sea, and me standing there letting them wave their arms begging for help, while I walk along the beach ignoring their cries.

     There are for sure, many people in this life who make not-so-healthy decisions and continually want someone to bail them out of the problems that follow.

     About the time we let go of those people, we have the ones who come along and want to change our minds about our goals, and most everything we believe.

     Ultimately, I have one person I am going to have to explain myself to, and that’s God. I always have that in the forefront of my mind.

With Love, Mom        

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What I really think…….

Laura Grace2 Comments

“What I really think” has changed a lot through the years. Do you really want to hear about it? Let’s go! When I was in the Air Force, I had a Captain tell me “What he really thought” that everyone should go to college. I remember saying, “Well, if you had two people offering to fly your airplane, one with College, one with experience who would you choose? He said “I”d rather they had both college and experience, to which I said “But you have to choose.” (Guess what he chose?)

I used to think college was not important, until I went to school. I used to think because my preacher said everyone had to tithe, I should preach that too. Until I met a friend who got very upset with me and said “I give where God tells me to give” And she did not appreciate my 2-cent input. I used to think my Mom was too strict, so I started out not hardly disciplining my child. Until she tore my chair apart, wrecked all my cassette tapes, and poked holes in my waterbed. Then I decided discipline might be important. 🙄🤔

I used to think the government should pay for everyone who wanted to get by for free, until I found out when I was on assistance how humiliating it was. I used to Judge those people, and say they should get a job, until I experienced the absolute desparation that goes with no car and no babysitter who is reliable (and so on). I used to believe everyone should have food stamps forever, until I watched my own bank account dwindle to nothing from giving everything away, and having people mad I could not give them more. It was then I realized, “Hey, this has to be a team effort!”

I used to think a lot of things. That everyone should go to church every time the doors were open. That was before I found out what it’s like to be broken and hurting, and have someone say “You should have been here last week!” (Making me feel like I wish I didn’t come today!). I used to think a lot of things. I thought if you gave love, grace and mercy to someone, they would always appreciate it and you’d always reap what you sow. The truth is, I think different about some things because of what I have experienced. I used to think if you loved someone enough and did enough for them, they would eventually love you back.

I thought if you were big enough to say “I”m sorry” Maybe they would eventually say it too- (when they hurt my feelings) But none of this is the case.

I have noticed there are givers, takers, and learners. The learners can learn to be givers, or takers They have to decide which one they want to be. Truth be told, God is a giver!

I hope and pray no matter what happens to me, I will always choose to be like him.

God gives what is undeserved. I was asking something of him today and said “I don’t deserve this, but…………” (and asked of him, my request).

Now, I’ve been serving him a long time, but I still do not DESERVE anything! Everything I have is by his Grace. Every blessing, every success, every single thing! and for this Father I PRAISE YOU! Thank you for your Grace on my life! Help me give it as well as I’ve received it Father. AMEN

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8.

…..Laura ❤

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Those Problems you Face……..(and frustrations)

Laura GraceLeave a comment

Tearing your Hair Out? Frustrated today? Let me ask you something, if tearing some hair out would solve the problem, Would you do it? I know I sure would!

Have you ever been in strife with someone over a fundamental issue? I sure have.

Here is the definition of Strife: Angry or bitter disagreement over fundamental issues. Conflict. God says not to do it.

We disagree about politics, how to raise children, how to run the church. Strife gets into marraige, relationships, friendships. Strife is everywhere! And it is doing great harm, to the people involved in it.

The more we disagree on, the more likely we will have strife and chaos. I was listening to a sermon yesterday about “submitting to one another.” How Does that work, if we hold every one of our opinions so dear that we will never bend, never to listen to someone else’s viewpoint, and never back down?

In Fact, James says: “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.

And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.” James 3

OH, I see! “Blessed are the Peacemakers!” We are now back to Matthew 5, and Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.

So, how does this mysterious, yet Holy Peace Happen, without compromising our dearly held beliefs?

Very often (in the interest of Peace) I just keep my mouth shut. I can vent (to a friend) I can pray, I can re-assess my beliefs and decide if they are truly worth fighting for.

This is what I do to try to get the Anger and Strife OUT of my conversation.

I look at my motives. Why am I really arguing about this? Is it really necessary? Am I really helping anyone? I will not back down about my beliefs that were revealed to me by God (His Word) but I do not have to “Make Anyone”agree with me either. He does the convicting. The Convincing. He is God.

How Do you rid yourself of anger? What makes you angry (and why?). Do you have control issues? Fear? Is your anger truly righteous? These are things we need to find out. (Seek, and you will find?)

Do we have to be world changers? On the contrary, we were called to be seed-sowers and waterers of God’s Word. That means look for some “Good soil” to plant in. No strife. Even God will not “Force us” To change our mind…….

Personally, I don’t like to live in strife. I would rather walk away, take a drive, be by myself, and have long talks with God. There are some people however, who seem to thrive on it.

My suggestion is, if you are angry and want to strive, Let it go, before you have a heart attack, high blood pressure, or wind up with road rage.

