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Grief and Pain (no, you are not stupid).

tears and sorrow

Having Grief and Pain (You’re not stupid!) 
One thing I’ve not been known to ever do, is to call people’s 
feelings stupid (or dumb, or even wrong). I’ve learned some 
times the hard way our feelings should not dominate us, but 
at the same time, I know we have them. Grief comes in many 
forms, and sometimes people who can’t cry get very angry 
instead. Maybe they won’t cry because someone said it’s 
stupid, or maybe because it embarrasses them. 
You won’t catch me telling you there are right or wrong things 
to grieve about either. These ideas such as “There are starving
children somewhere” so be grateful for your plate of liver” or 
platitudes such as: “Well at least you are alive, or if one of your
children died, you still have the other” do not really help people 
feel better. Do they? Not very often. I would say mostly, not. 
People hire therapists in part, because they fear telling friends, 
family, and yes even pastors at times, their deepest thoughts 
and fears. They have grief and want to get over it. Sometimes 
the grief “seems to be” over something stupid. The fear that 
someone will call them stupid, makes them want to hide. 
“I AM SO STUPID!” (I have said that myself) When I am very 
frustrated for giving that person another chance (and they did 
that to me again!) Or I dared to dream, and now I’m disappointed
(again for the 14th time, or even the 100th time). 
I should never say that but, I have. Why? Why do we chastize our
selves like that? 
#1 We see others getting over it, so we think we are failures
#2 We think our grief is “stupid” to begin with. (not important). 
#3 We don’t understand where this grief is coming from or even how to stop it. 
Therapy sometimes goes too far in perpetuating our grief, (getting 
us to feel sorry for ourselves, which can lead to depression) 
God tells us to “be of good cheer” but sometimes, we can’t. We 
are sad. We need to cry. It’s called grieving. 
King David danced, but he also wept about sin and disappointment. 
Jeremiah wept over the sins of God’s people. 
Jonah got depressed because God did not destroy Ninevah after he 
delivered a word that it would be destroyed. Job got depressed too. 
I believe part of soul-healing is talking about it. Whether you talk to 
God about it, or someone else. Ministers like TD Jakes talk about their
soul being torn, ripped apart, dreams going out the window, and feeling
like God didn’t care (for awhile) about their pain. This is why people love
to read their stories. They can relate. 
We need teachers and we need prophets, but we need pastors too. 
Pastors tend to be nurturing people. They love and tend to the sheep. 
If they are not this way, perhaps they should not have been pastors. 
But in the world of men, There are not any paying postions for a lot 
of the other ministries (which is sad). They are forced to ask for money
continually, because nobody offers them a home, or a paycheck. 
Those people have dreams too (you see) And it’s a heart to reach the
lost, the hurting, the broken, and the dying. They can’t get there without
someone’s help. I just put one of my dreams on the Altar, because unless
God sends a way to provide for it, I just can’t do it anymore. 
It’s called “Authoring books” to reach the hurting. I can’t afford what it costs anymore, so I have to stop. My paychecks are like .01 (last quarter) for this endeavor. I’ve been doing it for 7 years now, and it pays nothing. And it’s okay but it still hurts to have dreams come to an end. I have to stop now. Until God provides for it. If he doesn’t, oh well! I will still love him just the same. 
And no I don’t want sympathy- but I have some grief right now. God will 
surely bring me out of it too. He always does! He is faithful! I have faced many disappointments in my life. And I will live through this one, too. 
As a minister and a child of God I find that “letting go” is one of the most 
painful things I have ever experienced. Letting go of what you know is bad
is hard, but letting go of something you thought was good is even harder. 
I am reminded of the following scripture in regardes to self-preservation. 
When you are done grieving, consider putting it all in God’s hands. 
We really are better off to put our lives in the Lord’s hands and say “Thy will 
be done, thy kingdom come, on earth, as it is in heaven.” Amen. 
Today is November 1. Happy Author’s day. I just layed my 7 year Journey 
of writing books at the Lord’s feet. 
Matthew 16:25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake, will find it.  Peace out (for now) Laura Grace 
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Relationship #2 No Drama “YOU” are you who you want to be?

Relationship 9

Relationships #2 YOU (Is at the core of every relationship.) Are you who you want to be?

