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Relationships 5 “No More Drama not even for your mama” the dark underbelly of “Control” (Part 1)

Control vs influence conTROL VS INFLUENCE Jesus.jpg

 Have you ever had anyone come on your FB wall and argue, and argue, and argue (Until you finally have to delete them?) Because if you don’t, the message you are trying to get across is lost in a sea of debate? It reminds me of when we were kids, and played “king of the hill.” Whoever could push you off your stance on the mount “became King!” …..

Control: To direct a person or animal to behave a certain way. To have power over something. Authority: the power to or right to make decisions, or direct (It is given) 

See the difference? One is given. One is assumed. Stephen had authority given by God to speak. A mob of controllers silenced him because they were cut to the heart (conviction). Acts 7:54-59

What is it? If you’ve spent any time on the internet, You’ve probably experienced control. It’s the counterfeit of Authority. Jesus spoke as “one who had authority” He did not argue with people, or try to talk over top of them.

He didn’t whine about how intolerant people are. He found those who wanted to listen.

If you notice, Jesus didn’t talk about “his rights’  His Authority came from the Father in Heaven. He walked in it by simply “going about his Father’s business.”  (Luke 2:49).

His Authority was questioned in Matthew 21. (by the Pharisees). He wisely refused to answer them. He knew their tricks.

Control starts with fear. Not fear like Fear of snakes or bugs, but fear of conviction or being exposed. Sometimes fear of not beng “in power or in control (of that which they wish to control!) Fear of hearing the truth..(and having to make adjustments). 

It was control (in a mob mentality) that made them stone Stephen to death Acts 7:54-59.

Controlling people will often accuse you of being controlling. Here is the difference. You have authority over your house, your face book, your car, your “twitter account” and before all that, your mind, your will and your emotions. God gave you freedom (from the evil one) when he sent Jesus to the cross.

He spoiled all those powers and triumphed over them, “making a show of them” openly. (Col 2:15).

People may have different things they want control of (and to put a lid on things) but the motive is always the same. “I am in control.” Ever heard that expression,” I”ve got it all under control?” Yes, you have! You may have even said it! Controlling people will talk over the top of you, not let you get a word in edgewise, and will use all sorts of tactics to “shut you up.” Why? Because they don’t wish to hear you. If you put them in their place, they will often call you: “conrolling!” 

I pray Father in Jesus’ name as I consider and reveal about control (and where it comes from) you will help us all learn YOUR ways and not man’s ways about how to deal with this. I pray this Father “LET THERE BE LIGHT” In all areas of our souls, hearts, and minds that comes only from you Dear Father!”

In Jesus’ name “deliver us” from the evil one, cause us to escape his lies, which have been growing like weeds since that day he entered this earth. In Jesus’ name. (amen)

-stay tuned for part 2. Laura Grace control vs influence.png   Author, speaker, minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ 

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Relationships! no more drama, not even for your mama! by Laura Grace

Relationships! Introduction: By Laura Grace Should I give up, shut up, put up my dukes? 

Relationships are one of the hardest things we will ever contend with in this life. Frankly Not a subject I have wanted to contend with OR address. Even in my book Grace to Grow, I talked about it being hard. but I didn’t say a whole lot about it. That’s because it’s not cut and dry. Every relationship is different. There are variations (Within) and while we all know there are basic principles in the word of God how do we know Which Principle to apply?

I’m going to address hard truths, talk about real situations, and share with you what God 
has taught me thus far about relationships……..

What about giving up? Did I fail that person? How do I know? How do I get closure when they won’t talk to me anymore?

How do I love them- yet avoid the drama? AS we begin……Let’s Ponder Matthew in chapter 5 where Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers” …….(Matthew 5:9) and 
explore how we make peace (in various ways) as we are BECOMING children of God.

Yes, I said becoming. (You’re being formed and shaped here, into his image!) Amen

“Father please, be with me as I do this series and I know you will be. Allow me to share from your heart to theirs “what works” and what does not work! For you already know! and you know all the persons out there who wonder about how you said make peace but yet you said at times there will be no peace in certain relationships…..

 

Give us understanding we pray (Father) In Jesus’ name. and we thank you for it too. 

