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Relationships 5 “No More Drama not even for your mama” the dark underbelly of “Control” (Part 1)

Control vs influence conTROL VS INFLUENCE Jesus.jpg

 Have you ever had anyone come on your FB wall and argue, and argue, and argue (Until you finally have to delete them?) Because if you don’t, the message you are trying to get across is lost in a sea of debate? It reminds me of when we were kids, and played “king of the hill.” Whoever could push you off your stance on the mount “became King!” …..

Control: To direct a person or animal to behave a certain way. To have power over something. Authority: the power to or right to make decisions, or direct (It is given) 

See the difference? One is given. One is assumed. Stephen had authority given by God to speak. A mob of controllers silenced him because they were cut to the heart (conviction). Acts 7:54-59

What is it? If you’ve spent any time on the internet, You’ve probably experienced control. It’s the counterfeit of Authority. Jesus spoke as “one who had authority” He did not argue with people, or try to talk over top of them.

He didn’t whine about how intolerant people are. He found those who wanted to listen.

If you notice, Jesus didn’t talk about “his rights’  His Authority came from the Father in Heaven. He walked in it by simply “going about his Father’s business.”  (Luke 2:49).

His Authority was questioned in Matthew 21. (by the Pharisees). He wisely refused to answer them. He knew their tricks.

Control starts with fear. Not fear like Fear of snakes or bugs, but fear of conviction or being exposed. Sometimes fear of not beng “in power or in control (of that which they wish to control!) Fear of hearing the truth..(and having to make adjustments). 

It was control (in a mob mentality) that made them stone Stephen to death Acts 7:54-59.

Controlling people will often accuse you of being controlling. Here is the difference. You have authority over your house, your face book, your car, your “twitter account” and before all that, your mind, your will and your emotions. God gave you freedom (from the evil one) when he sent Jesus to the cross.

He spoiled all those powers and triumphed over them, “making a show of them” openly. (Col 2:15).

People may have different things they want control of (and to put a lid on things) but the motive is always the same. “I am in control.” Ever heard that expression,” I”ve got it all under control?” Yes, you have! You may have even said it! Controlling people will talk over the top of you, not let you get a word in edgewise, and will use all sorts of tactics to “shut you up.” Why? Because they don’t wish to hear you. If you put them in their place, they will often call you: “conrolling!” 

I pray Father in Jesus’ name as I consider and reveal about control (and where it comes from) you will help us all learn YOUR ways and not man’s ways about how to deal with this. I pray this Father “LET THERE BE LIGHT” In all areas of our souls, hearts, and minds that comes only from you Dear Father!”

In Jesus’ name “deliver us” from the evil one, cause us to escape his lies, which have been growing like weeds since that day he entered this earth. In Jesus’ name. (amen)

-stay tuned for part 2. Laura Grace control vs influence.png   Author, speaker, minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ 

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Relationships, No More Drama, not even for your Mama! #4 Assumptions …..

Relationship 10.jpgRelationship 12

Who I DON”T want to be (and how I found out). by Laura Grace

I’m going to write this before I change my mind! I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share about relationships a number of times….and I knew it would mean confessing mistakes I have made……….

So Years ago my husband tells me “his ex” used to buy a lot of food and not use it. I heard that, made a note of it, and make every attempt Not to be that way. Years go by, one day he notices I threw something out without using it and makes a comment “Did that go bad already, we didn’t even use it?” ….

Instantly (because I’m tired and had a hard day) I assume he is saying I’m like his ex. “That fast!” Hair trigger moment. “I’ve been busy!!” I snap- (and start listing what I had to do all day BECAUSE I assume he needs to know (because he doesn’t keep track of all my jobs, only what food is being tossed out!) “Okay Okay” He said it was just an observation I wasn’t attacking you!” (and looks all disgusted like I am a hila monster on fire!) I react to THAT next it goes into my mind “Gee wiz can’t I have a bad day?”

Now I’m bent! (and don’t even know why!) And see, all this happened so fast it’s like- “100 miles an hour” and the next thing you know, two people that were supposed to be relaxing in the harbor of their home are thinking “good grief, what’s wrong with YOU?” “NO, what’s wrong with you?” …….

Now, it’s been worse (in times past). I thought he should water flowers at this one place we lived (as I was tired, had done it all the time, and they needed watering. He decided to make “gardeners’ last stand” and say he didn’t want flowers in the first place! I was all indignant, he got a list of all the stuff I didn’t want to do that I  did…….and that’s why he should do it when I ask with no back talk! (Yeah I know, WOW) …but the thing is….

