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Relationships, No More Drama, not even for your Mama! #4 Assumptions …..

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Who I DON”T want to be (and how I found out). by Laura Grace

I’m going to write this before I change my mind! I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share about relationships a number of times….and I knew it would mean confessing mistakes I have made……….

So Years ago my husband tells me “his ex” used to buy a lot of food and not use it. I heard that, made a note of it, and make every attempt Not to be that way. Years go by, one day he notices I threw something out without using it and makes a comment “Did that go bad already, we didn’t even use it?” ….

Instantly (because I’m tired and had a hard day) I assume he is saying I’m like his ex. “That fast!” Hair trigger moment. “I’ve been busy!!” I snap- (and start listing what I had to do all day BECAUSE I assume he needs to know (because he doesn’t keep track of all my jobs, only what food is being tossed out!) “Okay Okay” He said it was just an observation I wasn’t attacking you!” (and looks all disgusted like I am a hila monster on fire!) I react to THAT next it goes into my mind “Gee wiz can’t I have a bad day?”

Now I’m bent! (and don’t even know why!) And see, all this happened so fast it’s like- “100 miles an hour” and the next thing you know, two people that were supposed to be relaxing in the harbor of their home are thinking “good grief, what’s wrong with YOU?” “NO, what’s wrong with you?” …….

Now, it’s been worse (in times past). I thought he should water flowers at this one place we lived (as I was tired, had done it all the time, and they needed watering. He decided to make “gardeners’ last stand” and say he didn’t want flowers in the first place! I was all indignant, he got a list of all the stuff I didn’t want to do that I  did…….and that’s why he should do it when I ask with no back talk! (Yeah I know, WOW) …but the thing is….

You can be a praying person, full of the spirit. LOVE GOD and love others- and STILL wind up like this! One is from being too tired, or not taking the time to just count to 10, think about what you are going to say next…….in this case, he has the right to say “I am not into flowers” and I have the right to say “I am not” Into whatever it is he wants me to do (change the oil maybe?) 😄

But the other thing we have to watch out for is this:  “assumptions’ like how I assumed he was comparing me to his ex? (Lickety split, it just happened) If we say well “sorry” and don’t pray on our ways….. we keep messing up (over and over again) Destroying the relationship we so cherished. If we say “Okay God, I need help with this JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS Problem” then …….

The  bible says “confess your faults’ and pray (for one another) AND you’ll be healed! It doesn’t say “point out their faults and assume it’s all them because hey YOU are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!” 
(and you can never be wrong? oh oh! )………

I know this is a long post. Maybe YOU are never like this but, we all have our flaws.🙂 (weak areas?) …..and it’s the little things sometimes. I hope my confession (one of many days I was OFF In my thinking for one reason or another) Will help you Remember to ASK “What did you mean by that?” When dealing with someone stop! ASK “What are you saying, can you clarify?” ….

Pretend you HAVE To be professional! It’s too easy to take someone we love for granted, & think things like “You should know me by now” (another assumption)

Helps you see yes ….we are all human! But let’s try to do better! And here’s the thing DO things in such a way you actually like yourself! There’s a story Jesus told, the master took a long time returning and this person began to “beat the servants” 😯and how much trouble he got in when the master came home! Let’s not be doing things wrong just because we think nobody sees us….

God sees everything! He is your Father! and he’s watching you! every day! Well I hope this helped someone ..

WIth Love And a prayer: “Father anyone out there who is just struggling with feeling things are unfair, hopeless, impossible! I Pray that You would help that person start with themselves! And learn to learn of you Father! NO matter what! In Jesus’ name help us all remember two wrongs do not make things right. Help us not to give up on our own integrity just becuase we’re having a bad day. Helpl us Father to love ourselves enough to get some rest or take a time out …….In Jesus’ name we pray. amen

Laura Grace

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No Drama not even for your Mama! Relationships #2 Judging/Making snap-judgments

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Relationships #1 Judging (and snap judgments).

Nothing is scarier than a person armed with Knowledge, (bold as brass), yet not having an entire handle (or view) of the truth. The truth actually contains “the whole picture” not just your view of it.

If we see a house next door to us, we cannot see the roof, the basement, or the interior of the house. We can only see our viewpont, unless we investigate and get a closer view. Right?

Yet at times, we all make “snap” judgments, better known as jumping to conclusions! And why did I say nothing is scarier than these types?

Because: People with real problems are vulnerable (more than any others) to this “mis-applied’ Information, and you can really “Mess them up.” 

I met a gal a few years ago, who had such problems in her marraige it was staggering.

After hearing her story, I jumped to the conclusion (based on my knowledge) she needed to get out of there and start over. THANK (YOU) God for a background in learning that prayer (and asking the Holy Spirit how to pray) was important (to God). if not for those Spiritual Teachings. I have no idea how much damage I might have done with my “I know the answer” type advice.

