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Who am I accountable to?

Letter #20: Letting Go and Avoiding Strife

     My Dear Children,

     I woke up this morning thinking about how when you were younger, I had to avoid people who did not agree with me, to stay focused. When I say people who did not agree, I mean those who were very vocal about what they thought I should be doing.

    Moms, Grandmas, and others can be formidable forces in our lives while we are raising children. It is hard to stay focused when you have people giving you unsolicited advice all the time.

     I cannot speak for anyone else, but I know when I was younger, I was very insecure and very scared about being a parent.

     I felt like I should not be trusted with this great task and found the weight of responsibility that was placed upon my shoulders quite staggering.

     When I was younger, before I gave my life to Jesus, I used to go out and drink when I had a chance to do so. I wanted to kick up my heels, forget the problems and responsibilities, and had no idea how to do that without going out to party.

     The problem with that, was that the next day all the problems were still there and were even more difficult to handle with a hangover.

     I suppose people go at drug or alcohol addictions in all kinds of ways. I have heard success stories because of meetings, treatment, having God help, and sometimes even all three.

    I am not the most focused person in the world, but I could see to go forward and have the life I wanted to have, I was going to have to let go of things that hindered me.

    The very hardest thing for me to let go of was people.

     It always seemed so selfish to leave people behind, and I never wanted to be a selfish person.

     Whenever I think of letting go of people who are hindering me, I always get this picture in my mind of people drowning in a giant sea, and me standing there letting them wave their arms begging for help, while I walk along the beach ignoring their cries.

     There are for sure, many people in this life who make not-so-healthy decisions and continually want someone to bail them out of the problems that follow.

     About the time we let go of those people, we have the ones who come along and want to change our minds about our goals, and most everything we believe.

     Ultimately, I have one person I am going to have to explain myself to, and that’s God. I always have that in the forefront of my mind.

With Love, Mom        

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