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Relationships 5 “No More Drama not even for your mama” the dark underbelly of “Control” (Part 1)

Control vs influence conTROL VS INFLUENCE Jesus.jpg

 Have you ever had anyone come on your FB wall and argue, and argue, and argue (Until you finally have to delete them?) Because if you don’t, the message you are trying to get across is lost in a sea of debate? It reminds me of when we were kids, and played “king of the hill.” Whoever could push you off your stance on the mount “became King!” …..

Control: To direct a person or animal to behave a certain way. To have power over something. Authority: the power to or right to make decisions, or direct (It is given) 

See the difference? One is given. One is assumed. Stephen had authority given by God to speak. A mob of controllers silenced him because they were cut to the heart (conviction). Acts 7:54-59

What is it? If you’ve spent any time on the internet, You’ve probably experienced control. It’s the counterfeit of Authority. Jesus spoke as “one who had authority” He did not argue with people, or try to talk over top of them.

He didn’t whine about how intolerant people are. He found those who wanted to listen.

If you notice, Jesus didn’t talk about “his rights’  His Authority came from the Father in Heaven. He walked in it by simply “going about his Father’s business.”  (Luke 2:49).

His Authority was questioned in Matthew 21. (by the Pharisees). He wisely refused to answer them. He knew their tricks.

Control starts with fear. Not fear like Fear of snakes or bugs, but fear of conviction or being exposed. Sometimes fear of not beng “in power or in control (of that which they wish to control!) Fear of hearing the truth..(and having to make adjustments). 

It was control (in a mob mentality) that made them stone Stephen to death Acts 7:54-59.

Controlling people will often accuse you of being controlling. Here is the difference. You have authority over your house, your face book, your car, your “twitter account” and before all that, your mind, your will and your emotions. God gave you freedom (from the evil one) when he sent Jesus to the cross.

He spoiled all those powers and triumphed over them, “making a show of them” openly. (Col 2:15).

People may have different things they want control of (and to put a lid on things) but the motive is always the same. “I am in control.” Ever heard that expression,” I”ve got it all under control?” Yes, you have! You may have even said it! Controlling people will talk over the top of you, not let you get a word in edgewise, and will use all sorts of tactics to “shut you up.” Why? Because they don’t wish to hear you. If you put them in their place, they will often call you: “conrolling!” 

I pray Father in Jesus’ name as I consider and reveal about control (and where it comes from) you will help us all learn YOUR ways and not man’s ways about how to deal with this. I pray this Father “LET THERE BE LIGHT” In all areas of our souls, hearts, and minds that comes only from you Dear Father!”

In Jesus’ name “deliver us” from the evil one, cause us to escape his lies, which have been growing like weeds since that day he entered this earth. In Jesus’ name. (amen)

-stay tuned for part 2. Laura Grace control vs influence.png   Author, speaker, minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ 

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Relationship #2 No Drama “YOU” are you who you want to be?

Relationship 9

Relationships #2 YOU (Is at the core of every relationship.) Are you who you want to be?

“Being Real” is something we hear all the time. You should “be real” (They say). But it’s not defined. What does being real mean to you? Your anger (about social injustice) outrage (over the issues of life) or even grief, pain, sorrow…..(over untold Losses)

That’s not WHO you really are. is it? No. At the core or heart of relationship-is who WE are. If we don’t like ourselves how do we expect others to like us? If we are not at peace with ourselves, how can anyone else be at peace with us?

Can anyone MAKE us happy? (including God?). I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the man at the pool of Bathesda, (in John, chapter 5) where he said “do you want to be made well?”

Mental health is every bit as important (if not more important) than physical health. Many of us were “messed up” in our minds over things that happened throughout our lives. Abuse. Bullying. Social Injustices. And you don’t have to be a minority to experience discrimination, favoritism, and being left out by those ‘Elitists.”

It all hurts, and it all affects us (deeply) in our hearts.

A whole (Healed) Person has a Healed Soul and Mind. Did you notice Jesus dealt with this man’s heart? (and mind?) “Do you want to be well?”

Do you want to be made well? God asked me one time if I wanted Restoration or Compensation! (Wow!) I chose Restoration. Compensation is what you get when you sue someone over what was done to you. Or get “payment” for your loss.

I don’t want compensation. I want restoration! I choose life!

Even in relationships we have to ask this question: “do we want to get along?” (or do we just want to argue?). Do we want to do the work it takes to have a great relationship?

What’s important to us? What matters most? And truly “WHO” do we wish to be? A fighter? Scrapper? Conquerer? Leader of the band? Or do we wish to have our identity forever be “continual victim” because we believe this is our lot in life?

1.Who do you want to be? And why? God really wants to know! Let him know who you would like to be! Then ask “what he wants you to be!” This is relationship at it’s finest. TWO WAY (not one way).

2. Make peace with yourself (However long it takes)

3. Be a friend (to yourself) And receive all God has for you. This will make you a better friend to others…in the long run (and a better spouse, better employeee, and so on and so forth). This means “Being willing to take correction”.

