being a good friend · Friendship · God's Friends · Relationship is everything with God and others · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · relationships are everything with God and others · There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother · Uncategorized

Friendship is……

My Scripture for today is: Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother”

Why is (a good) friendship better than therapy? Because you have to pay the therapist (to listen to you) a friend does it for free. A friend loves you even when your words are not happy, Holy, wholesome or even “Politically or rationally correct”

A friend will hear your worst fears, pain, sorrow, hateful feelings, anger, rage, and all your “dark night of the soul” stuff without passing Judgement. I know the best friend to talk to is Jesus but since we cannot see him the next best thing is a friend who has 
allowed HIS very heart to develop within their soul realm.

When we listen to friends we should learn to listen with our heart, asking God’s light to be there with us. When a friend is in pain, it’s not a great time to jump to conclusions about them or offer little platitudes, unkind remarks, or make them feel stupid because WE never experienced that type of pain.

Developing empathy takes time. Christians, please remember that Literally thousands of things were said that are not in our bibles. The early Christians had no scripture to quote. therefore, we know a whole lot more was said than what is in the pages before us.

I ask myself questions such as “If Jesus’ Had compassion they hadn’t eaten for three days while listening to him preach, what other things did he have compassion about?

It’s wonderful to say the right things in the face of evil and pain, and to have the continual goal of staying positive, however, there are times people just need a Friend (to listen) And the compassionate listeners in your life are those unsung heroes who are often the wind beneath our wings.

Laura Grace Friendship love.jpg

becoming a leader · becoming Christ-like · being a giant slayer · being a good counsellor · gracetogrow · Gracetogrowrealstories · gracetogrowstudy · gracetosoar · Keeping the kingdom safe · kingdomofgod · KingdomofGodwithinyou · men and God · men hurt too · men of God · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · Uncategorized · understanding men · when your husband is angry

Relationship is everything Series: A word about Men (and men being spiritual)

 

Funny man and womanI think deep down- most men think being too spiritual is woman stuff and not for them. 
Pastors? They can do it and it’s acceptable for them. The rest feel left out- for the most part, and Maybe a little bit lost as to what role they have in the spirit-realm. 
THE WHOLE PROBLEM IS that women Mostly are taught from the time they are born we are helpers to men, they are not taught they are helpers to us.
They are to protect, defend, even die for us. it all starts very young for them “be a man” “man up” …..Women are taught to be the helpers- men are taught to be strong or if they don’t feel strong they had better look like they are. Meltdowns and crying are for women only. Men are not 
supposed to cry or feel weak or feel defenseless. 
Society as a whole calls them wimps or woosies if they do that. 
So-they lash out instead. (in most cases) or get grumpy. In Most cases it’s because deep inside they are hurting about something. but by looking at them, you’d never know it. they are trying to be brave for us. 
Their hurt (anger and pain) “leaks out” sometimes in the craziest ways. Weeping at the Altar praying to be more loving and kind is hard for most men (as far as I can see). 
They are torn between being a man of God, and feeling like men. 
I think they fear failing us, and in their own hearts and minds don’t really know what to do. No wonder King David was so special to God. He had cultivated his prayer life out there when he was among the sheep. He didn’t have to prove anything……
(to other men) Until that day he faced Goliath. by the time he did that he had learned to do things God’s way. 
Oh Father, help our men. In Jesus’ name we pray! Give them Soul Healing. Give them revival! Give them what they need! (Soul Healing and an understanding of who they are in you Lord!) Amen 
Laura Grace 
healing · healing broken hearts · healthy christian living · healthy minds · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · salvation · seek God · self awareness · self help · Soul healing · Uncategorized

Healing and Life & Freedom from strife

Sharing something personal with you……..beautiful blue scene.jpg

We dream of a world where THAT never happens again whatever it is. Nobody ever lies to us again.

