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Grief and Pain (no, you are not stupid).

tears and sorrow

Having Grief and Pain (You’re not stupid!) 
One thing I’ve not been known to ever do, is to call people’s 
feelings stupid (or dumb, or even wrong). I’ve learned some 
times the hard way our feelings should not dominate us, but 
at the same time, I know we have them. Grief comes in many 
forms, and sometimes people who can’t cry get very angry 
instead. Maybe they won’t cry because someone said it’s 
stupid, or maybe because it embarrasses them. 
You won’t catch me telling you there are right or wrong things 
to grieve about either. These ideas such as “There are starving
children somewhere” so be grateful for your plate of liver” or 
platitudes such as: “Well at least you are alive, or if one of your
children died, you still have the other” do not really help people 
feel better. Do they? Not very often. I would say mostly, not. 
People hire therapists in part, because they fear telling friends, 
family, and yes even pastors at times, their deepest thoughts 
and fears. They have grief and want to get over it. Sometimes 
the grief “seems to be” over something stupid. The fear that 
someone will call them stupid, makes them want to hide. 
“I AM SO STUPID!” (I have said that myself) When I am very 
frustrated for giving that person another chance (and they did 
that to me again!) Or I dared to dream, and now I’m disappointed
(again for the 14th time, or even the 100th time). 
I should never say that but, I have. Why? Why do we chastize our
selves like that? 
#1 We see others getting over it, so we think we are failures
#2 We think our grief is “stupid” to begin with. (not important). 
#3 We don’t understand where this grief is coming from or even how to stop it. 
Therapy sometimes goes too far in perpetuating our grief, (getting 
us to feel sorry for ourselves, which can lead to depression) 
God tells us to “be of good cheer” but sometimes, we can’t. We 
are sad. We need to cry. It’s called grieving. 
King David danced, but he also wept about sin and disappointment. 
Jeremiah wept over the sins of God’s people. 
Jonah got depressed because God did not destroy Ninevah after he 
delivered a word that it would be destroyed. Job got depressed too. 
I believe part of soul-healing is talking about it. Whether you talk to 
God about it, or someone else. Ministers like TD Jakes talk about their
soul being torn, ripped apart, dreams going out the window, and feeling
like God didn’t care (for awhile) about their pain. This is why people love
to read their stories. They can relate. 
We need teachers and we need prophets, but we need pastors too. 
Pastors tend to be nurturing people. They love and tend to the sheep. 
If they are not this way, perhaps they should not have been pastors. 
But in the world of men, There are not any paying postions for a lot 
of the other ministries (which is sad). They are forced to ask for money
continually, because nobody offers them a home, or a paycheck. 
Those people have dreams too (you see) And it’s a heart to reach the
lost, the hurting, the broken, and the dying. They can’t get there without
someone’s help. I just put one of my dreams on the Altar, because unless
God sends a way to provide for it, I just can’t do it anymore. 
It’s called “Authoring books” to reach the hurting. I can’t afford what it costs anymore, so I have to stop. My paychecks are like .01 (last quarter) for this endeavor. I’ve been doing it for 7 years now, and it pays nothing. And it’s okay but it still hurts to have dreams come to an end. I have to stop now. Until God provides for it. If he doesn’t, oh well! I will still love him just the same. 
And no I don’t want sympathy- but I have some grief right now. God will 
surely bring me out of it too. He always does! He is faithful! I have faced many disappointments in my life. And I will live through this one, too. 
As a minister and a child of God I find that “letting go” is one of the most 
painful things I have ever experienced. Letting go of what you know is bad
is hard, but letting go of something you thought was good is even harder. 
I am reminded of the following scripture in regardes to self-preservation. 
When you are done grieving, consider putting it all in God’s hands. 
We really are better off to put our lives in the Lord’s hands and say “Thy will 
be done, thy kingdom come, on earth, as it is in heaven.” Amen. 
Today is November 1. Happy Author’s day. I just layed my 7 year Journey 
of writing books at the Lord’s feet. 
Matthew 16:25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake, will find it.  Peace out (for now) Laura Grace 
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Relationships! no more drama, not even for your mama! by Laura Grace

Relationships! Introduction: By Laura Grace Should I give up, shut up, put up my dukes? 

