communication is the key · fear of intimacy · overcomers · overcomers speaking · overcoming · overcoming fear · overcoming fear of intimacy · overcoming myself · overcominglabels · PTSD · relationship with God · relationship with Jesus · relationships and everyday problems · Relationships are everything · relationships are everything with God and others · Uncategorized

No More Drama Series: Do you prefer Impersonal? Willing to Communicate?

FAith is light.jpg

We say we want personal but it makes us afraid, sometimes. So we choose impersonal. And we don’t like that either. 

Humans are funny creatures (sometimes).
We want to be more personal- but if it gets too personal, we don’t want that either. I remember when I first got with my husband, he was one of these “everything in the light” and “do everything together” sort of people.It’s not that I wanted to be secretive, but I had years of being alone, and doing things on my own. Having him watch me chop vegetables, his wanting to be in the room while I dressed, put on make up, use deoderant, (and so on) was just flat uncomfortable for me. 
 
He seemed to be of the opinion, that people who don’t like that are “sneaky” somehow, or we have something to hide. (Not so, not all the time!) I remember saying to him “I don’t like to live in a fishbowl!” He got all funny on me ‘Well I just like to be with you” He said. 
 
Oh the task of having to explain “I don’t like” to be with someone all the time! Did you know some people really do like to be around people ALL the time?
(And others do not??) and for those who don’t, those who do can make us feel crowded, suffocated even, without even meaning to. When we say “I need my space” it sounds harsh (even to our own ears) at times, especially to a person who likes “a lot of together time.” 
Intimate settings for some (in church) is not good for them. Praying together for one person can be comforting, for another it causes trauma.  We need to be patient. Give them space, and not say “What’s wrong with you?” 
 
Since we don’t know the history of the person we are getting to know, We may step on their toes, and not have any idea we did it. Communication is so important in these areas! I do recall my boss (who communicated) saying “Laura’ What is WRONG? (and she took me aside). How wonderful to have a person to just say “Is something wrong?” “How can I help?” 
 

Because she genuinely cared, and was not judgmental in her tone, as in “What’s WRONG WITH YOU?” I was able to communicate my feelings to her. This is the type of person I aspire to be. Not unapproachable, scary, and fearing intimate conversations with people. But it will take some overcoming, and discomfort. Day after day…….

In the case of my husband & me, I said “Look I need some space,” and it’s nothing against you personally, it’s just ‘how I’m wired”. Not yelling at him “I NEED MY SPACE!!” Why can’t you see that?” LOL 
Communication is SO important. To a person who isn’t good at it maybe just say “can we communicate? Will you please listen to me?” 
Something to think about…..
With Love, Laura Grace

 

bully · cluelesspeople · mobilehomepark · nottrailertrash · overcoming · overcominglabels · trailer trash · Uncategorized

Trailer Trash? Think again! To me, it’s a palace! (overcoming labels, part 1)

mobile-home

This is not the home I live in, but I do live in a modular (Mobile) Home. 

You know, years ago when I was a kid (many years ago now) We lived in a mobile home park. I was invited to a fancy party (down the street) and one of these kids said, “I know you, you live in that TRAILOR HOUSE He had a real sneer in his voice too. I asked why he said that, and he said “My Mom says it lowers the value of our land.” 

I went home crying. I felt like a leper or worse yet, like “Trailer Trash”. Many years later, I lived in one again. I never liked it, much. 

When my husband and I got married, he was really adverse to living in a “TRAILER.’ I remember telling him that may be the only way we can get a bigger home. 

We had looked at bigger houses, 148,000, $150,000, you know……(the prices) which would mean 900.00 a month on a 1300.00 a month take home pay. Not feasible. We suffered in a 943 square foot “stick house’ For 9 years to avoid a “Trailer!”. Finally, sick of being cramped, and having to go outside to change his mind, he relented …….

“Okay find us one,” he said………(in 2014). Well first we looked at a real scary one, that one probably does lower the value of their neighbors. Man that place was scary! A mobile home with parts added, like a big Frankenstein model! We passed that one up.

OUR HOUSE we paid on for 9 years (11 now, it’s not sold yet) had lost value, which was not what is supposed to happen. Mobiles depreciate, not houses, everyone knows THAT right? So, in 2014 we bought a mobile home. We bought this one, and we love it! our-new-house-great-pic

We were down at the Cafe, (in town) the other day, and someone told someone where we live and he said “Oh you mean that TRAILER?” (in the very same town as that kid way back when.) I thought wow. You are so clueless Mister!

You have no idea, how blessed we are by this Home, which God provided the way for us to have. Now my husband doesn’t have to scoot sideways to get into bed. Now my Family can visit without two of them sitting on the coffee table and our knees bumping together in the living room! 

I am so blessed by my (Ahem) TRAILER! And I know for a fact I am not Trash! God says so! I”m going to talk more about overcoming labels. Stay tuned! Laura Grace, Author.