Feelings of lost identity? You are not alone!

a little word on relationships…

I feel led to share this, this morning. A lot of times when kids leave the next (grow up and move away) parents feel they have no vaue anymore, other than to help financially or baby sit. Everyone understands how a job loss can be traumatic but when our children grow up and move out of the home there can be a real sense of “loss of identity.”

It feels like we have lost our jobs, and when children make different choices than we did, or discard our advice, it can feel like we’ve been fired, have no value, have no say in their lives anymore. This can lead to feelings of frustration and even anger sometimes. As we stuff these feelings trying to love and be supportive, sometimes it only gets worse.

For the children, there is frustration such as “I have to find my own way, I am not you, I cannot do it like you did!” They often feel conditionally loved, as they struggle to make their own decisions, knowing ‘The parent” does not approve of how they are doing things! We don’t talk about these emotions very often in church!

We say things ilke “Be at Peace” or “just Pray” Or “just trust God!” What do we do with all these emotions?

Too often, we wind up crying by ourselves in some dark corner , wondering if anyone else feels the way we do. We try to make sense of it all, but often it makes no sense!

Here is the truth of the matter (as I have learned), That God CAN and WILL do a new thing in our lives! We can begin to see our children as the adults they are and have respect for their decisions, being supportive, even if it’s not the decision we would have made.

We can find a new Identity and let go and stop taking it so personally when they “reject” our opinions or advice. In this way we have become a great example to them, as they too will face these feelings as they get older, and would love to have a great example to light their way! We never stop being a parent to our children, we didn’t lose our jobs…..

Just how it is done is defined differently now, like a new Job Description! Someone needs to hear this.

With Love,

Laura Grace


A Sunday Morning Sermon…

My thoughts this morning…..

We’ve all had people in our lives (at times) who we long to be close to, but we cannot seem to get close to them. They like to argue, or get defensive, or sometimes even shut us out.

I’ve had people I just wanted to encourage, or share my heart with them, and sometimes I still get amazed at the reactions that happens in what seems iike such a simple statement of me sharing something God put in my heart, to share with others…….

It’s at that moment, we realize our statement is clashing with their belief system. It’s like “Light meeting the dark,” and it causes a storm.

When this happens, I always go to God and ask if I was wrong. I don’t “assume I am right.” I see God as the teacher, and my part is to continually learn from him. This leads to growing, (up) more and more in him.

It doesn’t matter how many “Years” someone has been with God. it matters how much they have received from him.

The only way I know to keep learning (and growing in Him) is to continually ask the Holy Spirit to teach me. Jesus sent him to teach us, He wants to teach us, so as long as we are willing, our becoming Christ-Like and growing in him is a done deal.

Praise the Lord!  -Laura  Grace , Author, Grace to Grow by Laura Grace