being real with Jesus · believingGod · grace · Uncategorized

My Dad passed away……

Dad and me 2017.jpg I know many of you haven’t heard from me for a time. This blog is called “Grace to Grow Daily” so I feel a little bad about not writing, for so long. This is my Dad. His name was Jack Swensen, and for all who knew him, he was quite the mystery sometimes. He told me one time, “Maybe I’ll 

write my memoires one day.” He Loved Racing, and he loved cars, especially Mopar engines. He was a fine mechanic and a good friend to a chosen few. They used to call him “Smilin’ Jack” a long time ago, and he was always smiling, I’ll give him that. 

While my Dad and I had our differences through the years, I always loved him. I can’t say I understood him very often, but love him I did, and I think deep down, he loved me as well. I know one time, he shot a dog in the behind because it came after me and scared me (with a pellet gun) and the cops came and said “do not do that again”. He said, “If it goes after my daughter, I will do it again.” 

He was supportive of my guitar playing and music, always asking me to do a song for him when I came to visit him. He loved Chicken, Pizza, Nascar, All kinds of racing, and collecting coins at the end. 

He didn’t treat me like his little princess, so much of the time I felt like he didn’t love me or want me, I must admit. In the end, I understood he didn’t know how to love me, because he really never experienced God’s love for himself. 

I just never knew (never knew) my friends, that losing a parent could be so difficult if you didn’t feel that close to them, really. I had no idea. There is a hole in my heart now, where Dad used to be. I must pray God fills that hole with himself, lest I spend my life in mourning. Father, would you please fill this empty space in my heart with you? Only you know what I need most Father……come Holy Spirit, fill my heart I pray with your goodness, kindness, love and blessings that can only come from you. 

 

In Jesus’ name….amen PS: I loved you Dad. 

 

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How Ministers feel sometimes (The question and answer committees)

Questions

It’s not that I don’t appreciate your help, and it’s not that I am snobby, or too spiritual, okay? It’s just that I am sitting here with a real big problem (that I don’t know how to solve) and am already battling in the spirit (With God’s help, of course) to fight off fear, worries, concerns, insecurities, and a myraid of other things. The last thing I need right now, is more stuff to worry about! 

One thing ministers do not often talk about (and likely battle alone, or with the help of a few mature commrades) is what I’ll call the “questions and suggestions” trial- that seems to happen every time they ask for prayer. 

Example: “Let’s pray for healing for_______” We pray. Person #1 approaches me and tells me how Aunt Hazel solved the very same problem. “Thank you,” I say. Person #2 tells me “Well you know they are backslid and haven’t been to church in awhile.” (I take note of it and smile). Person #3 tells me what healing video I should be watching (to help my faith) Person #4 Tells me about 3 others that need prayer for healing, Person #5 asks me if they have been to the doctor.

“Well, no I say, they don’t have insurance!” This leads to a big long conversation about help that is out there, which leads to me explaining why this person can’t get that particular help…….soon My mind is so clogged I forgot what the Lord just said to me about believing for their healing……..

Questions and suggestions and, not a single one of them asked GOD before they spoke ….. 

  Nope, they just said the first thing that popped into their brain. (Like Peter). 

So now I start to just ignore it all (and pray, and look to be so spiritual I am no earthly good!) It’s not lack of appreciation, but sometimes, we just don’t have time for it.

There are as many experiences as there are people (almost) and while some can be categorized, boxed up, and filed under “Help with______,” I have noticed the more possible answers I find (for any problem) the more stressed and confused I get! 

Continue reading “How Ministers feel sometimes (The question and answer committees)”