You’d be amazed at the things I’ve said to Jesus. I came to the conclusion years ago…”He already knows” so.I may as well tell him the truth! Trust me, he can handle it. I’ve said things to God that are so shocking I waited for lightning to hit me! But it didn’t! His love enveloped me instead…….(I testify!)

You can’t “offend him” by telling him the truth! I feel like Giving up Father! I have had about enough Father! I need you to show me Father (And let him know what you truly believe you need from him). I will give you a clue however……that when we ask him for what he already wants to give us, it’s likely to happen a lot quicker.

1 John 5:14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (NKJV) Peace! Until Next time, -Laura Grace

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No Drama not even for your Mama! Relationships #2 Judging/Making snap-judgments

RElationship 13 judging.jpg

Relationships #1 Judging (and snap judgments).

Nothing is scarier than a person armed with Knowledge, (bold as brass), yet not having an entire handle (or view) of the truth. The truth actually contains “the whole picture” not just your view of it.

If we see a house next door to us, we cannot see the roof, the basement, or the interior of the house. We can only see our viewpont, unless we investigate and get a closer view. Right?

Yet at times, we all make “snap” judgments, better known as jumping to conclusions! And why did I say nothing is scarier than these types?

Because: People with real problems are vulnerable (more than any others) to this “mis-applied’ Information, and you can really “Mess them up.” 

I met a gal a few years ago, who had such problems in her marraige it was staggering.

After hearing her story, I jumped to the conclusion (based on my knowledge) she needed to get out of there and start over. THANK (YOU) God for a background in learning that prayer (and asking the Holy Spirit how to pray) was important (to God). if not for those Spiritual Teachings. I have no idea how much damage I might have done with my “I know the answer” type advice.

I did pray before I spoke, but I really didn’t take much time to really seek God about her situation, before opening my mouth! I was so gung ho about seeing women not abused, I failed to see God wanted to heal this relationship.

And so I learned. The hard way.

We can know things that are true, yet mis-apply that truth. That’s what the Pharisees did on more than one occasion, with Jesus. They knew the Sabbath was holy, but they mis-applied that truth and attacked him about his disciples picking some wheat, or his healing of someone on the Sabbath Day. They crossed from knowledge to Judging, and I suspect pride had come in- over their “great knowledge” about God’s Word.

When people say “God is Judging” (Over all this sin) i want to remind you of this passage: Matthew 7:2 “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (KJV).

When God Does Judge, by his own standard- it’s to those who are measuring out Judgment toward others. This is the only type of judgment we need to be concerned with, as it’s not up to use WHO receives mercy or who doesn’t! That is between them (and God)- not between them and us.

When we are too concerned with Justice, or even protecting ourselves and others, we can find ourselves in the very deep water of mis-applying the truth, and making snap-judgements all too quickly. No wonder Jesus said “take my yoke, learn of me”

Let’s keep learning! (and deal withourselves first!) It is wise to do so. The best relationships start with YOU! And as we learn of Jesus, (relationship #1) all the others will get better.  -Laura Grace, author, Grace to Grow 

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A word about……Your heart (and the intentions thereof) by Laura Grace

heart and soul We’ve all heard those sayings, like this one: “I had good intentions!” Or how about this one? “The road to hell is paved with (good intentions!). That last one is a harsh one, in today’s society! Saying things like that could get you in big trouble! 

Check out these words concerning the choice of David for the next King:

 The Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1Samuel 16:7
I was in church about three years ago, and I heard a woman say to another person, “I heard that minister didn’t even go to ministry school, He just preaches!” She was all aghast. I also remember my reaction which was to think, “So?” I pondered the disciples who became Apostles in the bible, and how they followed Jesus, learned of him, and were baptized in the Holy Spirit. They turned the world upside down, every one of them, without a “degree.” 
Fast forward now, to me sitting with a pastor’s wife, who said something like this: “Man does look at the outward appearance.” I realized at that moment, I had only pondered the second half of that passage, for most of my Christian life. 
You see……I had been telling her I didn’t understand why I am now in Bible College, pursuing a degree. I said “I felt like the Lord wants me to do this, but I don’t understand why. Well? Man looks (at credentials) … God wants me equipped (for EVERY good work) And if it means a degree……I will not say no to him! 
God does look at the heart, yes, over and above our (outside) appearance. He looks at intents, and our motives too. What God wants for us is first, and foremost, over what man thinks we ought to do (yes!). But we do have to keep in mind “our ministry” will be affected by how we look to others. I’m pretty sure God doesn’t need any “rebels without a cause” running around snubbing their nose at those who want to clean up their act, on the outside, as well as on the inside. 
I’ve lost track of how many times I have heard this statement: “You’re a people pleaser!” 
Really? They don’t know me. I (at times) do appear that way. What they don’t know is, I used to despise people! (before I met Jesus) and for those who really know me, they know I used to not care a bit what anyone thinks (about me). In fact, I went out of my way sometimes to let people know how much I didn’t care (what they thought). 
If I appear that way, it’s because I am intent on not losing any opportunity to get across God’s message (of love, mercy, healing, and grace!). I do not have to prove I care, or that I don’t care. God knows my heart. The crux of this message is to say this: WE need to know the motives of our own hearts! If we know why we do what we do, We’ll always have a ready answer for those who ask……
“Father I thank and praise you that you look at our hearts first, and not the outside appearance. However I do thank you also, that you get around to helping us clean up our act. You do clean the outside (and the inside) OF US so that we are more useful and Holy (set apart) for the great works you want to do for us. In Jesus’ name!”  Amen! 
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What do you consider to be “RESPECTABLE” ? What does God think about Respect? and being respectful

I hear a lot about being respectful nowdays. “Respect me” or “That’s disrespetful.” The truth is if someone sets a boundary, we should respect that boundary or (the Authority) of the one who set the boundary. No Trespassing signs, No solicitors, Keep off the grass! If we violate those boundaries it’s a trespass. 

