communication is the key · fear of intimacy · overcomers · overcomers speaking · overcoming · overcoming fear · overcoming fear of intimacy · overcoming myself · overcominglabels · PTSD · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · relationships are everything with God and others · Uncategorized

No More Drama Series: Do you prefer Impersonal? Willing to Communicate?

FAith is light.jpg

We say we want personal but it makes us afraid, sometimes. So we choose impersonal. And we don’t like that either. 

Humans are funny creatures (sometimes).
We want to be more personal- but if it gets too personal, we don’t want that either. I remember when I first got with my husband, he was one of these “everything in the light” and “do everything together” sort of people.It’s not that I wanted to be secretive, but I had years of being alone, and doing things on my own. Having him watch me chop vegetables, his wanting to be in the room while I dressed, put on make up, use deoderant, (and so on) was just flat uncomfortable for me. 
 
He seemed to be of the opinion, that people who don’t like that are “sneaky” somehow, or we have something to hide. (Not so, not all the time!) I remember saying to him “I don’t like to live in a fishbowl!” He got all funny on me ‘Well I just like to be with you” He said. 
 
Oh the task of having to explain “I don’t like” to be with someone all the time! Did you know some people really do like to be around people ALL the time?
(And others do not??) and for those who don’t, those who do can make us feel crowded, suffocated even, without even meaning to. When we say “I need my space” it sounds harsh (even to our own ears) at times, especially to a person who likes “a lot of together time.” 
Intimate settings for some (in church) is not good for them. Praying together for one person can be comforting, for another it causes trauma.  We need to be patient. Give them space, and not say “What’s wrong with you?” 
 
Since we don’t know the history of the person we are getting to know, We may step on their toes, and not have any idea we did it. Communication is so important in these areas! I do recall my boss (who communicated) saying “Laura’ What is WRONG? (and she took me aside). How wonderful to have a person to just say “Is something wrong?” “How can I help?” 
 

Because she genuinely cared, and was not judgmental in her tone, as in “What’s WRONG WITH YOU?” I was able to communicate my feelings to her. This is the type of person I aspire to be. Not unapproachable, scary, and fearing intimate conversations with people. But it will take some overcoming, and discomfort. Day after day…….

In the case of my husband & me, I said “Look I need some space,” and it’s nothing against you personally, it’s just ‘how I’m wired”. Not yelling at him “I NEED MY SPACE!!” Why can’t you see that?” LOL 
Communication is SO important. To a person who isn’t good at it maybe just say “can we communicate? Will you please listen to me?” 
Something to think about…..
With Love, Laura Grace

 

correction · covenant · deliver me from evil · encouragement · grace to grow · overcoming myself · take the land of me · Uncategorized

Getting the gunk out!

gunk

It’s funny how we all know we should get the Junk (or Gunk) out of our lungs when we are sick, or we need to clean the house (because we can’t see the treasure, for all the clutter) and it’s just so obvious to us, but not always so with our soul realm! 

It’s funny, how everyone thinks it’s awesome when we get physically healthy, but not so interested in becoming spiritually healthy. 

Anger, malice, grudges, un-forgiveness, Pride, smugness, and yes even the vanity of thinking ourselves “oh so wise” in our own opinions…….

All these (and more) rob us of finding our way in Jesus, to see what more he has to teach us today. We all want to graduate, (finally) to say we’ve arrived! With God we never do arrive. Not until we get to heaven. There is always more to learn from him!

And notice I said “from Him.” Come, Follow me, means Follow Him! (not every wind of doctrine that blows my way) 🙂 

OH Father, continually remove the leaven of sin from my life. Help me to share what i do know confidently, while learning still from you, forever and ever, Amen! Help me stay teachable always, even if you give the opportunity to share what is real in my heart. If I ever start becoming a pharisee or even like one, Spank me! Cut me off at the pass! Take me aside and deal with me Father! I pray for your discipline continuously in Jesus’ name. amen. And please Father, remove the gunk and junk from my soul! deliver me From THIS evil, the evil of old hurts, wounds, old grudges. all that JUNK! In Jesus’ name we pray. 

Amen!  -Laura Grace PS; Praying like this, is a great way to love yourself! 🙂 Amen! 

COL 2: 20 “Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations— 21 “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” 22 which all concern things which perish with the using—according to the commandments and doctrines of men? 23 These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.”