“Being Real” is something we hear all the time. You should “be real” (They say). But it’s not defined. What does being real mean to you? Your anger (about social injustice) outrage (over the issues of life) or even grief, pain, sorrow…..(over untold Losses)

That’s not WHO you really are. is it? No. At the core or heart of relationship-is who WE are. If we don’t like ourselves how do we expect others to like us? If we are not at peace with ourselves, how can anyone else be at peace with us?

Can anyone MAKE us happy? (including God?). I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the man at the pool of Bathesda, (in John, chapter 5) where he said “do you want to be made well?”

Mental health is every bit as important (if not more important) than physical health. Many of us were “messed up” in our minds over things that happened throughout our lives. Abuse. Bullying. Social Injustices. And you don’t have to be a minority to experience discrimination, favoritism, and being left out by those ‘Elitists.”

It all hurts, and it all affects us (deeply) in our hearts.

A whole (Healed) Person has a Healed Soul and Mind. Did you notice Jesus dealt with this man’s heart? (and mind?) “Do you want to be well?”

Do you want to be made well? God asked me one time if I wanted Restoration or Compensation! (Wow!) I chose Restoration. Compensation is what you get when you sue someone over what was done to you. Or get “payment” for your loss.

I don’t want compensation. I want restoration! I choose life!

Even in relationships we have to ask this question: “do we want to get along?” (or do we just want to argue?). Do we want to do the work it takes to have a great relationship?

What’s important to us? What matters most? And truly “WHO” do we wish to be? A fighter? Scrapper? Conquerer? Leader of the band? Or do we wish to have our identity forever be “continual victim” because we believe this is our lot in life?

1.Who do you want to be? And why? God really wants to know! Let him know who you would like to be! Then ask “what he wants you to be!” This is relationship at it’s finest. TWO WAY (not one way).

2. Make peace with yourself (However long it takes)

3. Be a friend (to yourself) And receive all God has for you. This will make you a better friend to others…in the long run (and a better spouse, better employeee, and so on and so forth). This means “Being willing to take correction”.

You’d be amazed at the things I’ve said to Jesus. I came to the conclusion years ago…”He already knows” so.I may as well tell him the truth! Trust me, he can handle it. I’ve said things to God that are so shocking I waited for lightning to hit me! But it didn’t! His love enveloped me instead…….(I testify!)

You can’t “offend him” by telling him the truth! I feel like Giving up Father! I have had about enough Father! I need you to show me Father (And let him know what you truly believe you need from him). I will give you a clue however……that when we ask him for what he already wants to give us, it’s likely to happen a lot quicker.

1 John 5:14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (NKJV) Peace! Until Next time, -Laura Grace

encouragement · Enter god's rest · every day people · every life matters · everyday miracles · everyday people doing great things for God · everydaypeople · faith · faithfulness · false hope · fear · fear is a liar · perseverance · Uncategorized

Having every day faith by Laura Grace

faith is substance.jpgEvery day faith ……

You can do great things for God in your everyday life. You can have great faith and apply it to your everyday living, too. This is how God prepares us to minister to others, but if we only do it for ourselves to get better, stronger, and more powerful in him, that’s fine also. Everything does not have to be about ministry or having a great ministry somehow.

My testimony is not how I gave money to some big name minister and then POW all my prayers were answered. I studied the bible to minister yes, but wound up ministering to myself. We had this house we bought, it was too small but the only one available at the time. (detailed in my book Grace to the Rescue). For 11 years i paid on that house and watched the cost of living go up as the wages stayed the same. I watched others lose their homes and cried for them, and still stood strong in believing we would always make the payments. I would say to God “You brought us here you will help us make the payments”

Sometimes it was rough, let me tell you. There were times we looked foolish for keeping that house. We had people tell us we should just give it back to the bank, as we were upside down in it, meaning it’s value was less than what we paid. (This was after 2009)