But really, what is being respectful or respectable in the eyes of Jesus? Or the World? are they the same? 

I really struggle with the word “respectful,” sometimes. I have prayed about it over the years, asking God what he thinks about it all. As usual he doesn’t answer, sometimes for years. I think it’s because he waits for His word to grow and develop in our heart(s). Sooner or later the fruit will come out, including the fruit of understanding his Word.

And yes, Understanding is a “fruit’ or outcome- of studying, praying and seeking him. 🙂 It’s the fruit of HIS own Love building us up (in HIm.)

I see this: What the World (humans in general) have respect for: 

  1. A person well-educated on a topic 2. Success financially 3. Ruling without apology and successful management of people or business 4. Overcoming incredible odds by sheer determination 5. Selfless Humanitarianism and tireless giving

This is what I see God Respects: 

  1. Receiving Revelation from Him (Understanding) about his Word by his Spirit. 2. Faithful with goods or money and not clinging to it, surrendered to Him 3. Serving without selfish Ambition as directed by His Spirit 4. Overcoming by his strength and in obedience toward Him 5. Ministry as God says to do it (no matter how foolish it looks) And looking after his own sheep (feeding them, finding them, helping them) and doing what he says! (When he says, how he says) Gen 4 The story of Abel.

  Pretty different, aren’t they? Do I care what the world thinks (about me?) Or what God thinks? Which one will I face for all eternity? Hmm 

Gen 4:4 “And the Lord Respected Abel”. (We know what happened to him, right?) 

To respect a boundary -is to not trepass. For instance, if you put out a sign “Keep off the Grass” Or tell someone “Please don’t belch in my house” and they do it anyway, it’s disrespectful (not honoring their wishes, in their own house).  I have no problem with this, but I do have a problem with respect when it comes to a one-way relationship.

As far as belief systems go, if I have to respect your beliefs, you need to respect mine. This means we may not “trespass on each other” If I say stop (regarding your input) or you say stop (concering my input) we both should have to stop (out of Love IE: Respect) For each other’s personal boundaries.

Here’s the thing: God’s Word, and the world’s opinion, will never mix. One is hot, one is cold. One is sharp, one is dull. You can’t be conformed to this world and transformed by God at the same time. We can’t love (be On fire or Hot) for God While embracing all the thoughts of this world (which is cold toward God,) and not become lukewarm. Hot and cold mixed makes “tepid” (Lukewarm) waters. Hot water flushes out bacteria, germs and unhealthy things. HOT For God’s word (on fire) cleanses us in Holy Fire.

So if I don’t seem respectful of the world’s advice, I will not apologize for that. My food is to do the will of my Father (in Heaven). My mandate is to Follow him. My mind is to be renewed on his Word, not every thing you want to tell me, that you think is cool or the latest rage, or the latest fashion. Call me disrespectful about the opinions of others if you wish, For really, I could say the same about you. Are you respectful of God’s Word?

He made this world! He Framed it! His input is Bread (and life) to my soul.

If you are looking for the world to applaud you for your belief system, you will probably be very disappointed. They aren’t going to applaud you. Respect for God, his ways, and his people is not something the world is ever going to do. If you give them

Respect,other than just saying Okay “I will” Keep off your grass” I WILL stop talking to you about God- because you said “it’s trespassing” has nothing to do with me having to listen to YOU and your opinions all day long! That is not respect, that’s cowing down to someone who does NOT have the answers (Christian) and you know better! So don’t listen to them. Stick with God. Blessed is the man who Trusts in Him (and inclines their ear to hear what God has to say!) Proverbs 2.   What Good is it to gain the world? (Jesus said) and lose your soul? Hmm Something to Ponder. 

-Laura Grace Author, Grace to Grow 

 

John 15:8    Romans 12:2   1 John 2:15-17   Matthew 16:26

 

 

 

 

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The gift within you…….

guitar string

“Stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord.” 2 TIMOTHY 1:6-8
“Paul does not tell Timothy to pray for a better opportunity, or passively wait for God to rise up within him and overwhelm him. Timothy needed to exercise the gift. He needed to stir it up. He had something to offer, something to contribute.
Paul’s exhortation was not to persist in false humility or passive waiting, but to be proactive, to stir it up, and serve the Body of Christ as a faithful steward.
According to Paul’s assessment, it was not a spirit of humility that held Timothy back, it was a spirit of fear.” -By Chip Brogden