 I ask you Father help us to undertand your word better, and how to apply it in everyday life! IN Jesus’ name! -amen

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“It’s not all about you!” What to say to some who never seem to get enough (attention) or whatever else ……..

Ever had one of those days? Someone you are trying to help (or encourage) just never seems to get enough? Reminds you of kids (at times). I compared it to geese (so long ago) as I was feeding some geese, and as I ran out of bread, (which I now understand you should not feed them bread) but in any case they surrounded me, got closer and closer, and one even tried to bite my face!

RESCUE POSTER call for help

The bible compares a fool and his folly, to being met by a bear robbed of her cubs. 

Proverbs 17:12 Let a bear robbed of her whelps meet a man, rather than a fool in his folly.”  
MAYBE THE BEST THING is to say nothing at all. 
Honestly, a person who will not listen to reason, who does not care what God (or anybody else) thinks, Who has decided they are wise or right in their own opinion, My bible says also “there is more hope for a fool, than for him.” 
This is not a person you should be taking advice from, or following. It’s not a person who should be in charge of you, or one you should even submit to. Even Abigail (in the bible) though she did it in a reverent way, went to meet King David and obey God, even though her husband was foolish, and was going to bring trouble upon the whole family. King David was so impressed, he married the woman.
Proverbs 26:12 “Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope for a fool than for him.”
It’s a snare to be caught in the snare of a fool’s words or a fool’s folly.  Consider these words from Jesus who WAS before Proverbs was even written: They are words penned by the Holy Spirit to God’s servant upon this earth: 
“Proverbs 6:5 Deliver yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, And like a bird from the hand of the fowler. “
You can be snared by words, or promises you should not have made.
Another passage of the bible says to free ourselves from vows, that should never have been made. See, we need to look at the whole (entire) bible not just the parts we want to read Or hear right now. The whole Bible. All of it.
Jesus IS His word! 
The more we know of his word, the better we will know him. The Better we know him, the better he knows us and has fellowship with us. 
                   So love? Yes! Being snared by those who don’t love God? NO! 
Did you see anyone allowed to take Jesus Down from who he was to please them or their folly? NO WAY No how! 
We should not do it either. Father God please keep us in your wisdom! And Grace!
Amen
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Know it alls & One-uppers! Do we know how to listen? (Grace to Grow)

know-it-allBoy I tell ya……….OH Good morning by the way! 

Know it alls…..one uppers…….Or People who just have to be the center of attention, or who always have to be “right.” Ever met anyone like this? You just get the feeling they are not listening, but chomping at the bit, waiting for their turn to talk. 

I’ve had some experience with being a talk -a-holic. I can remember some comments my husband has made to me such as “You’ve been talking for an hour straight, without taking a breath” (this was a few years ago) Or sometimes I would stop on my own and say, “I’ve been hogging the conversation,” To which he would reply “Help! I”m talking and I can’t shut up!” (making fun of me!). When we first got together, 14 years ago now, I was just in desperate need to be “in control” Of the conversation at all times. 

My goal? Well, sometimes it was to get him to understand me (which is about me) or to get him to see it my way (also about me) to get him to agree with me (about me again!) OR sometimes to straighten him out! How easily our desire to help, can easily turn into an ego trip. I have, in the past found myself saying “WELL, if they aren’t going to listen to me then………They can just go their own way!” (Crossing my arms, thinking I won’t put them out unless they are on fire!) All signs of immaturity by the way. 

But, there is the art of listening, too. You know, years ago, When I first found out I’d been taught some things wrong (even about what it says in my bible) I kind of decided to not listen, and I shut people out in an effort to guard my heart. It does say in the bible to guard our hearts, but it is also possible to get to a point where, we can retain what we believe, and still listen to what others have to say about a matter. 

Being hyper-vigilant can be extreme. We can calmly say; “I don’t agree.” however there is a problem when, the other person chooses not to respect what we believe. I have noticed, especially in politics, many who believe in freedom to believe as they wish (so they say) are very hypocritical, attacking and slamming others for THEIR beliefs, while at the same time maintaining that “others’ shall not shout them down or “ram’ their beliefs down their throats. WE are seeing those who say “I don’t want to hear that christian stuff” while they attempt to force others to believe (how they believe) and even try to make laws to enforce it. So, before I can remove a speck out of someone’s eye, first I have to get the log out of my own eye. Many believe it’s a compromise to listen to the views of others……….