Nobody ever hurts us again. Sometimes we grow up thinking “when I grow up” Nobody is going to (Make me) go through that again. It could be anything.

Maybe making you feel ashamed of your clothes. That happened long ago but some person just made a wicked comnent that sent you through the roof, and you don’t know why? How could their words hurt me so much (you wonder?)

I’ve been saved and serving God for 30 years. There are things that still can get under my skin, mess me up, and make me feel like I am not a new creature at all in Jesus. I AM (how do U know?) because the first thing I think is “Help me Jesus’ not ‘Going to kill them now” LOL

WE ALL suffer different things in life and if it happens at an impressionable age it can really affect us for life (without God’s help) Without God I’d have been on a whole lot of meds I can tell you that.

I can study psychology and see very plainly I had “PTSD” as they call it. When you “Freak out” because something reminds you of a painful moment you thought you forgot. When you “see red” because someone said something that reminds you of a painful time you have tucked away in a closet somewhere.

You are NOT going to realize these things without God’s help or someone (to hold you accountable) which could be a counsellor or a really wise friend if you have one to talk to. I was hurt by someone this week that Loves me and I know I love them but. It still hurt. A LOT. I Know from past experience not to freak out. I prayed, I waited, (prayed more) and finally approached them about it. I made calm decisions what I am going to do about it too.

I Worked through my FEELINGS that made me want to freak out. I assessed it all with God’s help.Why? because I learned the hard way I can make matters worse if I freak out and start saying things I regret.

this is called working out your Salvation (in God) this passage in Phillipians is talking to BELIEVERS (not unbelievers) Philippians 2:12 [ Light Bearers ] “Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” Have a great weekend friends! Love you dearly! Laura Grace 

communication is the key · fear of intimacy · overcomers · overcomers speaking · overcoming · overcoming fear · overcoming fear of intimacy · overcoming myself · overcominglabels · PTSD · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · relationships are everything with God and others · Uncategorized

No More Drama Series: Do you prefer Impersonal? Willing to Communicate?

FAith is light.jpg

We say we want personal but it makes us afraid, sometimes. So we choose impersonal. And we don’t like that either. 

Humans are funny creatures (sometimes).
We want to be more personal- but if it gets too personal, we don’t want that either. I remember when I first got with my husband, he was one of these “everything in the light” and “do everything together” sort of people.It’s not that I wanted to be secretive, but I had years of being alone, and doing things on my own. Having him watch me chop vegetables, his wanting to be in the room while I dressed, put on make up, use deoderant, (and so on) was just flat uncomfortable for me. 
 
He seemed to be of the opinion, that people who don’t like that are “sneaky” somehow, or we have something to hide. (Not so, not all the time!) I remember saying to him “I don’t like to live in a fishbowl!” He got all funny on me ‘Well I just like to be with you” He said. 
 
Oh the task of having to explain “I don’t like” to be with someone all the time! Did you know some people really do like to be around people ALL the time?
(And others do not??) and for those who don’t, those who do can make us feel crowded, suffocated even, without even meaning to. When we say “I need my space” it sounds harsh (even to our own ears) at times, especially to a person who likes “a lot of together time.” 
Intimate settings for some (in church) is not good for them. Praying together for one person can be comforting, for another it causes trauma.  We need to be patient. Give them space, and not say “What’s wrong with you?” 
 
Since we don’t know the history of the person we are getting to know, We may step on their toes, and not have any idea we did it. Communication is so important in these areas! I do recall my boss (who communicated) saying “Laura’ What is WRONG? (and she took me aside). How wonderful to have a person to just say “Is something wrong?” “How can I help?” 
 

Because she genuinely cared, and was not judgmental in her tone, as in “What’s WRONG WITH YOU?” I was able to communicate my feelings to her. This is the type of person I aspire to be. Not unapproachable, scary, and fearing intimate conversations with people. But it will take some overcoming, and discomfort. Day after day…….

In the case of my husband & me, I said “Look I need some space,” and it’s nothing against you personally, it’s just ‘how I’m wired”. Not yelling at him “I NEED MY SPACE!!” Why can’t you see that?” LOL 
Communication is SO important. To a person who isn’t good at it maybe just say “can we communicate? Will you please listen to me?” 
Something to think about…..
With Love, Laura Grace

 

Al Anon · angry christians don't accomplish much · authority of God · authority of Jesus matthew 21 · control vs influence · controlling · controlling spirits · disciplesofchrist · fear causes control · fear leads to control · godswisdom · graceofgod · gracerace · gracerescuedme · gracetogrow · Gracetogrowrealstories · gracetogrowstudy · gracetotherescueseries · gracewalk · growing up in Christ Jesus · growingingrace · growingraceandtheknowldgeofJesus · growingupinchrist · hard topics christianity · healthy christian living · healthy minds · healthychristians · highminded · inspiration · inspire · letting go of control · liberal · liesofsatan · liesoftheenemy · lifeinjesus · light · listening to Jesus · mob mentalities · mob mentality · motivation · no more drama not even for your mama part 5 · ongoing salvation · overcoming control and Jezebel · Relationship is everything with God and others · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · relationships are everything with God and others · renewing your mind in Christ · rescuedbygod · restore me · revolutionizedthinking · righteousness · the dark underbelly of control · Uncategorized · what do I do when they won't stop attacking me on Facebook

Relationships 5 “No More Drama not even for your mama” the dark underbelly of “Control” (Part 1)

Control vs influence conTROL VS INFLUENCE Jesus.jpg

 Have you ever had anyone come on your FB wall and argue, and argue, and argue (Until you finally have to delete them?) Because if you don’t, the message you are trying to get across is lost in a sea of debate? It reminds me of when we were kids, and played “king of the hill.” Whoever could push you off your stance on the mount “became King!” …..

Control: To direct a person or animal to behave a certain way. To have power over something. Authority: the power to or right to make decisions, or direct (It is given) 

See the difference? One is given. One is assumed. Stephen had authority given by God to speak. A mob of controllers silenced him because they were cut to the heart (conviction). Acts 7:54-59

What is it? If you’ve spent any time on the internet, You’ve probably experienced control. It’s the counterfeit of Authority. Jesus spoke as “one who had authority” He did not argue with people, or try to talk over top of them.

He didn’t whine about how intolerant people are. He found those who wanted to listen.

If you notice, Jesus didn’t talk about “his rights’  His Authority came from the Father in Heaven. He walked in it by simply “going about his Father’s business.”  (Luke 2:49).

His Authority was questioned in Matthew 21. (by the Pharisees). He wisely refused to answer them. He knew their tricks.

Control starts with fear. Not fear like Fear of snakes or bugs, but fear of conviction or being exposed. Sometimes fear of not beng “in power or in control (of that which they wish to control!) Fear of hearing the truth..(and having to make adjustments). 

It was control (in a mob mentality) that made them stone Stephen to death Acts 7:54-59.

Controlling people will often accuse you of being controlling. Here is the difference. You have authority over your house, your face book, your car, your “twitter account” and before all that, your mind, your will and your emotions. God gave you freedom (from the evil one) when he sent Jesus to the cross.

He spoiled all those powers and triumphed over them, “making a show of them” openly. (Col 2:15).

People may have different things they want control of (and to put a lid on things) but the motive is always the same. “I am in control.” Ever heard that expression,” I”ve got it all under control?” Yes, you have! You may have even said it! Controlling people will talk over the top of you, not let you get a word in edgewise, and will use all sorts of tactics to “shut you up.” Why? Because they don’t wish to hear you. If you put them in their place, they will often call you: “conrolling!” 

I pray Father in Jesus’ name as I consider and reveal about control (and where it comes from) you will help us all learn YOUR ways and not man’s ways about how to deal with this. I pray this Father “LET THERE BE LIGHT” In all areas of our souls, hearts, and minds that comes only from you Dear Father!”

In Jesus’ name “deliver us” from the evil one, cause us to escape his lies, which have been growing like weeds since that day he entered this earth. In Jesus’ name. (amen)

-stay tuned for part 2. Laura Grace control vs influence.png   Author, speaker, minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ 

abuse · abuse of power · assuming makes an ass of you and me · foolishness vs wisdom · Free will · godswisdom · growbeforeyousoar · growing · growing in GOD · growing up in Christ · growing up in God · growingingrace · growingraceandtheknowldgeofJesus · growingupinchrist · hard topics christianity · highminded · husband and wife · justice · little foxes that spoil the vine · marraige counselling · marraige trouble · no more drama · PTSD issues · Relationship is everything with God and others · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · relationships are everything with God and others · temper · Uncategorized

Relationships, No More Drama, not even for your Mama! #4 Assumptions …..

Relationship 10.jpgRelationship 12

Who I DON”T want to be (and how I found out). by Laura Grace

I’m going to write this before I change my mind! I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share about relationships a number of times….and I knew it would mean confessing mistakes I have made……….

So Years ago my husband tells me “his ex” used to buy a lot of food and not use it. I heard that, made a note of it, and make every attempt Not to be that way. Years go by, one day he notices I threw something out without using it and makes a comment “Did that go bad already, we didn’t even use it?” ….

Instantly (because I’m tired and had a hard day) I assume he is saying I’m like his ex. “That fast!” Hair trigger moment. “I’ve been busy!!” I snap- (and start listing what I had to do all day BECAUSE I assume he needs to know (because he doesn’t keep track of all my jobs, only what food is being tossed out!) “Okay Okay” He said it was just an observation I wasn’t attacking you!” (and looks all disgusted like I am a hila monster on fire!) I react to THAT next it goes into my mind “Gee wiz can’t I have a bad day?”

Now I’m bent! (and don’t even know why!) And see, all this happened so fast it’s like- “100 miles an hour” and the next thing you know, two people that were supposed to be relaxing in the harbor of their home are thinking “good grief, what’s wrong with YOU?” “NO, what’s wrong with you?” …….

Now, it’s been worse (in times past). I thought he should water flowers at this one place we lived (as I was tired, had done it all the time, and they needed watering. He decided to make “gardeners’ last stand” and say he didn’t want flowers in the first place! I was all indignant, he got a list of all the stuff I didn’t want to do that I  did…….and that’s why he should do it when I ask with no back talk! (Yeah I know, WOW) …but the thing is….

You can be a praying person, full of the spirit. LOVE GOD and love others- and STILL wind up like this! One is from being too tired, or not taking the time to just count to 10, think about what you are going to say next…….in this case, he has the right to say “I am not into flowers” and I have the right to say “I am not” Into whatever it is he wants me to do (change the oil maybe?) 😄

But the other thing we have to watch out for is this:  “assumptions’ like how I assumed he was comparing me to his ex? (Lickety split, it just happened) If we say well “sorry” and don’t pray on our ways….. we keep messing up (over and over again) Destroying the relationship we so cherished. If we say “Okay God, I need help with this JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS Problem” then …….

The  bible says “confess your faults’ and pray (for one another) AND you’ll be healed! It doesn’t say “point out their faults and assume it’s all them because hey YOU are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!” 
(and you can never be wrong? oh oh! )………

I know this is a long post. Maybe YOU are never like this but, we all have our flaws.🙂 (weak areas?) …..and it’s the little things sometimes. I hope my confession (one of many days I was OFF In my thinking for one reason or another) Will help you Remember to ASK “What did you mean by that?” When dealing with someone stop! ASK “What are you saying, can you clarify?” ….

