Father in the name of Jesus, be with me today as I write from my heart; where you truly do dwell within me. Amen.
I’m having my coffee time today with the Lord and thinking about Family. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with the unfulfilled expectations of others, especially in the realm of our beloved families.
My children? Well I love them unconditionally. I may become disappointed at times or even angry if I feel they are making grave mistakes: but my love for them? It never changes.
As we learn and grow in our relationship with the Lord; things can become pretty complicated (at times).
Here we are: born as individuals; having things inside us that seemed to just be there when we were born. Maybe it’s that love for poetry and your mom wanted you to be a baker. You could have cared less about baking so you felt like a big disappointment (and failure) to this woman you loved so very much.
Or maybe you wanted to be a mechanic and your mom was busy teaching you how to do girl things. I remember one day my daughter said she hated dresses: she was so pretty I wanted to dress her in dresses and show her off to the world; but at heart she was really quite the tomboy.
Mom and Dad statements can be a pretty powerful thing; and we (as people) have no real idea how much of an impact our words have sometimes. Tender hearts can be hidden in rough and seemingly brazen “outsides” while at other times; those who seem to be the most pliable are really hardened inside; and not really listening to a word we say.
Only God knows the heart of a person; and just because someone is nice does not mean they necessarily have a beautiful heart. In our hearts are all the pains we have ever experienced in life: and only God is capable of truly healing us and rooting it all out.
Therapy helps (at times) so does talking to a friend; but when the rubber hits the road I still say only God can heal a wounded heart. Then we have the fact that the person WITH The wounded heart has to “want” to be healed. Some do not wish for this; they would rather wear their pain like a badge or an identifier of who they really are.
Trust me when I say: when I wrote Grace to the Rescue I did not think “this is who I am” (victim) I thought this was the pit I crawled out of with the Help of Almighty God and I am going to tell everyone; everywhere, any time that I know for a fact when your beloved doesn’t love you and you feel like your world is going to pieces: God is there, will be there and will not forsake you.
I don’t believe in recipes, pat answers or clichés. Every story is different, every person is unique; and only God can really know the road to your personal healing and restoration.
In the mean time we have to deal with the people in our lives closest to us; right?
I want to challenge you in one area here. our relationships are only going to be as deep as we allow them to be. Shallow (surface) is what we will have unless all involved want to go deeper. the old saying “it takes two to tango” really is true after all.
The saddest thing of all is when a husband and wife cannot get close- because one wants to be shallow and the other really wants to know their spouse inside and out.
I’ve lived that one. We as people need to realize (I believe) that God gave us the relationships in our lives. We talk about how Jesus said “let the dead bury their dead, follow me” and what he was saying was: His agenda takes precedence over any other desire (yours, family and whatever else) and that he wants to be on the throne of your heart. He wasn’t saying to go around discarding family members like they are old shoes.
God gave me the family I have; and it took me a long time to realize this. I would look at pastors and pastor’s wives with their kids; (all serving God) and at one time in my life felt pretty robbed I did not have the ideal family unit. It scared me. We talk about the last days and begin to learn God’s holy word and to be quite frank: it can scare the poo out of us.
Read proverbs sometime: you will see what I mean. It says stuff like “bad company” corrupts good morals. Is my family member bad company? (You may wonder) or we talk about how it’s better to cut off our arm and enter heaven with one than to have both arms and be dragged into hell! God doesn’t mess around or mince words; and we as Christians know this (or at least we should!)
Sometimes it takes us a long time to get our bearings enough to where we can actually share with our family what our beliefs are. We are so busy getting grounded in what we know is ETERNALLY important we may fail to keep up with what family sees as important. I know I did. It’s not that I didn’t love my family; it just takes a lot of time to get to know God and his ways. It takes effort, dedication and can be very time consuming (like college?).
A family member who boasts their daughter is off to college looks forward to that one time a year or whenever they can see them “cheering them on.” oh if our families would just cheer us on instead of telling us how much we have disappointed them or let them down. Wouldn’t that be a grand thing?
See; everyone is different. If your heart is wounded and so is your sister’s or brother’s or mom or Dad then what should we do? Well we pray of course: and we ask for healing and love. What else can we do? It’s the Christian way. Looking for the good in someone is also the Christian way. While we dodge the fire filled darts of words that seem to come against us “telling us” what a big failure we are we must muster up the courage by the Grace of God to carry on, do our best: pray and Trust God with all the rest. Don’t you think?
and I want to remind you of a beatitude here.
“blessed are you” when someone speaks evil about you. Why? Because God is about to use you to prove them wrong. 🙂 with love and affection;