You can be a praying person, full of the spirit. LOVE GOD and love others- and STILL wind up like this! One is from being too tired, or not taking the time to just count to 10, think about what you are going to say next…….in this case, he has the right to say “I am not into flowers” and I have the right to say “I am not” Into whatever it is he wants me to do (change the oil maybe?) 😄

But the other thing we have to watch out for is this:  “assumptions’ like how I assumed he was comparing me to his ex? (Lickety split, it just happened) If we say well “sorry” and don’t pray on our ways….. we keep messing up (over and over again) Destroying the relationship we so cherished. If we say “Okay God, I need help with this JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS Problem” then …….

The  bible says “confess your faults’ and pray (for one another) AND you’ll be healed! It doesn’t say “point out their faults and assume it’s all them because hey YOU are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!” 
(and you can never be wrong? oh oh! )………

I know this is a long post. Maybe YOU are never like this but, we all have our flaws.🙂 (weak areas?) …..and it’s the little things sometimes. I hope my confession (one of many days I was OFF In my thinking for one reason or another) Will help you Remember to ASK “What did you mean by that?” When dealing with someone stop! ASK “What are you saying, can you clarify?” ….

Pretend you HAVE To be professional! It’s too easy to take someone we love for granted, & think things like “You should know me by now” (another assumption)

Helps you see yes ….we are all human! But let’s try to do better! And here’s the thing DO things in such a way you actually like yourself! There’s a story Jesus told, the master took a long time returning and this person began to “beat the servants” 😯and how much trouble he got in when the master came home! Let’s not be doing things wrong just because we think nobody sees us….

God sees everything! He is your Father! and he’s watching you! every day! Well I hope this helped someone ..

WIth Love And a prayer: “Father anyone out there who is just struggling with feeling things are unfair, hopeless, impossible! I Pray that You would help that person start with themselves! And learn to learn of you Father! NO matter what! In Jesus’ name help us all remember two wrongs do not make things right. Help us not to give up on our own integrity just becuase we’re having a bad day. Helpl us Father to love ourselves enough to get some rest or take a time out …….In Jesus’ name we pray. amen

Laura Grace

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Relationship #2 No Drama “YOU” are you who you want to be?

Relationship 9

Relationships #2 YOU (Is at the core of every relationship.) Are you who you want to be?

“Being Real” is something we hear all the time. You should “be real” (They say). But it’s not defined. What does being real mean to you? Your anger (about social injustice) outrage (over the issues of life) or even grief, pain, sorrow…..(over untold Losses)

That’s not WHO you really are. is it? No. At the core or heart of relationship-is who WE are. If we don’t like ourselves how do we expect others to like us? If we are not at peace with ourselves, how can anyone else be at peace with us?

Can anyone MAKE us happy? (including God?). I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the man at the pool of Bathesda, (in John, chapter 5) where he said “do you want to be made well?”

Mental health is every bit as important (if not more important) than physical health. Many of us were “messed up” in our minds over things that happened throughout our lives. Abuse. Bullying. Social Injustices. And you don’t have to be a minority to experience discrimination, favoritism, and being left out by those ‘Elitists.”

It all hurts, and it all affects us (deeply) in our hearts.

A whole (Healed) Person has a Healed Soul and Mind. Did you notice Jesus dealt with this man’s heart? (and mind?) “Do you want to be well?”

Do you want to be made well? God asked me one time if I wanted Restoration or Compensation! (Wow!) I chose Restoration. Compensation is what you get when you sue someone over what was done to you. Or get “payment” for your loss.

I don’t want compensation. I want restoration! I choose life!

Even in relationships we have to ask this question: “do we want to get along?” (or do we just want to argue?). Do we want to do the work it takes to have a great relationship?

What’s important to us? What matters most? And truly “WHO” do we wish to be? A fighter? Scrapper? Conquerer? Leader of the band? Or do we wish to have our identity forever be “continual victim” because we believe this is our lot in life?

1.Who do you want to be? And why? God really wants to know! Let him know who you would like to be! Then ask “what he wants you to be!” This is relationship at it’s finest. TWO WAY (not one way).

2. Make peace with yourself (However long it takes)

3. Be a friend (to yourself) And receive all God has for you. This will make you a better friend to others…in the long run (and a better spouse, better employeee, and so on and so forth). This means “Being willing to take correction”.