I did pray before I spoke, but I really didn’t take much time to really seek God about her situation, before opening my mouth! I was so gung ho about seeing women not abused, I failed to see God wanted to heal this relationship.

And so I learned. The hard way.

We can know things that are true, yet mis-apply that truth. That’s what the Pharisees did on more than one occasion, with Jesus. They knew the Sabbath was holy, but they mis-applied that truth and attacked him about his disciples picking some wheat, or his healing of someone on the Sabbath Day. They crossed from knowledge to Judging, and I suspect pride had come in- over their “great knowledge” about God’s Word.

When people say “God is Judging” (Over all this sin) i want to remind you of this passage: Matthew 7:2 “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (KJV).

When God Does Judge, by his own standard- it’s to those who are measuring out Judgment toward others. This is the only type of judgment we need to be concerned with, as it’s not up to use WHO receives mercy or who doesn’t! That is between them (and God)- not between them and us.

When we are too concerned with Justice, or even protecting ourselves and others, we can find ourselves in the very deep water of mis-applying the truth, and making snap-judgements all too quickly. No wonder Jesus said “take my yoke, learn of me”

Let’s keep learning! (and deal withourselves first!) It is wise to do so. The best relationships start with YOU! And as we learn of Jesus, (relationship #1) all the others will get better.  -Laura Grace, author, Grace to Grow 

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The silent cries of an anguished heart………

rescue meDid you know it’s super important to let God have your tears? Your Pain? Your disappointment? oh you don’t have to. You can drink, do some drugs, go on a wild rampage, if you choose to do so you could even kill someone (go to prison) Whatever you like! Shocking, isn’t it? YOU CAN do whatever you wish! Who’s going to stop you? 

That’s the scary part. (Free will!) Free will scares me more than anything, especiallyl my own. You probably already figured out we live in a world where more and more people are saying “I can do what I want, be what I want” get out of my my way!” People hurt us, let us down, reject us, ignore us, take things out on us, 

And- all kinds of things happen (every day) There is no cut and dried solution. Yes I know what the bible says “Love suffers long” (How long?) Love is patient and kind (but I don’t feel like loving today!) I am tired (the heart screams) I need a harvest! I can’t take anymore! The demands are constant! It never ends! We wear masks because nobody wants to hear it. SO we put on a brave face and march forward, doing the best we can (with a brave face, and the heart screaming!) 

Finally by the grace of God we find a friend, a true friend we can confide in. They understand. Our hearts cry with relief. Finally, someone understands me! Maybe it’s because they have walked that path we are walking right now, or maybe it’s because they prepared their heart to minister in THAT particular area…..

But later on……(much later) we find out they can’t handle this other thing we are going through, so they lash out at us, and don’t know what to say…….and the magic is gone, so to speak. It happens to all of us (if we are honest) 

Sometimes Life on planet earth throws so much at us (one thing after another) It staggers the mind, rips at the heart, and leaves us all in pieces. We don’t understand what people are going through all the time no matter how much we THINK we know the answers. We don’t know if that one more thing was almost the end of them. They don’t always know one more thing was almost the end of us…….

There is only one person I know I can always depend on. God. Father God. Abba Father. I know those who think I’m some headhunter for Jesus do not understand this either. All I can hope is after he’s picked me up for the 1000th’ time and breathed his life into me once again, that I will someday run into to someone, somewhere I can share how he helped me…….and in turn, they too can be helped. 

For me, this is life worth living. Receiving from him and breathing his life onto others ……Life is short “I want to live it well” as the song says…….

SONG HERE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQ_UZMYp3mI

Which means I don’t have time to stay angry, or mourn too long, or wallow around in my troubles. I don’t have time to hold grudges, or wonder why that person did what they did. I just have to move on, and follow jesus …..

And here is what I have to say to you now. HE WILL HEAL YOU SO YOU CAN GO FORWARD WITH HIM! He WILL DELIVER YOU FROM ANYTHING THAT KEEPS YOU FROM HIM! Trust me when I say he didn’t die a bloody death to see you LEFT OUT of his Kingdom! He will break you out, break you free and make a way for you TO FOLLOW HIM! To the ends of the earth and wherever he takes you. 

I can say this because I’ve lived it. And yes I know about all those silent screams that say WHY WHY WHY WHY God WHY did this or that have to happen? Well somtimes it’s just free will. God cries over those who run away from him too. God hates it when they hurt you too.  Yes he wants to fix the misunderstandings but sometimes there is not time for it, or someone isn’t ready to hear what they need to hear (Yet) So ….Let it go, let him Heal (your heart) give him all the pieces…

and march on. “Father if you help one person go foward today because of this message I praise you” I really praise you” to the one reading this heal their heart bind up their wounds and let them go free today Father” IN Jesus’ name I pray. amen Laura Grace Author, grace to the rescue and others available on Amazon 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.”