People who are full of strife (and envy) are not the healthiest people on Earth. You can win an argument, but lose the war. You don’t have to win. You don’t even have to prove you are right.

Fools give full vent to their Anger. Righteous People look for a chance to plant (and water) Gods’ Truth.

If your advice is so great, (and of God) people who seek it as treasure will find you. If they don’t believe HIS truths are a treasure, they probably won’t listen to you anyway.

What is there to strive about? Nothing! Be at peace with what you believe, until the time comes you are not, and seek God’s wisdom about it, and ask for more information. Be part of the solution.

PS: Not being at Peace with your own beliefs, is an indicator you might need to do more seeking.

12 days of Christmas · 12 days of Christmas time · Alanon · answers to prayer · answerstoprayer · Christmas Preparation

Day 1: Christmas, My Happy Thought!

Laura GraceLeave a comment

I put up my Christmas tree a little early this year BEFORE Thanksgiving! If you don’t approve it’s too bad, I’ve already done it. What I believe if this, if you aren’t hurting anyone, it’s okay to have fun. And God knows this has been one stressful year. What harm can there be in having a little fun? (I said to myself).

Nope, I”m not going to drink or get drunk to reward myself for having survived “The year of corona virus.” And I refuse to let it drive me to drink because of the stress involved………

One reason I love Christmas so much, is that when I was a child, My Mom always made it fun. There were goodies baking and trees going up. There were bows and ribbons as she wrapped gifts for my cousins and aunts and uncles. Back then, we used to exchange gifts by mail.

I will be sharing some reasons I still have the Christmas Spirit, and how God played a part in that. I love Christmas music, Christmas trees, snowmen, carolers, bows and boxes, Christmas goodies, and time with friends and family.

What’s not to love about it? Christmas is such a beautiful time, but only if we keep it that way. Thanks for following me as I spend 12 days talking about Christmas, and why it is still kinda magical to me….

So here is the question: How can we de stress Christmas? And how can we get in tune with WHAT Christmas means to us, and why? Therein, lies the Journey….

with Love

Laura

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If you know someone who is abused….

Laura GraceLeave a comment

Please don’t tell them they have to stay because it’s their duty to show “God’s love” to someone who abuses them over and over again. It’s not God’s will to send his kids out to be beaten by wolves in sheeps’ clothing. He doesn’t magically fix a spouse who wants to be abusive who wants nothing to do with HIM or His Ways. He doesn’t take away free will. It’s simply not responsible to teach someone to take repeated abuse. My book is not expensive and in down to earth language so anyone can undersand it. If you know someone who is abused and is afraid God will be upset with them if they leave their abusive spouse, I encourage you to get my book. I believe it glorifies God. With Love, Laura Grace https://lauragracebooks.com/about/

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Having Confidence

Laura Grace2 Comments

Therefore do not cast away yourconfidence, which has great reward. Heb 10:35

The Lord showed me this yesterday…….

When we’ve made decisions that we later wish we hadn’t made, there is a danger we will lose credibility with ourselves. We no longer trust ourselves, so we can easily lose confidence in our ability to hear from God. This is the #1 threat to falling away, becoming entangled in religion, and a host of other problems which seem to “stunt our growth” In the Christian life.

We need to realize that so long as we are not living IN the word of God (and his words living in us) we are susceptible to deception. Adam and Eve had total wholeness when they were created, and lacked no ability to hear from God. When they disobeyed him, it wasn’t like they had lost any ability to hear (Him) nor were they born into a world of corruption and sin.

They willfully disobeyed him. This is so different from a person who becomes born-again, who now must trek through the layers of wrong teachings, lies of the enemy, and a multitude of obstacles, to come to their full stature (and wholeness) in Christ. As a new believer, I got deceived a few times, and it shook me up so much, I began to lose what I call “credibility with myself.” The cure for this is to look back, and realize it was God who saved you, not the church, not you and your own wisdom, and forgive yourself for what you didn’t know (back then.).

We are not out to make excuses here, but a five-year old can hardly be blamed if “their teacher” told them to get on the wrong bus. When that child is lost, has to call for help, and is found crying on a streetcorner somewhere, you’re going to want to know “who put them on the wrong bus,” right? After this, if you care about the child at all, you’ll want to teach them how to find their own bus, so they never get lost again. This is the very heart of God (towards us) that we would not be like children (tossed about, lost, or frightened) but armed and equpped to make great decisions, every single day.

God wants us to learn how to follow him, not how to “follow man.” We are all called to become priests, kings, and ambassadors for him. Anyone who tells you otherwise, and tries to live under the frame work of the old testament, is living under a shadow of what was to come.. We don’t want to live in the shadows anymore! In Christ, In Him, and having him as our Shepherd, there is no reason to be lost, ever again. Father I ask you, for those who have lost confidence in their ability to hear from you, “Restore it today’ I pray in Jesus’ mighty name. We say ‘get behind me satan” you do not have in mind the things of God. We have the mind of Christ, we are following after Jesus, he is our Shepherd, and the sheep know his voice.”