We made improvements when it seemed futile, and kept going, even though the house was so small we sometimes had trouble being grateful for it. I would pray and say HELP US be Thankful Lord! IN Jesus’ name! 11 years later, we sold the house. God made a way for us to get a bigger house, and it’s all paid for. This was all by faith, and as I said it’s not because I tithed (I believe everything belongs to God not just 10 percent) and it’s not because this big name minister prayed for me, it’s because I kept believing, no matter what. God gave me the direction along with my husband to buy the house. From there i just said ‘you gave us the house, you will provide.” I hope this encourages someone today. I am drawing from that Testimony for a new one now, as I go forward in other faith ventures. Pressing on! With love to you all,

 

Laura Grace

abuse · abused men and women · anger and abuse · big boys don't cry and other lies people teach you · broken people · crying men · emotional healing · emotional healing and grace · emotional storms · encouragement · encouragement today · healing of Pride · hurt leads to pride · hurting in church · Hurting men · hurting people · Jesus weeping · Men don't cry · men having anger · ministry for men · spiritual pain and suffering · Uncategorized · weeping men

“Big Boy’s Don’t Cry” and other injustices we put on men…….(this is important)

This is something that I’ve seen for a long time, and it’s bothered me for a long time, as well. For years I have sought God on the subject of why people do things. I see there is a root cause for things (that happen) And that every action or belief system, whether it’s in our hearts or minds, it all begins with a seed. 

First of all, while men and women may be different (in most cases) the soul is the same. Hearts break, hurts are inflicted, and men are not born with some special immunity to pain. We must know this right? We have to know it! So why the persistence on teaching men they shouldn’t or don’t cry? Why the man up “buck up to the suds” thing that is put on MEN all the time (as if they were born with hearts that can’t be broken?) 

It’s the same reason women get abused or hurt or neglected…..ignorance! Now there is a big difference between Ignorance- and malice. If someone is not informed about something, we can educate them! But here’s the rub. The church goes to the world for answers (in the case of psychology) In most cases. Why? Because there is not a lot out there on the subject of healing the mind (or heart) for our men. And I will tell you something else……..We are TOO busy taking care of the church building and not busy enough taking care of the minds and hearts of the true temples …….WHICH IS US! 

I looked up scripture with one word: Wept. I was amazed how many came up (see below) and I also know Jesus wept. 

I believe when men refuse to cry or are stopped from the grieving process (because of this man up, buck up to the suds thing) They wind up with other issues. Unresolved hurt leads to anger. Have you ever noticed 9 times out of 10 in a hurtful situation men get angry, while women cry? How is anger better than crying? (I ask!) and then we praise them for getting angry (and telling people off) And this leads to self righteous attitudes and pride.

“I’m proud of you honey” for telling off that Person who hurt me (she says or they say) and so now, not only is the man not healed (in his soul) but we have more hurt people- who have been bitten by the dog that was sent to chase them off!  Men? Come on you know better! You KNOW in your heart it’s okay with God if you cry. But society? They tell another story. Instead of listening to me, take a few min and read the scripture below. You will see men who wept. Jesus wept. And not always because someone died. 

Someone dying WHILE THEY LIVE is a reason to weep. Sin is something to weep over as it says in Lamentations “Oh that my eyes were a river of tears…..” (because of the suffering of my people). Weeping is good.

It’s a type of prayer when it’s directed toward God. He “hears our tears” ……so to speak. 

I Hope this helps you somehow. “Big Boys’ Don’t Cry?” It’s a LIE! satan knows mean with open hearts toward God that are capable of tears are powerful in his hands! No wonder he sent such a tremendous lie for the whole world to repeat and believe. -Laura Grace 

Scripture:

 

 

Genesis 33:4

But Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

Genesis 43:30

Now his heart yearned for his brother; so Joseph made haste and sought somewhere to weep. And he went into his chamber and wept there.

Genesis 45:14

Then he fell on his brother Benjamin’s neck and wept, and Benjamin wept on his neck.

Genesis 45:15

Moreover he kissed all his brothers and wept over them, and after that his brothers talked with him.

Genesis 46:29

So Joseph made ready his chariot and went up to Goshen to meet his father Israel; and he presented himself to him, and fell on his neck and wept on his neck a good while.

Genesis 50:1

Then Joseph fell on his father’s face, and wept over him, and kissed him.

Genesis 50:17

‘Thus you shall say to Joseph: “I beg you, please forgive the trespass of your brothers and their sin; for they did evil to you.”’ Now, please, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of your father.” And Joseph wept when they spoke to him.