But that is not so. I dare say, Jesus actually listened to some input from others. One was the day he said to a woman wanting healing “It’s not good to give the children’s bread to dogs” (Gentiles were compared to dogs you see) and SHE said “even the dogs get the crumbs from the master’s table! “How great is your faith” He said, and healed her!

You know I can’t think of a case, where someone in the bible marched up to Jesus and said “how dare you preach that” Or correcting him in front of others. Unless of course it was the Pharisees, who used scripture to tell him how “wrong he was” to heal on the Sabbath, or tried to trick him, bait him, or goad him into giving up. He finally told them off, in no uncertain terms……”BROOD OF VIPERS” He said. Why? I think it’s because he needed to drive off the crows, who were trying to steal the precious seeds of truth and wisdom he was planting. We have some truth seekers, truth lovers, and wise Spirit filled people in this world, but friends? What do we do about the crows? Especially crows who think they have the right to run up and snatch the seed before it’s even sown? 

HMMM ……..are you helping the cause of Christ? Or coming against it? Something to think about. And is it love to let the crows gobble up the seed? “Father help me to listen more, learn more, and be quiet before you. “teach me to listen” Open the eyes of my heart I pray. Heal me of all insecurities that make me act up. Help me grow! Father please help me be a lover of truth! I ask you sincerely, in any areas where I think I know the truth if I am wrong? Please uproot those lies, Grant me thy truth I pray! Grant me wisdom! In Jesus’ holy awesome and mighty name. Amen 

 

Laura Grace, Author, minister, and your friend Laura Grace

 

 

 

 

 

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Steam pressure! Very important to let it out! Somehow- Someway…….& it’s OK!

steam.jpgGood afternoon! 

Once upon a time I helped with a boiler………so I learned all about them. My husband does that now. If the steam was not Released (DAILY) The thing would start blowing up pipes, and stuff would start breaking! Steam. It had to go somewhere, so there was no permanent damage to the pipes……

Holding things in………(not good for you) ……..

I”ve had a busy week. Very busy. Full blast running busy! But I am not too busy to share this little insight with you.  Listen, we all have to blow off steam sometimes. Vent. Say what is truly bugging us …….

We all need great friends we can confide in. Not to gossip, not to attack or hurt anyone but, sometimes we just need to vent. You know many times when I am frustrated about a situation, if I can just say it out loud it helps me “sort out” what the real problem is! 

There is a scripture it says “RID YOURSELF OF ANGER” I used to cry out to God years ago so Where does it go and how do I rid myself of it Father?  Unless you are going to go crazy or have to get drunk, stoned, or kill someone, sooner or later, we all have days we need to say WHY? Why does it go this way? How come? what for? Why did they DO THAT ????????? (we cry) …..

We don’t need to have a public flogging on FB toward our enemies no, but we don’t just fold our hands and act like everything is groovy when it isn’t! Biggest piece of advice I can give you you can rant and rave (and cry and moan) and have your little fit but when it’s all over remember this “ACCEPT WHAT”  You can’t change COURAGE TO DO what you can PRAY FOR WISDOM to know the difference! Great Advice! 

Pray for people yes but at times? I go to God I do…and say LORD WHY? WHY Do they have to do this? .”OH LORD I am frustrated” Well maybe he is too! And agrees with you! But remember this too, we all have days we like to not feel so alone, to just know someone cares about our plight ……and says yeah man that was hard ……

Good for you for getting through it! And I will pray it gets better! There is a big difference between VENTING and Letting off steam (so the pipes don’t break) and living a life of complaining. So Don’t get mixed up about it. I know I once did…...

I so value those I can talk to. who just stay quiet, pray or have some empathy …..

but sometimes….it’s a very hard thing to find……

So where does anger go (into the air, just like steam) and then you keep on moving! 

CHOO CHOO CHOO (even trains let off steam) 

 

Love you lots! Laura Grace