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Grief and Pain (no, you are not stupid).

tears and sorrow

Having Grief and Pain (You’re not stupid!) 
One thing I’ve not been known to ever do, is to call people’s 
feelings stupid (or dumb, or even wrong). I’ve learned some 
times the hard way our feelings should not dominate us, but 
at the same time, I know we have them. Grief comes in many 
forms, and sometimes people who can’t cry get very angry 
instead. Maybe they won’t cry because someone said it’s 
stupid, or maybe because it embarrasses them. 
You won’t catch me telling you there are right or wrong things 
to grieve about either. These ideas such as “There are starving
children somewhere” so be grateful for your plate of liver” or 
platitudes such as: “Well at least you are alive, or if one of your
children died, you still have the other” do not really help people 
feel better. Do they? Not very often. I would say mostly, not. 
People hire therapists in part, because they fear telling friends, 
family, and yes even pastors at times, their deepest thoughts 
and fears. They have grief and want to get over it. Sometimes 
the grief “seems to be” over something stupid. The fear that 
someone will call them stupid, makes them want to hide. 
“I AM SO STUPID!” (I have said that myself) When I am very 
frustrated for giving that person another chance (and they did 
that to me again!) Or I dared to dream, and now I’m disappointed
(again for the 14th time, or even the 100th time). 
I should never say that but, I have. Why? Why do we chastize our
selves like that? 
#1 We see others getting over it, so we think we are failures
#2 We think our grief is “stupid” to begin with. (not important). 
#3 We don’t understand where this grief is coming from or even how to stop it. 
Therapy sometimes goes too far in perpetuating our grief, (getting 
us to feel sorry for ourselves, which can lead to depression) 
God tells us to “be of good cheer” but sometimes, we can’t. We 
are sad. We need to cry. It’s called grieving. 
King David danced, but he also wept about sin and disappointment. 
Jeremiah wept over the sins of God’s people. 
Jonah got depressed because God did not destroy Ninevah after he 
delivered a word that it would be destroyed. Job got depressed too. 
I believe part of soul-healing is talking about it. Whether you talk to 
God about it, or someone else. Ministers like TD Jakes talk about their
soul being torn, ripped apart, dreams going out the window, and feeling
like God didn’t care (for awhile) about their pain. This is why people love
to read their stories. They can relate. 
We need teachers and we need prophets, but we need pastors too. 
Pastors tend to be nurturing people. They love and tend to the sheep. 
If they are not this way, perhaps they should not have been pastors. 
But in the world of men, There are not any paying postions for a lot 
of the other ministries (which is sad). They are forced to ask for money
continually, because nobody offers them a home, or a paycheck. 
Those people have dreams too (you see) And it’s a heart to reach the
lost, the hurting, the broken, and the dying. They can’t get there without
someone’s help. I just put one of my dreams on the Altar, because unless
God sends a way to provide for it, I just can’t do it anymore. 
It’s called “Authoring books” to reach the hurting. I can’t afford what it costs anymore, so I have to stop. My paychecks are like .01 (last quarter) for this endeavor. I’ve been doing it for 7 years now, and it pays nothing. And it’s okay but it still hurts to have dreams come to an end. I have to stop now. Until God provides for it. If he doesn’t, oh well! I will still love him just the same. 
And no I don’t want sympathy- but I have some grief right now. God will 
surely bring me out of it too. He always does! He is faithful! I have faced many disappointments in my life. And I will live through this one, too. 
As a minister and a child of God I find that “letting go” is one of the most 
painful things I have ever experienced. Letting go of what you know is bad
is hard, but letting go of something you thought was good is even harder. 
I am reminded of the following scripture in regardes to self-preservation. 
When you are done grieving, consider putting it all in God’s hands. 
We really are better off to put our lives in the Lord’s hands and say “Thy will 
be done, thy kingdom come, on earth, as it is in heaven.” Amen. 
Today is November 1. Happy Author’s day. I just layed my 7 year Journey 
of writing books at the Lord’s feet. 
Matthew 16:25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake, will find it.  Peace out (for now) Laura Grace 
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Relationship #2 No Drama “YOU” are you who you want to be?

Relationship 9

Relationships #2 YOU (Is at the core of every relationship.) Are you who you want to be?

“Being Real” is something we hear all the time. You should “be real” (They say). But it’s not defined. What does being real mean to you? Your anger (about social injustice) outrage (over the issues of life) or even grief, pain, sorrow…..(over untold Losses)

That’s not WHO you really are. is it? No. At the core or heart of relationship-is who WE are. If we don’t like ourselves how do we expect others to like us? If we are not at peace with ourselves, how can anyone else be at peace with us?

