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Relationships, No More Drama, not even for your Mama! #4 Assumptions …..

Relationship 10.jpgRelationship 12

Who I DON”T want to be (and how I found out). by Laura Grace

I’m going to write this before I change my mind! I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share about relationships a number of times….and I knew it would mean confessing mistakes I have made……….

So Years ago my husband tells me “his ex” used to buy a lot of food and not use it. I heard that, made a note of it, and make every attempt Not to be that way. Years go by, one day he notices I threw something out without using it and makes a comment “Did that go bad already, we didn’t even use it?” ….

Instantly (because I’m tired and had a hard day) I assume he is saying I’m like his ex. “That fast!” Hair trigger moment. “I’ve been busy!!” I snap- (and start listing what I had to do all day BECAUSE I assume he needs to know (because he doesn’t keep track of all my jobs, only what food is being tossed out!) “Okay Okay” He said it was just an observation I wasn’t attacking you!” (and looks all disgusted like I am a hila monster on fire!) I react to THAT next it goes into my mind “Gee wiz can’t I have a bad day?”

Now I’m bent! (and don’t even know why!) And see, all this happened so fast it’s like- “100 miles an hour” and the next thing you know, two people that were supposed to be relaxing in the harbor of their home are thinking “good grief, what’s wrong with YOU?” “NO, what’s wrong with you?” …….

Now, it’s been worse (in times past). I thought he should water flowers at this one place we lived (as I was tired, had done it all the time, and they needed watering. He decided to make “gardeners’ last stand” and say he didn’t want flowers in the first place! I was all indignant, he got a list of all the stuff I didn’t want to do that I  did…….and that’s why he should do it when I ask with no back talk! (Yeah I know, WOW) …but the thing is….

You can be a praying person, full of the spirit. LOVE GOD and love others- and STILL wind up like this! One is from being too tired, or not taking the time to just count to 10, think about what you are going to say next…….in this case, he has the right to say “I am not into flowers” and I have the right to say “I am not” Into whatever it is he wants me to do (change the oil maybe?) 😄

But the other thing we have to watch out for is this:  “assumptions’ like how I assumed he was comparing me to his ex? (Lickety split, it just happened) If we say well “sorry” and don’t pray on our ways….. we keep messing up (over and over again) Destroying the relationship we so cherished. If we say “Okay God, I need help with this JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS Problem” then …….

The  bible says “confess your faults’ and pray (for one another) AND you’ll be healed! It doesn’t say “point out their faults and assume it’s all them because hey YOU are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!” 
(and you can never be wrong? oh oh! )………

I know this is a long post. Maybe YOU are never like this but, we all have our flaws.🙂 (weak areas?) …..and it’s the little things sometimes. I hope my confession (one of many days I was OFF In my thinking for one reason or another) Will help you Remember to ASK “What did you mean by that?” When dealing with someone stop! ASK “What are you saying, can you clarify?” ….

Pretend you HAVE To be professional! It’s too easy to take someone we love for granted, & think things like “You should know me by now” (another assumption)

Helps you see yes ….we are all human! But let’s try to do better! And here’s the thing DO things in such a way you actually like yourself! There’s a story Jesus told, the master took a long time returning and this person began to “beat the servants” 😯and how much trouble he got in when the master came home! Let’s not be doing things wrong just because we think nobody sees us….

God sees everything! He is your Father! and he’s watching you! every day! Well I hope this helped someone ..

WIth Love And a prayer: “Father anyone out there who is just struggling with feeling things are unfair, hopeless, impossible! I Pray that You would help that person start with themselves! And learn to learn of you Father! NO matter what! In Jesus’ name help us all remember two wrongs do not make things right. Help us not to give up on our own integrity just becuase we’re having a bad day. Helpl us Father to love ourselves enough to get some rest or take a time out …….In Jesus’ name we pray. amen

Laura Grace

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Miracles and Justice obstructers who quibble over details……

funny-protest-signs-15.pngThere’s an old saying, “lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!”

Here lately, I have been noticing again, people’s propensity toward arguing.

Jesus dealt with it too, just in a different way ….

Father God summed it up for me one day in my Study time with him when he said, “My way is not to argue and fuss over how to do something, or pick apart how people do it.”

The Pharisees were always so worried about details. Quibbling about it. “Is he supposed to be healed on Sunday?” “Is that really godly?” People feel very free to just dive in, and it’s their God given duty to tell us WHAT we should believe in. Many of them, the very same people who defend their own freedom of speech, pounce on others, telling them how wrong they are! It’s amazing! This to them apparently, is helpful somehow?

“Did you know your socks don’t match?” (Helpful hint for today?) Maybe I only have two socks, and these are it!

There are justice obstructers out there, and they quibble over details, all the time.

THEY STOP THE RIVER OF LIFE, from flowing!

These are the sorts Jesus got upset at. I never once saw or heard of him saying “come on boys, I heard someone down the street is about to commit a sin. “Let’s go stop them!” never heard him say there should be a law against this, Never once heard of him saying, “Hey, you are not in church today, YOU SLACKER!” …………

I have never heard of the ministry of arguing (from Him), jumping on people’s cases, or like Doc Lynch recently said on his face book page “getting wrapped around the Axel” over things people say. Think about that one! If someone is aruging and fussing over what we say, instead of listening, or trying to discover maybe why we said it, all they do is stop the vehicle from moving forward. So back to what I said, Lead me, Follow me, Or get out of the way! I’m willing to explain why I believe what I believe, in a peaceful discussion over it!

Anyone who is not this way, who has to holler over the top of you, rant and rave, freak out, call you names, or any of this kind of stuff, is definally NOT a person I want to follow.

I want someone who leads me to Peace, into Righteousness, into Love, and into a deeper understanding of my Heavenly Father.

 

How about you? -Laura Grace