Relationships! Introduction: By Laura Grace Should I give up, shut up, put up my dukes?
Relationships are one of the hardest things we will ever contend with in this life. Frankly Not a subject I have wanted to contend with OR address. Even in my book Grace to Grow, I talked about it being hard. but I didn’t say a whole lot about it. That’s because it’s not cut and dry. Every relationship is different. There are variations (Within) and while we all know there are basic principles in the word of God how do we know Which Principle to apply?
I’m going to address hard truths, talk about real situations, and share with you what God
has taught me thus far about relationships……..
What about giving up? Did I fail that person? How do I know? How do I get closure when they won’t talk to me anymore?
How do I love them- yet avoid the drama? AS we begin……Let’s Ponder Matthew in chapter 5 where Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers” …….(Matthew 5:9) and
explore how we make peace (in various ways) as we are BECOMING children of God.
Yes, I said becoming. (You’re being formed and shaped here, into his image!) Amen
“Father please, be with me as I do this series and I know you will be. Allow me to share from your heart to theirs “what works” and what does not work! For you already know! and you know all the persons out there who wonder about how you said make peace but yet you said at times there will be no peace in certain relationships…..
Give us understanding we pray (Father) In Jesus’ name. and we thank you for it too.
I ask you Father help us to undertand your word better, and how to apply it in everyday life! IN Jesus’ name! -amen
How many times have you heard those words? Never surrender! “Don’t give up” “Hang on Baby ” or as they said in the 70’s “Hang in there! Things will get better!”
The truth is often they don’t (not just because we said they will) at least not in OUR timing. I have to remind myself at times Abraham waited a lot of years for that “one son” and he didn’t live to see the thousands of heirs he had (after his death) Or millions ……
In Genesis 22:17 The promise to him was his descendants would be more than the sands in the sea. That’s a lot of descendants! Then we have this keeper in Hebrews to think on:
“Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise” –Hebrews 10:35-36 NKJV
The Will of God? What is that? Well it depends. For you it may be patience, perseverance-or doing one more thing, waiting one more day, Or just doing what God says when you do not FEEL LIKE IT anymore. I can tell you the will of God is to NOT draw back toward death. When you feel like giving up FIGHT HARDER! Get Mad (at the devil) and say “BACK OFF satan I belong to Jesus Christ! HE WILL DEFEND ME! amen!!
Yes, we all get tempted to give up. Don’t let those ministers fool you! They can’t say it or we’d lose confidence IN THEM. Ministers of God cannot afford to show how scared they are or how frail they feel (very often) Or they would not be the rock or pillar of strength we need them to be. Somebody has to stand up like Moses and say “SEE TODAY HOW GOD DELIVERS THEE!” Someone has to say:
“Things are going to be just fine God is with us” We Have to! (Why?) Because that’s what being a light truly means…..We can’t give up! We must fight! THERE HAS been Times I felt I could not go on anymore. One of my prayers at those times was this:
“I can hardly go on Father I am overhwlemed right now. “I feel like giving up” and then I would say “but If all I have left is the strength to tell you with my mouth “I trust in you” That’s what I will do. I tell you Father I trust in you and satan I tell you GOD IS With Me”
Right now do what you can! Give it all you’ve got! Don’t give up!
Abraham Didn’t! He did not waiver he trusted God! And that’s all he had to do to secure the promise. -Never Give up Never surrender. It’s not over!
God is not “in Control.” He rules and reigns, which is a totally different thing. If He was “in control” Adam and Eve would not have had a choice, to obey or disobey. If He was “in Control” Noah’s obedience to build the ark would not have been credited to him as obedience. God (who is in control?) simply “made him do it.”
If God was in Control, it would mean he is unjust. According to that theory, he is picking and choosing who he will bless and not bless. He is deciding who will be saved or not saved. He just goes by his whims, because he is God. That’s superstition, not the truth.
He can guide us, but only based on the decisions we have already made in our heart. If we have decided we will do it God’s way (not matter how bad it hurts) Then he can guide us, to where we are supposed to be going next. That guidance will be based on God’s wisdom, and what is ultimately best, for us.
I see being guided by God’s Spirit is a lot like how a remote-control car works. There is an inner mechanism, which responds to the person guiding the car with this other device.
If the connection is broken, there will be no guidance, the car will just sit there. If we are not guided, maybe it’s time to ask if the connection is broken.
We may need to allow God to put something IN US Before he has something to work with day by day, In His Guidance, of us. That’s why we study, and pray. You are not some special exception to this rule.
God responds to prayer, which gives him access (to rule and reign) over the situation. He would not tell us prayer is so important, and then turn around and say, “I’m in control.” That doesn’t even make any sense.