Can anyone MAKE us happy? (including God?). I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the man at the pool of Bathesda, (in John, chapter 5) where he said “do you want to be made well?”

Mental health is every bit as important (if not more important) than physical health. Many of us were “messed up” in our minds over things that happened throughout our lives. Abuse. Bullying. Social Injustices. And you don’t have to be a minority to experience discrimination, favoritism, and being left out by those ‘Elitists.”

It all hurts, and it all affects us (deeply) in our hearts.

A whole (Healed) Person has a Healed Soul and Mind. Did you notice Jesus dealt with this man’s heart? (and mind?) “Do you want to be well?”

Do you want to be made well? God asked me one time if I wanted Restoration or Compensation! (Wow!) I chose Restoration. Compensation is what you get when you sue someone over what was done to you. Or get “payment” for your loss.

I don’t want compensation. I want restoration! I choose life!

Even in relationships we have to ask this question: “do we want to get along?” (or do we just want to argue?). Do we want to do the work it takes to have a great relationship?

What’s important to us? What matters most? And truly “WHO” do we wish to be? A fighter? Scrapper? Conquerer? Leader of the band? Or do we wish to have our identity forever be “continual victim” because we believe this is our lot in life?

1.Who do you want to be? And why? God really wants to know! Let him know who you would like to be! Then ask “what he wants you to be!” This is relationship at it’s finest. TWO WAY (not one way).

2. Make peace with yourself (However long it takes)

3. Be a friend (to yourself) And receive all God has for you. This will make you a better friend to others…in the long run (and a better spouse, better employeee, and so on and so forth). This means “Being willing to take correction”.

You’d be amazed at the things I’ve said to Jesus. I came to the conclusion years ago…”He already knows” so.I may as well tell him the truth! Trust me, he can handle it. I’ve said things to God that are so shocking I waited for lightning to hit me! But it didn’t! His love enveloped me instead…….(I testify!)

You can’t “offend him” by telling him the truth! I feel like Giving up Father! I have had about enough Father! I need you to show me Father (And let him know what you truly believe you need from him). I will give you a clue however……that when we ask him for what he already wants to give us, it’s likely to happen a lot quicker.

1 John 5:14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (NKJV) Peace! Until Next time, -Laura Grace

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What Truly is Adultery toward God? The Fiery book of James: Letting the Fire of God purify your heart (and mind)

105_1354.JPG How well I remember the first time I heard the word: “World-ly.” It was from a congregation member in an independent pentecostal style church, and they were referring to watching television. ‘Friendship with the world is hatred toward God, ” they declared to me with much confidence. “It’s in the book of James,” they said. 

SO I went home and read the book of James. I have to say I didn’t much care for James (my brother in the Lord by the way) When I first read his book. I thought, “Wow,” and was stunned by these words; “Adulterers and Adultesses! Don’t you know friendship with the world is emnity (hatred) toward God? Wow. Wrecked all my love theories in a big fat hurry! James 3 and 4, preface to 5 where the solution is given, without a lot of fanfare. It wrecked my pride, right then. See I was faithful to someone who wasn’t (toward me) and I had serious pride about it too. 

I wasn’t too happy with James that day, for causing me to see how Adulterous I was, but once I had read the words, I could not possibly “Un-read” them either. 

I remember when I heard television watching, listening to (worldly) music, smoking, eating too much, and even talking to those who are not preaching the bible every day of their lives was considered to be “worldiness.” I wanted you to know where this doctrine came from. It came from someone who loved the bible, but didn’t study it too well. They saw something on the pages (of their beloved bible) and ran with it. 

What is the cure to this (adulterous) Worldiness James is talking about? Well he tells you in his next words, “Draw near to God,” He says (James 4:8) “Purify your heart” (oh I just thought of Matthew 5, blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall (see God) Oh maybe this is the cure for blindness, eh? Purify my heart? What does that mean? 

So I asked God about it (over and over again) in my personal friendship time with Him. For if he is my friend, he is willing to show me, right? I would think so! 

OH here’s the answer: “He gives us more Grace.” More Grace? More unmerrited favor when we are so messed up? How could it be, I wondered? 

James mentions weeping (over our own sing) getting humble, enduring, and patiently waiting for God to do the work (in us) and also “admitting” to others we have faults. 