Amen (Laura Grace) author, Grace to the Rescue, Grace to Grow, and Dysfunctional People

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Doing the right thing…..(pressing on) Why should I? …….

Laura Grace1 Comment

Grace to the Rescue pic.jpg I can remember times when doing the right thing was like pulling teeth For me, literally. I hope this is not too candid, but I can remember times I screamed and hollered to the Lord I cannot take this anymore (screaming!!) and telling him how unfair it all was. I told him when I was tempted beyond what I could bear, I cried, yelled, begged, pleaded and said why why why don’t you do something about ________(so and so).

  Injustice was a thing that drove me nearly insane, as my soul counted up the cost of doing the right things for years on end, while someone else did what they pleased (and seemed to have no consequence). I was doing it God’s way and I wanted his help. I need him to back me up or I could do it no longer. I finally came to a place I had to say okay, I”ll go without him (my spouse) “Please Father do not let me Go!” 

You see, you really can’t do the counselling “co-dependent no more” thing and love your enemies and bless them at the same time.

Can you? I wish I could get across to some people out there (who have never experienced being married to an addict) that many are so slippery about not getting caught, covering their tracks, lying, getting away with stuff (and on and on it goes)

They aren’t BAD enough to get sentenced to treatment sometimes. I did the intervention thing, got him all mad at me, then he stayed one day and ran away from there. Telling people to do tough love ain’t that easy, unless you are willing to be like the good samaritan who paid the whole cost for someone’s healing.  Why do I say that? Because: ALL THOSE PROGRAMS you heard about, often do not help. Women who try to get free often get beat up, silenced and they finally stop telling you what is going on. They fear for their lives. Capice? 

How many of you out there have just wanted to give up? Be honest! If you’ve loved, forgiven, prayed, turned the other cheek so many times you lost count, isn’t there a time you finally say “Enough already?” Maybe just give up on that person and don’t tell anyone, because if you have to hear one more “love lecture” It will be the end of your rope! What’s the purpose of this message right now? It’s This: 

LET THEM GO BEFORE YOU HATE THEM!

If you Shrink back from Jesus because your abuser makes you want to turn on God it’s TIME TO GO………….GET OUT OF THERE! Nothing is worth losing Jesus over. 

The same applies to Jobs where you are being abused, when church people abuse you……..(and on and on it goes). Pray for God to help you as his GRACE will keep you where he intends you to be. Sometimes we are “no longer graced to be” in a certain situation. It’s time to go……….

If you have loved and forgiven, loved and forgiven, God gave you the grace to do that. You asked for strength, he gave it to you. If you can’t do it anymore even after prayer IT”S TIME TO LET GO! You matter too. God doesn’t want anyone “dragging your soul to hell” because they are bent on destruction. 

Having Faith means not letting go of Jesus’ hands. Have faith to let go my friend, Have faith to press on…..Have Faith to see miracles, have Faith to believe the miracle might just be “YOU” surviving this…..”Have Faith” …..

  How you accomplish that, is between you and God, my friend. 

 

And, “But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.” Hebrews 10:38 

Laura Grace, author, Grace to the Rescue. A story of Deliverance. A story of Love. A story of Hope. A story of Redemption. And it’s all true: 

https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Rescue-testimony-1/dp/1548002461/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1543107013&sr=8-2&keywords=grace+to+the+rescue+by+laura+grace

 

 

 

 

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the Letting go process (it’s so very hard)

Laura GraceLeave a comment

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One of the hardest things I’ve ever done (and still do) is accepting what I cannot change. it’s especially hard when you love someone, so very much, and you’ve invested so much into them, you just practically die trying to let them go…….

 We need to let go of people sometimes. People who are not ready to receive yet, or people who don’t want to change anything and it becomes what I call a one-way relationship. Relationships take work, committment, prayer, wisdom, (can you think of some more ingredients?) from both people to succeed & be good. 

My advice is to get to a place you can Rest in Him- and allow God to do the work he needs to do in you, no matter what! Even if others are not as passionate as you are about it. This is called “loving yourself” (the Jesus way). 

….then when you’ve received from God- you can love others “as you love yourself”…see? You can let go without giving up on a person. You can commit them into the loving hands of Jesus, through prayer. I have said sometimes “Thank you Father if you want this relationship to be, you will work things out. Show us what your vision is Father, for our relationship, in Jesus’ name!” 

There have been those I’ve had to let go of, simply because they were hindering God from taking me where I wanted to go. In those cases, at times, I”ve had to let go. 

If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well

James 2:8

     I’m not sure God meant foot massages, meals out, or great vacations. The best way to love yourself is to spend time with Him (and allow him to be your best friend!). 

” And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ This is the first commandment. 31 And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

So the scribe said to Him, “Well said, Teacher. You have spoken the truth, for there is one God, and there is no other but He.” -Mark 12:31-32

Prayer: “Dear Father help me stay in balance today. Help me love others AS I love myself. Help me to love myself the way you intended and receive what you want me to receive.” you know best! In Jesus’ name” Amen.