Relationships are one of the hardest things we will ever contend with in this life. Frankly Not a subject I have wanted to contend with OR address. Even in my book Grace to Grow, I talked about it being hard. but I didn’t say a whole lot about it. That’s because it’s not cut and dry. Every relationship is different. There are variations (Within) and while we all know there are basic principles in the word of God how do we know Which Principle to apply?

I’m going to address hard truths, talk about real situations, and share with you what God 
has taught me thus far about relationships……..

What about giving up? Did I fail that person? How do I know? How do I get closure when they won’t talk to me anymore?

How do I love them- yet avoid the drama? AS we begin……Let’s Ponder Matthew in chapter 5 where Jesus said “Blessed are the peacemakers” …….(Matthew 5:9) and 
explore how we make peace (in various ways) as we are BECOMING children of God.

Yes, I said becoming. (You’re being formed and shaped here, into his image!) Amen

“Father please, be with me as I do this series and I know you will be. Allow me to share from your heart to theirs “what works” and what does not work! For you already know! and you know all the persons out there who wonder about how you said make peace but yet you said at times there will be no peace in certain relationships…..

 

Give us understanding we pray (Father) In Jesus’ name. and we thank you for it too. 

 I ask you Father help us to undertand your word better, and how to apply it in everyday life! IN Jesus’ name! -amen

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Love hurts….but it’s the only way to live…..by Laura Grace

hurt and pain         How do you handle hurt and pain? Lash back? Teach them a lesson? Give them a “what for?” 

There are times (not often) in my life it just all adds up. The person you spent hours of time helping Listening, taking them somewhere, anywhere so they could feel better. You layed aside your plans for them, then they write you off and forget you because of the 101th time you didn’t show up, or say what they wanted you to say. 

There’s the people who take and take and skip away to the next blessing, or those who ask you to turn yourself inside out to be there for them, but won’t bend an inch to be there for you because hey, they have standards! Yes I’ve seen many blessings in my life but let’s face it, in some areas, we may never seem to reap what we sowed. We sow blessing, they sow hate. We sow love, they see it as weakness, and walk all over the place and stomp on our hearts. Sometimes the love we sow feels like it’s running through a seive, and we watch it go down the drain never to be seen ……again……..

Some people we love and pray for are just obvlious, for years and years and years, that the only outlet they have left us is praying to our heavenly Father on their behalf. They scorn us, make fun of us, have a good time taking out on US their anger and frustration at God (whom they have never known, nor tried to know). and that’s okay because hey we christians are SUPPOSED TO LOVE It’s our Job! Right? 

How well I remember the times I was reminded (if I dared to step out of line) that I was a christian (supposed to love) and they well they……were just unaccountable, ignorant, hurting more than me supposedly. There are those who assume if we are kind to them in the face of their rage or anger, that we just must LIKE being the way we are. 

No. We go home and cry, salty tears that run to our lips like the bitter vinegar Jesus drank on the cross. We cry until it feels like our guts will explode. And we do it because we are in a battle not to hate them back. We are going to win because Jesus is on our side. but let me tell you something: I UNDERSTAND The battle to love. I truly do…

I don’t know why sometimes we are compelled to keep loving people who hurt us all the time. Maybe their heart cry is “Father please don’t give up on me’ so we show up and we don’t give up. I don’t know…..Maybe they are praying for God’s love……

and you were just the vessel to show up and do it. Maybe they weren’t grateful or kind. That’s up to God to deal with, not you.  Only don’t let them destroy you ….beat you ? yes maybe. Take your soul? NO WAY No how! ….Do not let it happen. 

I trust God to show me when to give up on someone, and when not to. when to try and again, and when to stop. it’s not based on my feelings or my personal comfort…….I can tell you that. It’s not based on some doctrine that says I have to take abuse or punishment. BUT THERE ARE TIMES We hurt because someone doesn’t have the sense to see they are hurting us. They have not yet come to their senses. they are captive to the evil one…..

Therefore, It’s a personal Journey. 

I”ve never seen anger heal anyone. I’ve never seen a butt chewing change a person. What changes people is love (if they can RECEIVE IT!!!) …….

IF THEY CAN RECEIVE IT…..

So see maybe if they can’t ……stop trying so hard….and let it go….let them go…..

Until they can receive it…..

and yes your heart will break, as you watch them go…..

and pray when it’s all over, you are still able to love…..it’s the only way 

-Laura Grace-