He Rules and Reigns. now, he may want obedience before the request gets answered. He may say “Put mud in your eye,” Or “Go study this passage” Or “go to this church” or “Go see this person” (As that too, is guidance.) WE choose. Yes/No.
If God were in control (of everything) there would be no reason to participate, no reason to pray, have faith, or even obey. There would be no reason for rewards in heaven, and the reaping what you sow concept would all be based on God’s whims, and not your own decisions.
The idea that “God is in Control” probably came out of frustration, for someone who wondered why things went as they did. “I was having faith,” they said, and “things went badly.” “What happened?”
Someone told them well, “God is in control” and it’s up to him, for he is God!
Was God “In conrol” when Annanias and Saphirra decided to lie (and listen to to the devil rather than God?) Books of Acts, chapter 5. No, they made a decision.
It reminds me of the parent who says; “Because I said so!” To a child who is asking why they must do a thing (they do not wish to do.) God is willing to give us understanding. He may make us wait for it, until we are capable of understanding or ready to understand, as he did say, “I have many things to tell you but you cannot bear to hear them now.” Sometimes we are just not ready, or prepared to hear the truths, which he wants to get across.
Especially in cases where we may find out, “we’ve doing it wrong all these years.” That my friend, is something we need to brace ourselves for, before we’ll be ready to hear it. “The Lord Reigns!” Very different from “In control.” K?
-Laura Grace, Author grace to Grow, Grace to Grow, the Study Guide. Peace!
If you jump to conclusions, leap before you look or listen (in speaking to someone) or make someone feel more scared than they already were before they spoke to you, chances are they won’t confide in you again. Being trusted with the confidences and problems of others is a Holy keep.
Don’t scold a wounded heart. A wise person is prayerful about how they approach a situation. How do I know this? I’ve messed up. I’ve had people mess me up too.
“Please Father make us trustworthy. In Jesus’ name.
Help us know when to speak, when to be silent, and what to say.” Amen
Grace to the Rescue has been re published. This is a litle story about not giving up.
Back in 2003 or close to it, I wrote a booklet called out of darkness, a testimony of Grace. I still have some copies around here, somewhere. It was a shorter version of Grace to the rescue, but more detailed, and less refined. I sent it to a gal in the UK who is still my friend to this day. Her name is Lorna.
I got a lot of bad looks, told I was treading in dangerous waters when I mentioned God actually was okay with me getting divorced from a 16 year marraige of lies, abuse, hell and spending all my time trying to shelter and protect my children from all the hazards that went with it. Someone who has not lived in total dysfunction has no idea. No clue. We have to inform them. The system fails most of these people, and the church usually says stay put. I have noticed just in the last couple of years FINALLY some people who have been forced to “PUT ASUNDER” a marraige that is NOT God’s will for them are getting some Grace (ad a voice).
On top of this, I also had a bad publisher, there were grammarical errors in my book, and the plight goes on and on. Grace to the Rescue having to be pulled from the shelves twice now sits in the hand of almighty God, awaiting his hand to propel it forward.
And I believe he will do just that.
I saw years ago that Jesus came to set those at liberty who are bruised and battered and began to question him about whether I was supposed to stay and take more battering. Oh I had faith. I loved him and when I didn’t I prayed for more love. I’m re married now and find that even a lot of pastors who’ve been divorced never say so, (for fear of the reprocussions that follow) they are treated as if they are IN SIN instead of redeemed from a situation that never should have happened.
Labelling divorced people is like saying all those who commit suicide go to hell. sorry but YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT! And how dare you take the word of God and carelessly use it to beat up people who are already beat up and about to go under.
The gospel still is and always was GOOD NEWS not bad news. Jesus came to free ALL WHO ARE oppressed from the devil not just those who chose the right path at the beginning of their lives. If you’ve had a great life from the beginning I’m happy for you!
We (church) need to learn how to minister to the broken hearted and those captive to sin and dyfunction and abuse. We need to learn to not just get out our cookie cutter and try to “cut them” into a christian cookie so to speak.
I hope my book helps with that by shedding some light on just how hard this process can be for some who find themselves trapped in situations that are embarrassing, immerse us in a sense of shame and condemnation, and how yes sometimes people marry wrong while they are busy being a prodigal like I was. Dont’ just “forgive me” for getting a divorce. Understand it really did need to happen.
Rejoice with me in my restoration, and take your red letter and pin it to the devil, because he’s the one that messed me up.
Proverbs 29:18 says (KJV) without a vision the people perish. IN the NKJV it says “cast off restraint) and this because they have no revelation.
They are both true, but the wording is just a bit different.
Then we have this passage: