communication is the key · fear of intimacy · overcomers · overcomers speaking · overcoming · overcoming fear · overcoming fear of intimacy · overcoming myself · overcominglabels · PTSD · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · relationships are everything with God and others · Uncategorized

No More Drama Series: Do you prefer Impersonal? Willing to Communicate?

FAith is light.jpg

We say we want personal but it makes us afraid, sometimes. So we choose impersonal. And we don’t like that either. 

Humans are funny creatures (sometimes).
We want to be more personal- but if it gets too personal, we don’t want that either. I remember when I first got with my husband, he was one of these “everything in the light” and “do everything together” sort of people.It’s not that I wanted to be secretive, but I had years of being alone, and doing things on my own. Having him watch me chop vegetables, his wanting to be in the room while I dressed, put on make up, use deoderant, (and so on) was just flat uncomfortable for me. 
 
He seemed to be of the opinion, that people who don’t like that are “sneaky” somehow, or we have something to hide. (Not so, not all the time!) I remember saying to him “I don’t like to live in a fishbowl!” He got all funny on me ‘Well I just like to be with you” He said. 
 
Oh the task of having to explain “I don’t like” to be with someone all the time! Did you know some people really do like to be around people ALL the time?
(And others do not??) and for those who don’t, those who do can make us feel crowded, suffocated even, without even meaning to. When we say “I need my space” it sounds harsh (even to our own ears) at times, especially to a person who likes “a lot of together time.” 
Intimate settings for some (in church) is not good for them. Praying together for one person can be comforting, for another it causes trauma.  We need to be patient. Give them space, and not say “What’s wrong with you?” 
 
Since we don’t know the history of the person we are getting to know, We may step on their toes, and not have any idea we did it. Communication is so important in these areas! I do recall my boss (who communicated) saying “Laura’ What is WRONG? (and she took me aside). How wonderful to have a person to just say “Is something wrong?” “How can I help?” 
 

Because she genuinely cared, and was not judgmental in her tone, as in “What’s WRONG WITH YOU?” I was able to communicate my feelings to her. This is the type of person I aspire to be. Not unapproachable, scary, and fearing intimate conversations with people. But it will take some overcoming, and discomfort. Day after day…….

In the case of my husband & me, I said “Look I need some space,” and it’s nothing against you personally, it’s just ‘how I’m wired”. Not yelling at him “I NEED MY SPACE!!” Why can’t you see that?” LOL 
Communication is SO important. To a person who isn’t good at it maybe just say “can we communicate? Will you please listen to me?” 
Something to think about…..
With Love, Laura Grace

 

Jesus christ · liberal · liberty · ponderings and wanderings · PTSD · true liberal · Uncategorized

Set backs, PTSD, and being Liberal……

rescue-me

Good Morning! I have a lot on my heart this morning. I thought, “I will just write, and see what comes of this, “being real……” You know? 

This morning, I had a lot to do, and I heard of this person (a young woman) who wanted to have a babysitter for a missions trip. As quick as lightning, it took me back to a problem I had, while Trying to serve on the Worship team at church. 

I was about her age, and I was living for Jesus, full throttle. This meant I wasn’t having a lot of fun (in the natural) No drinking, no trips, fun was a rare commodity, and so was eating out. So worship team, now that was good, clean fun! 

We had practice, were all in harmony, and I got up there to sing on a Sunday Morning. A family member had agreed to watch my children, during the service. To my horror, My kids went scattering around the church, and one was crawling under the pews. The Family member had gone to the restroom, told them to sit still. Well, they didn’t sit still.  Even More horrifying, when the pastor pointed at me and in front of the whole congregation said: “You need to go take care of your children.” 

Not asking for sympathy here, but the story of this woman just “took me back,” and I found myself thinking okay, do I pray she has a better outcome? Well, of course I do! 

I’ve been struggling lately, with people who seem to lack empathy. They give pat answers, tell me how they struggle too so that should make it all better. I miss the days of praying for each other, and it makes me sad when people Self-Righteously “DECIDE” what is a worthy prayer request, and what isn’t. 

On being Liberal. I am liberal (and generous) with the benefits of God. I believe in Grace, Mercy, Healing, Forgiveness. I believe God is liberal (and generous) In all his ways. So really? I am a true liberal at heart! 

But from what I’ve seen in politics, it often means, “lets give liberally to my agenda,” and have understanding about what I care about, and the rest of you can go to *$)#!”

That’s not liberal. That is just mean-spirited! 

SO, PTSD is a new diagnosis, for trauma from the past erupts, and makes it difficult for us to make good choices (in a nutshell.) I think a lot of people have this, even on a minor scale. They have been hurt, just like I was that day on the worship team. I can never get that time in my life again, and I felt robbed of a chance to have some healthy fun. Now I have a choice don’t I (from all the trauma I”ve experienced?)

I can go out and make laws (to make sure I don’t get hurt, ever again) Or I can rally a big protest (because of my pain) Or…………..(OR) I can just ask God to heal me, and count it as Justice! I want restoration, more than I want compensation. A healed and restored life is the best Justice (and revenge!) Because truly then we know The enemy DID NOT WIN! God has healed me of a lot! I am aware each time he heals another area of my soul (He restores my SOUL Psalm 23 Amen?) But it’s a process, and not overnight. 

Just pondering my choices today, and asking God for healing, deliverance, Restoration, and all great things from him! He is my God! He is my source! And he is my healer! 

I have this feeling I will never regret this choice (Putting it all before him, and trusting him about the outcome!) Yep I’m 100 percent positive in My Faith, It’s a choice I will never regret. I have 30 years behind me, of Testimonies of God’s faithfulness & Love. 

How about you? 

Laura Grace,

Author and minister for the Lord Jesus Christ.

http://www.gracetotherescue.com