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Relationships 5 “No More Drama not even for your mama” the dark underbelly of “Control” (Part 1)

Control vs influence conTROL VS INFLUENCE Jesus.jpg

 Have you ever had anyone come on your FB wall and argue, and argue, and argue (Until you finally have to delete them?) Because if you don’t, the message you are trying to get across is lost in a sea of debate? It reminds me of when we were kids, and played “king of the hill.” Whoever could push you off your stance on the mount “became King!” …..

Control: To direct a person or animal to behave a certain way. To have power over something. Authority: the power to or right to make decisions, or direct (It is given) 

See the difference? One is given. One is assumed. Stephen had authority given by God to speak. A mob of controllers silenced him because they were cut to the heart (conviction). Acts 7:54-59

What is it? If you’ve spent any time on the internet, You’ve probably experienced control. It’s the counterfeit of Authority. Jesus spoke as “one who had authority” He did not argue with people, or try to talk over top of them.

He didn’t whine about how intolerant people are. He found those who wanted to listen.

If you notice, Jesus didn’t talk about “his rights’  His Authority came from the Father in Heaven. He walked in it by simply “going about his Father’s business.”  (Luke 2:49).

His Authority was questioned in Matthew 21. (by the Pharisees). He wisely refused to answer them. He knew their tricks.

Control starts with fear. Not fear like Fear of snakes or bugs, but fear of conviction or being exposed. Sometimes fear of not beng “in power or in control (of that which they wish to control!) Fear of hearing the truth..(and having to make adjustments). 

It was control (in a mob mentality) that made them stone Stephen to death Acts 7:54-59.

Controlling people will often accuse you of being controlling. Here is the difference. You have authority over your house, your face book, your car, your “twitter account” and before all that, your mind, your will and your emotions. God gave you freedom (from the evil one) when he sent Jesus to the cross.

He spoiled all those powers and triumphed over them, “making a show of them” openly. (Col 2:15).

People may have different things they want control of (and to put a lid on things) but the motive is always the same. “I am in control.” Ever heard that expression,” I”ve got it all under control?” Yes, you have! You may have even said it! Controlling people will talk over the top of you, not let you get a word in edgewise, and will use all sorts of tactics to “shut you up.” Why? Because they don’t wish to hear you. If you put them in their place, they will often call you: “conrolling!” 

I pray Father in Jesus’ name as I consider and reveal about control (and where it comes from) you will help us all learn YOUR ways and not man’s ways about how to deal with this. I pray this Father “LET THERE BE LIGHT” In all areas of our souls, hearts, and minds that comes only from you Dear Father!”

In Jesus’ name “deliver us” from the evil one, cause us to escape his lies, which have been growing like weeds since that day he entered this earth. In Jesus’ name. (amen)

-stay tuned for part 2. Laura Grace control vs influence.png   Author, speaker, minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ 

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Relationships, No More Drama, not even for your Mama! #4 Assumptions …..

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Who I DON”T want to be (and how I found out). by Laura Grace

I’m going to write this before I change my mind! I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share about relationships a number of times….and I knew it would mean confessing mistakes I have made……….

So Years ago my husband tells me “his ex” used to buy a lot of food and not use it. I heard that, made a note of it, and make every attempt Not to be that way. Years go by, one day he notices I threw something out without using it and makes a comment “Did that go bad already, we didn’t even use it?” ….

Instantly (because I’m tired and had a hard day) I assume he is saying I’m like his ex. “That fast!” Hair trigger moment. “I’ve been busy!!” I snap- (and start listing what I had to do all day BECAUSE I assume he needs to know (because he doesn’t keep track of all my jobs, only what food is being tossed out!) “Okay Okay” He said it was just an observation I wasn’t attacking you!” (and looks all disgusted like I am a hila monster on fire!) I react to THAT next it goes into my mind “Gee wiz can’t I have a bad day?”

Now I’m bent! (and don’t even know why!) And see, all this happened so fast it’s like- “100 miles an hour” and the next thing you know, two people that were supposed to be relaxing in the harbor of their home are thinking “good grief, what’s wrong with YOU?” “NO, what’s wrong with you?” …….

Now, it’s been worse (in times past). I thought he should water flowers at this one place we lived (as I was tired, had done it all the time, and they needed watering. He decided to make “gardeners’ last stand” and say he didn’t want flowers in the first place! I was all indignant, he got a list of all the stuff I didn’t want to do that I  did…….and that’s why he should do it when I ask with no back talk! (Yeah I know, WOW) …but the thing is….

You can be a praying person, full of the spirit. LOVE GOD and love others- and STILL wind up like this! One is from being too tired, or not taking the time to just count to 10, think about what you are going to say next…….in this case, he has the right to say “I am not into flowers” and I have the right to say “I am not” Into whatever it is he wants me to do (change the oil maybe?) 😄

But the other thing we have to watch out for is this:  “assumptions’ like how I assumed he was comparing me to his ex? (Lickety split, it just happened) If we say well “sorry” and don’t pray on our ways….. we keep messing up (over and over again) Destroying the relationship we so cherished. If we say “Okay God, I need help with this JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS Problem” then …….

The  bible says “confess your faults’ and pray (for one another) AND you’ll be healed! It doesn’t say “point out their faults and assume it’s all them because hey YOU are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!” 
(and you can never be wrong? oh oh! )………

I know this is a long post. Maybe YOU are never like this but, we all have our flaws.🙂 (weak areas?) …..and it’s the little things sometimes. I hope my confession (one of many days I was OFF In my thinking for one reason or another) Will help you Remember to ASK “What did you mean by that?” When dealing with someone stop! ASK “What are you saying, can you clarify?” ….

Pretend you HAVE To be professional! It’s too easy to take someone we love for granted, & think things like “You should know me by now” (another assumption)

Helps you see yes ….we are all human! But let’s try to do better! And here’s the thing DO things in such a way you actually like yourself! There’s a story Jesus told, the master took a long time returning and this person began to “beat the servants” 😯and how much trouble he got in when the master came home! Let’s not be doing things wrong just because we think nobody sees us….

God sees everything! He is your Father! and he’s watching you! every day! Well I hope this helped someone ..

WIth Love And a prayer: “Father anyone out there who is just struggling with feeling things are unfair, hopeless, impossible! I Pray that You would help that person start with themselves! And learn to learn of you Father! NO matter what! In Jesus’ name help us all remember two wrongs do not make things right. Help us not to give up on our own integrity just becuase we’re having a bad day. Helpl us Father to love ourselves enough to get some rest or take a time out …….In Jesus’ name we pray. amen

Laura Grace

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Is the Gospel always good news? It is but not to all…..and here’s why……..

HAPPY SADI know we’ve all heard the saying “How beautiful are the feet of those, who bring good news.” (Isaiah 52:7) And even Jesus himself quoted Isaiah, letting everyone know he was the fullfillment of Isaiah’s prophecies, about a coming saviour, bringing Good News. 

To many of the Chief Priests and Pharisees, this was not good news. I was reading this morning how they yelled and screamed for him to be crucified. “He said he’s the Son of God” they said “Crucify Him!” (John 19:6). To the disciples who were told “Ye of Little Faith” by Jesus- (while in training) perhaps it didn’t always “Feel like” good news to them, either. Man always has an answer HE thinks is best, and God always has an answer. 

When the two do not agree, worlds collide.

We need to be aware of our choices, and what answer we are going to give creedence to.  I want to remember that those who stopped following Jesus, did not get anymore answers, or correction from God. He doesn’t throw his pearls out-for those who tend to trample on them. An idol is something that we give more creedence to than God and that CAN BE our circumstance, or problem sometimes. 

IN other words what is bigger to me? God, or my problem (the giant) I am facing? Jesus followers ask these hard questions. Those who don’t do not, and blame God for every single outcome (good or bad). So then, the gospel is always “Good News” but not to some. 

We (sometimes) try to bend it, twist it or even water it down to make it more palatable, but that is not wise. Oh Sure, God knows our hearts (I just wanted them to get it Lord!) 

But, we don’t need to “adjust” God’s word so that it “feels more” Like good news to those who won’t listen. We Don’t have to make it into Good News, It already is. The Good news is God is speaking (and has spoken) the question is: Are we listening to Him? Or something else? Incline your ear (toward him) Proverbs 2. If you care to…..

with love and prayers and blessing to you all 

Laura Grace

 

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Why are some christians so mean?

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The reason there are “christians” that act like something in the cast of “Mean Girls” is that Christianity is a spiritually imparted thing, not a learned thing, not a church you join, not something you inherit from your parents, and not a lofty goal to achieve- by continually striving to get there. “Real” Christianity is receiving by God’s spirit His ways, his revelations, his fruits of the Spirit, and most of all; HIS kind of Love. The types who think they have it (and have just learned to use the bible to hurt people) are the types that will kick a new Christian when they are down, so watch out! Don’t be deceived either, into thinking these false representatives of Christ are a true picture of “who he is.” Their image may say christian while their actions continually display behavior of the evil one. 

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 1 John 3:9 

                                

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Gal 5:19-21 

                                                                              Laura Grace 

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What do you consider to be “RESPECTABLE” ? What does God think about Respect? and being respectful

I hear a lot about being respectful nowdays. “Respect me” or “That’s disrespetful.” The truth is if someone sets a boundary, we should respect that boundary or (the Authority) of the one who set the boundary. No Trespassing signs, No solicitors, Keep off the grass! If we violate those boundaries it’s a trespass. 

But really, what is being respectful or respectable in the eyes of Jesus? Or the World? are they the same? 

I really struggle with the word “respectful,” sometimes. I have prayed about it over the years, asking God what he thinks about it all. As usual he doesn’t answer, sometimes for years. I think it’s because he waits for His word to grow and develop in our heart(s). Sooner or later the fruit will come out, including the fruit of understanding his Word.

And yes, Understanding is a “fruit’ or outcome- of studying, praying and seeking him. 🙂 It’s the fruit of HIS own Love building us up (in HIm.)

I see this: What the World (humans in general) have respect for: 

  1. A person well-educated on a topic 2. Success financially 3. Ruling without apology and successful management of people or business 4. Overcoming incredible odds by sheer determination 5. Selfless Humanitarianism and tireless giving

This is what I see God Respects: 

  1. Receiving Revelation from Him (Understanding) about his Word by his Spirit. 2. Faithful with goods or money and not clinging to it, surrendered to Him 3. Serving without selfish Ambition as directed by His Spirit 4. Overcoming by his strength and in obedience toward Him 5. Ministry as God says to do it (no matter how foolish it looks) And looking after his own sheep (feeding them, finding them, helping them) and doing what he says! (When he says, how he says) Gen 4 The story of Abel.

  Pretty different, aren’t they? Do I care what the world thinks (about me?) Or what God thinks? Which one will I face for all eternity? Hmm 

Gen 4:4 “And the Lord Respected Abel”. (We know what happened to him, right?) 

To respect a boundary -is to not trepass. For instance, if you put out a sign “Keep off the Grass” Or tell someone “Please don’t belch in my house” and they do it anyway, it’s disrespectful (not honoring their wishes, in their own house).  I have no problem with this, but I do have a problem with respect when it comes to a one-way relationship.

As far as belief systems go, if I have to respect your beliefs, you need to respect mine. This means we may not “trespass on each other” If I say stop (regarding your input) or you say stop (concering my input) we both should have to stop (out of Love IE: Respect) For each other’s personal boundaries.

Here’s the thing: God’s Word, and the world’s opinion, will never mix. One is hot, one is cold. One is sharp, one is dull. You can’t be conformed to this world and transformed by God at the same time. We can’t love (be On fire or Hot) for God While embracing all the thoughts of this world (which is cold toward God,) and not become lukewarm. Hot and cold mixed makes “tepid” (Lukewarm) waters. Hot water flushes out bacteria, germs and unhealthy things. HOT For God’s word (on fire) cleanses us in Holy Fire.

So if I don’t seem respectful of the world’s advice, I will not apologize for that. My food is to do the will of my Father (in Heaven). My mandate is to Follow him. My mind is to be renewed on his Word, not every thing you want to tell me, that you think is cool or the latest rage, or the latest fashion. Call me disrespectful about the opinions of others if you wish, For really, I could say the same about you. Are you respectful of God’s Word?

He made this world! He Framed it! His input is Bread (and life) to my soul.

If you are looking for the world to applaud you for your belief system, you will probably be very disappointed. They aren’t going to applaud you. Respect for God, his ways, and his people is not something the world is ever going to do. If you give them

Respect,other than just saying Okay “I will” Keep off your grass” I WILL stop talking to you about God- because you said “it’s trespassing” has nothing to do with me having to listen to YOU and your opinions all day long! That is not respect, that’s cowing down to someone who does NOT have the answers (Christian) and you know better! So don’t listen to them. Stick with God. Blessed is the man who Trusts in Him (and inclines their ear to hear what God has to say!) Proverbs 2.   What Good is it to gain the world? (Jesus said) and lose your soul? Hmm Something to Ponder. 

-Laura Grace Author, Grace to Grow 

 

John 15:8    Romans 12:2   1 John 2:15-17   Matthew 16:26

 

 

 

 

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Am I a Mutt? I think perhaps I am

cooper 2012 age 4
This is Cooper, He’s a mutt (and he doesn’t care) 

Who I am: Am I a Mutt?

Hi, Laura Grace here. I wish I could make this page “come alive to you” as I share what’s on my heart today. You know, I was raised Lutheran, studied the catechism to be confirmed (meaning I understood God’s word well enough to partake of the cup and the bread) but you know what? I didn’t know the Lord even after all that. I knew scriptures, but I did not know God. Oh, they are one in the same you say?

Who brings the word alive? Who causes it to become Living water to your soul? Jesus, that’s who! And how can we do that if we never let him in? “Okay Lord, I believe in you,” Many say, as they go on their way. Yes, THEIR WAY. And that’s what I did, for a long, long time. I went to a little Pentecostal church one day because I was feeling empty inside. They sang praises to Jesus, and clapped their hands. “PRAISE THE LORD!” I heard them shout. oh wow, I was amazed by this! What a sight to see!

Alas, I found out they didn’t think I was saved, because they prayed I would speak in tongues, but it didn’t happen when they thought it should. Want to know why? I wasn’t even SAVED YET! Which leads to the next portion of my mutt story, I DO BELIEVE we must be Born Again to SEE the kingdom of GOD TO SEE IT TO LIVE IN IT AND TO WALK IN IT. Maybe some get Born again without realizing it? I mean, don’t babies get born sometimes at home? Or did anyone tell them “Hey by the way did you know you were actually born? You didn’t just arrive here from a stork some magical day?”

See, there are so many things we experience, but never understand. God wants us to understand what has happened to us! He wants us to know where we are at with him, where we stand, and what he thinks about it all. He’s our Father! And yes, he wants you to know! But so long as we treat him as this distant unapproachable scary God (as in MT Sinai and a mountain burning with Smoke) we will never experience the new Zion, angels rejoicing, celebration experience He so desires for us. For a Christian, words like “Born Again” should not scare us. We should love and want to understand the WHOLE bible, should we not? 

Hey, I understand many are not comfortable with speaking in tongues, jumping around dancing, or worshipping with their hands lifted high in Praise to Jesus. I do. But I want to tell you, opening my mind and heart to my other brothers and sisters in Christ and their experiences, has surely enriched my life beyond my wildest imagination. I believe, like the Baptists, that being Born Again is important. I do believe we should consider and ask God about the bread and the cup and not be careless about it. I think we should be Spirit Filled too.

We THE BRETHREN (the ones that we are asked to Love) Must learn to at least try and like each other! (And move on to Love from there?) seriously! And do I ever go up to my dog and say “why aren’t you a doberman?” Why aren’t you a poodle? What’s wrong with you?” We are all just (gentile dogs) saved by Grace. Unless you are a Jew (the first people God went to) and you know why He did that? I beleive it’s because of Abraham! But that’s another story……..

I think we should open our hearts to consider Mark 16, and the idea of casting out demons, laying hands on the sick, and believing for them to recover. I think there should be order in the service and we should sing all kinds of hymns, and spiritual songs. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to bring myself to label myself with a certain denomination ever again. I have to face what Jesus has made me,

“I’m a mutt.” And I know He loves me, just as I am. If I can love my dog (who is also a mutt) how much MORE Does God rejoice when I come running to him, my face full of Joy, so happy to be His! Yep I’m a mutt. And I’m okay with it. Yes that’s me, a gentile dog, saved by his grace…..and I am so thankful! -Laura Grace 

PS There is more to this story (born again, Spirit Filled, testimonies, ) in My book Grace to The Rescue. Available on Kindle (Amazon) and soon to be re-released. 

Mark 7: 25 For a woman whose young daughter had an unclean spirit heard about Him, and she came and fell at His feet. 26 The woman was a Greek, a Syro-Phoenician by birth, and she kept asking Him to cast the demon out of her daughter. 27 But Jesus said to her, “Let the children be filled first, for it is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the little dogs.”

28 And she answered and said to Him, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs under the table eat from the children’s crumbs.”

29 Then He said to her, “For this saying go your way; the demon has gone out of your daughter.”

30 And when she had come to her house, she found the demon gone out, and her daughter lying on the bed. Hey wait a minute! didn’t he “cast out the demon?” No in this case –her faith caused the deliverance! hmm……”Don’t put God in a box” ….