You’d be amazed at the things I’ve said to Jesus. I came to the conclusion years ago…”He already knows” so.I may as well tell him the truth! Trust me, he can handle it. I’ve said things to God that are so shocking I waited for lightning to hit me! But it didn’t! His love enveloped me instead…….(I testify!)

You can’t “offend him” by telling him the truth! I feel like Giving up Father! I have had about enough Father! I need you to show me Father (And let him know what you truly believe you need from him). I will give you a clue however……that when we ask him for what he already wants to give us, it’s likely to happen a lot quicker.

1 John 5:14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (NKJV) Peace! Until Next time, -Laura Grace

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All lives matter……..

JESUS IS THE ROCK.jpg

My (deep) thoughts for today……”All lives matter”….We can pray for the families that lost loved ones in this shooting…..those who died in recent storms, hurricanes…..more that died locally in traffic accidents because someone crossed the center line….snuffing out their life in a moments’ time because of carelessness, recklessness……..

That’s all we can do is pray for comfort as we cannot bring them back. Every day I hear of those who have hidden problems ….problems nobody understands. Wierd things, things they are too ashamed to even speak of……and I understand that because I’ve had some of those (unspeakable) problems that virtually nobody but God would understand…..

Here’s one I heard of this among many “a minister” who was into sadism, made his wife do unspeakable things and tortured her…who was she supposed to tell? How could she get help without someone gasping in horror? (and adding to the problem with their own fears and horror about it? LIsten all we can do is pray and be ready to reach out to OUR corner of the world….

Each of us is ONE person…….we can only do so many things in a given day….but we can make the world a better place. ONE good decision at a time..do what you can for those around you……

WE have to and need to develop the Kingdom of God within us Giving people Jesus and a true knowledge of Him and not some religious view point is the best gift we can give anyone ….a TRUE Knowledge from his heart to your heart to their heart………….the real thing…………

In HIM is all things LIfe, Peace, Answers….HOPE ……Get Jesus in you so deep you have something to give. Establish yourself on the ROCK WIth HIM then you can pull others out of the torrid waters and pray for them in Faith. This is how we can be “the best we can be” for Jesus…….get established ..ON the Rock! Amen

Then ask him to send you where you can go…..and ask him to send you those you are equipped to help. Amen -Laura grace, author Grace to the rescue and Grace to Grow 

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Con Artists & Church….Stuff nobody wants to talk about ……

It happens. If I were to tell you every story I have personally seen or heard where people fake being a christian, take advantage of the church (time and time again) with no remorse or repentance (or willingness to change) You’d be appalled.

I have been faced with a plethora of reactions when I say “Hey “There are con Artists” Watch out! Some say well You have to love ALL the time turn the other cheek……

“Well that’s not our business,” They say, “We just have to love, and be kind like Jesus said or did.” Really? He let the people sitting at his feet listening to him go hungry for three days (was it a fast?) He told a woman asking for healing for her daughter the children’s bread was not for dogs! There is no record of Jesus gathering his disciples together and saying “Come on boys, we’re going to hand out free meals today to everyone in the leper colony!”

I had a woman tell me (recently) that she tried to help someone (got burned) and after she’d helped this person ranted at her (she didn’t help enough apparently) and I have also experienced this myself.

When I was a property manager, I remember a couple who got the church to pay their deposit and rent, and moved in. They didn’t have a very good back ground check but hey, the church was helping, so we overlooked it in the interest of good will and charity. After all isn’t that what we are supposed to do? Love our neighbors? Jesus indicated brethren first and be wise (as serpents) but somehow that goes unheard by many as our examples of great humanitarians loom before us as “the great example” of how we should be.

This couple moved in, wrecked the place, made a mess that would make your hair curl, soiled carpet, ruined floors, stains, grease debris that cost the owner literally thousands to repair. They moved out owing two months rent, as it was never paid, and their promise to pay was not kept.

I’ve met people who say “Just go to the church for help,” there is a network of people who do this, and go from town to town, place to place, leaving damage, debris and sorrow in their wake. The people who get burned often feel God let them down somehow, or they just decide never to help anyone again and develop a ‘no trust” standard.

This is so sad (to me). Do we really need these extremes? Help everyone or help no one?

I know it’s hard to decide if someone is “worthy of help.” After all we do have the example of Jesus saying “Judge not” and there is this nugget:

“To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. ” Luke 6:29

But see you have to LOOK hard at the whole picture here. Verse And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. Verse 31 of this same passage says:

“And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.” 