Pretend you HAVE To be professional! It’s too easy to take someone we love for granted, & think things like “You should know me by now” (another assumption)

Helps you see yes ….we are all human! But let’s try to do better! And here’s the thing DO things in such a way you actually like yourself! There’s a story Jesus told, the master took a long time returning and this person began to “beat the servants” 😯and how much trouble he got in when the master came home! Let’s not be doing things wrong just because we think nobody sees us….

God sees everything! He is your Father! and he’s watching you! every day! Well I hope this helped someone ..

WIth Love And a prayer: “Father anyone out there who is just struggling with feeling things are unfair, hopeless, impossible! I Pray that You would help that person start with themselves! And learn to learn of you Father! NO matter what! In Jesus’ name help us all remember two wrongs do not make things right. Help us not to give up on our own integrity just becuase we’re having a bad day. Helpl us Father to love ourselves enough to get some rest or take a time out …….In Jesus’ name we pray. amen

Laura Grace

a word on "expert" advice · abidinginthevine · abuse · abuse of power · advice christian · anger management · anguished hearts · be accountable when counselling · being a good counsellor · being real with God · christian counselling is not cut and dried · disciplesofchrist · ever had a bad counsellor? · foolishness vs wisdom · formulas · Free will · Good counselling is objective · Grace to the Rescue by laura grace · Grace to the rescue ministries speaking · graceofgod · gracetogrow · Gracetogrowrealstories · how to un-become being a know it all · Judging · Jumping to conclusions · marital advice · no more drama not even for your mama · relationships and everyday problems · the pitfalls of giving martial advice · Uncategorized

No Drama not even for your Mama! Relationships #2 Judging/Making snap-judgments

RElationship 13 judging.jpg

Relationships #1 Judging (and snap judgments).

Nothing is scarier than a person armed with Knowledge, (bold as brass), yet not having an entire handle (or view) of the truth. The truth actually contains “the whole picture” not just your view of it.

If we see a house next door to us, we cannot see the roof, the basement, or the interior of the house. We can only see our viewpont, unless we investigate and get a closer view. Right?

Yet at times, we all make “snap” judgments, better known as jumping to conclusions! And why did I say nothing is scarier than these types?

Because: People with real problems are vulnerable (more than any others) to this “mis-applied’ Information, and you can really “Mess them up.” 

I met a gal a few years ago, who had such problems in her marraige it was staggering.

After hearing her story, I jumped to the conclusion (based on my knowledge) she needed to get out of there and start over. THANK (YOU) God for a background in learning that prayer (and asking the Holy Spirit how to pray) was important (to God). if not for those Spiritual Teachings. I have no idea how much damage I might have done with my “I know the answer” type advice.

I did pray before I spoke, but I really didn’t take much time to really seek God about her situation, before opening my mouth! I was so gung ho about seeing women not abused, I failed to see God wanted to heal this relationship.

And so I learned. The hard way.

We can know things that are true, yet mis-apply that truth. That’s what the Pharisees did on more than one occasion, with Jesus. They knew the Sabbath was holy, but they mis-applied that truth and attacked him about his disciples picking some wheat, or his healing of someone on the Sabbath Day. They crossed from knowledge to Judging, and I suspect pride had come in- over their “great knowledge” about God’s Word.

When people say “God is Judging” (Over all this sin) i want to remind you of this passage: Matthew 7:2 “For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (KJV).

When God Does Judge, by his own standard- it’s to those who are measuring out Judgment toward others. This is the only type of judgment we need to be concerned with, as it’s not up to use WHO receives mercy or who doesn’t! That is between them (and God)- not between them and us.

When we are too concerned with Justice, or even protecting ourselves and others, we can find ourselves in the very deep water of mis-applying the truth, and making snap-judgements all too quickly. No wonder Jesus said “take my yoke, learn of me”

Let’s keep learning! (and deal withourselves first!) It is wise to do so. The best relationships start with YOU! And as we learn of Jesus, (relationship #1) all the others will get better.  -Laura Grace, author, Grace to Grow