He says nothing about going on witch hunts to find people we think are worldly and nailing them to the wall. Nothing about being all puffed up and smug about our “lack of worldliness,” And nothing about Judging others (for being so messed up). Furthermore He (like his brother Jesus) Just said we are adulterers and adultresses JUST for loving the world (or any part of it) More than we love God. WOW. 

So, there we go. No more judging others for what YOU consider to be worldly or the worst sin, eh? Get your eyes on yourself (and your relationship with God). It’s the only way. The only way! And now you know why I don’t easily submit to the judgment of others. Let God be the Judge! Let (the words) of man fall to the ground, and let every Word of God stand true! I love James (now) Why? I Prayed I would! And God answered me! Because this is the types of prayers HE REALLY LOVES TO ANSWER! “Father change my heart, make me more like you……Help me love what you love, and turn from what you hate. Amen” 

 

Your sister, lover of James, lover of God and lover of truth in God’s Spirit, 

As Christ is formed in you ……(Let it begin) God’s peace (and Mercy) to you all…….

 

Laura Grace 

 

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The silent cries of an anguished heart………

rescue meDid you know it’s super important to let God have your tears? Your Pain? Your disappointment? oh you don’t have to. You can drink, do some drugs, go on a wild rampage, if you choose to do so you could even kill someone (go to prison) Whatever you like! Shocking, isn’t it? YOU CAN do whatever you wish! Who’s going to stop you? 

That’s the scary part. (Free will!) Free will scares me more than anything, especiallyl my own. You probably already figured out we live in a world where more and more people are saying “I can do what I want, be what I want” get out of my my way!” People hurt us, let us down, reject us, ignore us, take things out on us, 

And- all kinds of things happen (every day) There is no cut and dried solution. Yes I know what the bible says “Love suffers long” (How long?) Love is patient and kind (but I don’t feel like loving today!) I am tired (the heart screams) I need a harvest! I can’t take anymore! The demands are constant! It never ends! We wear masks because nobody wants to hear it. SO we put on a brave face and march forward, doing the best we can (with a brave face, and the heart screaming!) 

Finally by the grace of God we find a friend, a true friend we can confide in. They understand. Our hearts cry with relief. Finally, someone understands me! Maybe it’s because they have walked that path we are walking right now, or maybe it’s because they prepared their heart to minister in THAT particular area…..

But later on……(much later) we find out they can’t handle this other thing we are going through, so they lash out at us, and don’t know what to say…….and the magic is gone, so to speak. It happens to all of us (if we are honest) 

Sometimes Life on planet earth throws so much at us (one thing after another) It staggers the mind, rips at the heart, and leaves us all in pieces. We don’t understand what people are going through all the time no matter how much we THINK we know the answers. We don’t know if that one more thing was almost the end of them. They don’t always know one more thing was almost the end of us…….

There is only one person I know I can always depend on. God. Father God. Abba Father. I know those who think I’m some headhunter for Jesus do not understand this either. All I can hope is after he’s picked me up for the 1000th’ time and breathed his life into me once again, that I will someday run into to someone, somewhere I can share how he helped me…….and in turn, they too can be helped. 

For me, this is life worth living. Receiving from him and breathing his life onto others ……Life is short “I want to live it well” as the song says…….

SONG HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ_UZMYp3mI

Which means I don’t have time to stay angry, or mourn too long, or wallow around in my troubles. I don’t have time to hold grudges, or wonder why that person did what they did. I just have to move on, and follow jesus …..

And here is what I have to say to you now. HE WILL HEAL YOU SO YOU CAN GO FORWARD WITH HIM! He WILL DELIVER YOU FROM ANYTHING THAT KEEPS YOU FROM HIM! Trust me when I say he didn’t die a bloody death to see you LEFT OUT of his Kingdom! He will break you out, break you free and make a way for you TO FOLLOW HIM! To the ends of the earth and wherever he takes you. 

I can say this because I’ve lived it. And yes I know about all those silent screams that say WHY WHY WHY WHY God WHY did this or that have to happen? Well somtimes it’s just free will. God cries over those who run away from him too. God hates it when they hurt you too.  Yes he wants to fix the misunderstandings but sometimes there is not time for it, or someone isn’t ready to hear what they need to hear (Yet) So ….Let it go, let him Heal (your heart) give him all the pieces…

and march on. “Father if you help one person go foward today because of this message I praise you” I really praise you” to the one reading this heal their heart bind up their wounds and let them go free today Father” IN Jesus’ name I pray. amen Laura Grace Author, grace to the rescue and others available on Amazon 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.”