Do you want God to just let you be a con artist? Hurting everyone as you go? Leaving a trail of destruction in your wake? Certainly the disciples were not like this. I want God’s correction don’t you? SO see the whole counsel of God is not to just let someone rape you financially and take all your goods over and over again. And sit and cry and say “God did this to me.” I was Just obeying his word!

I don’t have time to tell you all the passages about being wise (in proverbs) It saddens me that people who don’t study the bible allow leaders (who are setting some bad examples by the way) direct their paths, (instead of learning from the Holy spirit for themselves).

I too followed their examples at one time. I gave and gave and thought “Well God would reward me” and grieved the heart of God in the process. He wept for me. Every time he tried to bless me, I thought I had to give it all away. I allowed con artists to (literally) steal from me, thinking it was God’s will. If you are a person LIKE the disciples Jesus was talking to YOU WANT Corrected. Right? (if you are being a con artist?)

Don’t be afraid to call a spade a spade Or get discernment! You won’t be less in the Kingdom of God you’ll be MORE. More able to help those God wants to help…..

Less foolish and less fooled..Not deceived! Til next time; -Laura Grace

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Is the Gospel always good news? It is but not to all…..and here’s why……..

HAPPY SADI know we’ve all heard the saying “How beautiful are the feet of those, who bring good news.” (Isaiah 52:7) And even Jesus himself quoted Isaiah, letting everyone know he was the fullfillment of Isaiah’s prophecies, about a coming saviour, bringing Good News. 

To many of the Chief Priests and Pharisees, this was not good news. I was reading this morning how they yelled and screamed for him to be crucified. “He said he’s the Son of God” they said “Crucify Him!” (John 19:6). To the disciples who were told “Ye of Little Faith” by Jesus- (while in training) perhaps it didn’t always “Feel like” good news to them, either. Man always has an answer HE thinks is best, and God always has an answer. 

When the two do not agree, worlds collide.

We need to be aware of our choices, and what answer we are going to give creedence to.  I want to remember that those who stopped following Jesus, did not get anymore answers, or correction from God. He doesn’t throw his pearls out-for those who tend to trample on them. An idol is something that we give more creedence to than God and that CAN BE our circumstance, or problem sometimes. 

IN other words what is bigger to me? God, or my problem (the giant) I am facing? Jesus followers ask these hard questions. Those who don’t do not, and blame God for every single outcome (good or bad). So then, the gospel is always “Good News” but not to some. 

We (sometimes) try to bend it, twist it or even water it down to make it more palatable, but that is not wise. Oh Sure, God knows our hearts (I just wanted them to get it Lord!) 

But, we don’t need to “adjust” God’s word so that it “feels more” Like good news to those who won’t listen. We Don’t have to make it into Good News, It already is. The Good news is God is speaking (and has spoken) the question is: Are we listening to Him? Or something else? Incline your ear (toward him) Proverbs 2. If you care to…..

with love and prayers and blessing to you all 

Laura Grace

 

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UNRESPONSIVE! Unanswered prayers and hardened hearts: Is He the Lord of your prayer life?

Yes. The bible was written by men inspired of the Holy Spirit to write. Just as I am doing right now! I have this need to share with you why some prayers seem to go unanswered, for this is the biggest reason many get discouraged, give up, and no longer come to God. Our relationship with him is everything!

If we lose that, what do we have? Nothing! SO these are things are know to be true, both from my experience, from the Holy Spirit teaching me …..and from God’s word. Here are 7 prayers that God “can’t answer……: the way you wish. Before I share it I want to share a story with you. 

When I was in high school, I prayed every single day to be in this “small group” of singers I wanted to travel with. Every day I prayed. Day in, and Day out “YOU SAID FATHER” ask what you will and it shall be done!” (I said) so please give me favor, put me in this group. 

I even shared with him why I needed it to happen. I had good reasons too! It didn’t happen and I was torn between being upset with the Director or upset with God. See, I felt I NEEDED IT TO HAPPEN and it was a reasonable request. I was having a horribly rough time in high school, had no friends, my life was in shambles…..and I was praying for this one good thing to happen for me. I had other dreams not come true for me (many) and by the way I practiced (for the audition) …Oh how I wanted this one thing to come true for me! And in my heart I thought “If you will just do this, I will serve you forever!”

…….Well it didn’t happen. And my Faith was reaching out with Maximum Force! It seemed to be the God of the Universe had to see my heart and how very important this was to me. I took it as a no, which led to me thinking he didn’t care……

But it was not a no ……And I wish I had known this a very long time ago! 