Numbers 14:1

Israel Refuses to Enter Canaan ] So all the congregation lifted up their voices and cried, and the people wept that night.

Judges 2:4

So it was, when the Angel of the Lord spoke these words to all the children of Israel, that the people lifted up their voices and wept.

.

Judges 20:23

Then the children of Israel went up and wept before the Lord until evening, and asked counsel of the Lord, saying, “Shall I again draw near for battle against the children of my brother Benjamin?” And the Lord said, “Go up against him.”

 

 

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Shhh!! The Stuff Nobody wants to talk about Part 1: Political & Religious Correctness

shh2

shh“Here We Go Sports Fans! The Religiously Correct VS The Rabble Rousers! Going Head to Head…..TONIGHT ON DU U C ! Later the Conservative Giants will take on the young know-it-all-liberals, Stay Tuned!”  Continue reading “Shhh!! The Stuff Nobody wants to talk about Part 1: Political & Religious Correctness”

correction · covenant · deliver me from evil · encouragement · grace to grow · overcoming myself · take the land of me · Uncategorized

Getting the gunk out!

gunk

It’s funny how we all know we should get the Junk (or Gunk) out of our lungs when we are sick, or we need to clean the house (because we can’t see the treasure, for all the clutter) and it’s just so obvious to us, but not always so with our soul realm! 

It’s funny, how everyone thinks it’s awesome when we get physically healthy, but not so interested in becoming spiritually healthy. 

Anger, malice, grudges, un-forgiveness, Pride, smugness, and yes even the vanity of thinking ourselves “oh so wise” in our own opinions…….

All these (and more) rob us of finding our way in Jesus, to see what more he has to teach us today. We all want to graduate, (finally) to say we’ve arrived! With God we never do arrive. Not until we get to heaven. There is always more to learn from him!

And notice I said “from Him.” Come, Follow me, means Follow Him! (not every wind of doctrine that blows my way) 🙂 

OH Father, continually remove the leaven of sin from my life. Help me to share what i do know confidently, while learning still from you, forever and ever, Amen! Help me stay teachable always, even if you give the opportunity to share what is real in my heart. If I ever start becoming a pharisee or even like one, Spank me! Cut me off at the pass! Take me aside and deal with me Father! I pray for your discipline continuously in Jesus’ name. amen. And please Father, remove the gunk and junk from my soul! deliver me From THIS evil, the evil of old hurts, wounds, old grudges. all that JUNK! In Jesus’ name we pray. 

Amen!  -Laura Grace PS; Praying like this, is a great way to love yourself! 🙂 Amen! 

COL 2: 20 “Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations— 21 “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” 22 which all concern things which perish with the using—according to the commandments and doctrines of men? 23 These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.”

encouragement · envy · prideful · Uncategorized

Pride and Envy ..the story of Joseph and a little more insight on Him……

Genesis 37 (the story of Joseph) You know, there is more to this story too (other than Just Jealousy, or envy). They were afraid of him ruling over them……..

“Let’s throw him in a pit” they said, and see what becomes of his dreams……” 

Wow. Talk about a great family! Very loving, and Kind, eh? So Joseph had a vision (and dream) from the Lord, he spoke about it, and his brothers threw him in a pit. Left him to die, didn’t even care if they ever saw him again. Wow. 

And did God punish them for this behavior? Joseph WAS God’s chosen, you know? One would think God would have went after the with a vengeance……

But instead, he shaped Joseph more, watched over Him, Protected him, helped him stay sane. Then his day came ….

Turns out the calling was to serve not to rule over them with an iron fist (as they feared) ……and believe Me Joseph did not mince words when they had to come to him for help either….He said “What you meant for evil” .………..God turned out for Good (Paraphrased) and thus we have, the comparison to Romans Chapter 8 (New Testament). So what I learned from Joseph is #1 Stay Merciful #2 Stay Kind #4 Forgive them #5 Grow anyway and develop in God ……

AND forgive does not mean “you have to forget” ………

And sometimes God’s “vengeance” is not what we think it will be……….

The brothers had to come to him, acknowledge he was chosen…In order to be FED. 

Laura Grace Author, minister, and your companion in the Preaching of the Gospel of Christ