Here is what God has shown me since then (so long ago) ..as I continually pursue knowing him as my savior and Lord: 

#1 God won’t answer prayers that take away a person’s free will. Now yes if they want to Kill you and God doesn’t want you dead, yes he can intercede for you! I”m talking about forced salvation, or praying someone “serves God” if they have no desire to do so. At all! HE sees their heart! If you prayed for someone this way and they got saved, it’s only because they already had a desire to see him, know him, or get saved. God doesn’t take prisoners. Only satan does that, not God.

#2 Prayers that go against who he is. God could have just killed Pharoah (to set the captives free) why didn’t he? Because, he is just. He is fair, he is Holy, he is kind and he is longsuffering. You can see God’s mercy toward Pharoah in how he dealt with him. And yes his children did suffer more, while awaiting their day of deliverance. If they prayed God would just “Kill” Pharoah (to hurry up the process) no, God did not answer……that prayer, the way they wished.

#3 Prayers to plant seeds where there is hard hearts or hardened soil. God is wise. He’s a great farmer. IF you are praying to plant a seed (of his word) in a hardened heart, he already told us in Matthew that seeds on rocky soil fall by the way. A better prayer is to ask him to plow up the soil of their heart (in this case) We need to be led by His Spirit in how we pray. I really believe (again) God will not go against “WHO HE IS” He remains true to himself! Therefore, we are wise to ask for his wisdom! (In Prayer).

#4 Prayers that put the flesh ahead of the Spirit our Soul. Yes, he wants to heal. He does! Often God will heal people because he knows if he does, they will believe (in him) and get saved. Other times there is justice involved, such as answering the prayer of another person who is petitioning him endlessly to heal someone HOWEVER as a rule, God does not put flesh ahead of the Spirit. He is always more interested in the condition of our heart than he is about our bodies.

Therefore, instead of just saying “God must not want to heal” It is better to say ….so what’s the Hold Up Father? Why are they not getting well? Tell us your heart on the matter? Don’t just assume he doesn’t want to heal someone! There are cases where God withholds a promise for a time- to get a better promise from you! (Covenant!). Every case is different! I will tell you this……If you keep your heart centered on what he wants (vs what you want) IN YOUR RELATIONSHP WITH HIM Things will go much better for you.

#5 Prayers that make others stumble. You can pray for revival, (in your church) and that’s fine, but we need to keep in mind how much God loves his people. If they only want to eat vegetables (and have chicken soup for the soul, vs meat) God respects that, and their wishes. He doesn’t love them any less, just because they do not wish to partake of all the great things you have experienced! So I have learned this the hard way, some do not wish to have steak! If they are content in God with what they have an love him, it’s a trespass to barge in and insist they have or eat things “your way.” Amen?

#6 Prayers that do not glorify Him. Does it really glorify him if you get a million dollars, and spend it on whatever you want? One thing that scares me is I do believe in some cases, when a person keeps on and on in faith (without Love for God) the devil might just step in and answer! You see he has signs and wonders too (signs and lying wonders). So don’t assume because that “other person” got everything they wanted (and did not do it God’s way) Got the answer from God! WE NEED to understand that God our Father does not go against his own word. He’s not going to say “seek ye first my kingdom” and then grant people big piles of money so they can skip over everything he said, without a consequence. What God does always brings people closer to him…………….

As that is his Number #1 Mission. We know this, because he did not deny us his own Son, who went to a bloody and horrible death on a cross to save us. (and he did NOT deserve it, we did!).

7. Things you can do for yourself (you are lazy, or just won’t, or whatever) AS HIS child if you just don’t want to seek a job (bring me a Job Father) Or you won’t talk to your wife “Just tell her to be nice to me God” Or in my Case “Father please help so and so do thus and so” yeah. I have not had any luck with praying for others to do my bidding! Now if you have tried to communicate and they won’t listen, perhaps God will have you pray they have a listening ear or their ears are opened to hear BUT……

Do not get caught up in formulas! I KNOW this is hard to hear, but People are not objects! Every case is not the same. People are as unique as snowflakes …..

Therefore, If we don’t want our Faith to be shipwrecked, or wind up discouraged, or feeling our prayers are all in vain, we do well to heed these words: 

 

1 John 5:14 “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.

16 If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life for those who commit sin not leading to death. There is sin leading to death. I do not say that he should pray about that. 17 All unrighteousness is sin, and there is sin not leading to death.”

on top of that we have: 

Romans 8:27 Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.

From the upcoming book “Relationship is everything!” by Laura Grace