Category: Bullying and abuse

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How to Guard your Heart by Laura Grace

Laura GraceLeave a comment

gate heart Be a Gate Keeper! Guard the Soul 

I think there are a lot of Christians out there, like me, who truly do not know how to guard their heart. First and fore most we must give more weight to the voice of the Shepherd than anyone else.

We don’t need pretty lies of exaggerating how wonderful we are, and we don’t need Input from amateur counselors or the peanut factories. We certainly don’t need help allowing unbelief! 

Because we are “word of God” people, we think if we can’t rebuke it, cast it out or get it gone via spiritual warfare, we are failing somehow. Not true.

Some people just ‘are what they are” and we must learn how to deal with it!

  1. Step number one we need to keep learning and meditating on who we are to Jesus. that knowledge must become so real to us, nobody can talk us out of it. If the voice of someone else’s opinion of us screams louder than what God says, we must reinforce what he says about us until it’s more real than anything else. 
  1. In keeping with that train of thought, the accuser of the brethren (the devil) is always going to try to remind you of your past. That’s his job. He is evil. He isn’t going to stop so you must learn to overcome him with YOUR TESTIMONY. You speak it to him: “I am saved, God’s child, I’ve been forgiven of that” and if the person who is allowing the enemy to “USE THEM” to accuse you keeps it up, start to ignore it. It’s the best defense you have. IGNORE IT. You can’t argue with demons.

 

You can’t cast them out of someone who wants to stay that way. No, they may not be demon-possessed- they just listen to his lies and it’s become a part of them, like WEEDS. You cannot go into someone else’s garden and start yanking weeds out. You are trespassing! You are going to have to ignore it and tend to your own garden. Not what you want to hear, but true. Change the subject, dodge the questions, or say “I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

 

  1. Do not ask for counsel from those who have no clue what you are talking about, or what you have been through. I don’t care what their credentials are or how much they “seem” to care. Ask God who you should talk to about something. SEEK HIM FIRST! He is your Shepherd, your counselor and your friend, and he is always listening. 
  1. You live in the world, so best to get started learning how to cope with things. Go to a rest room or go outside and pray. I’ve done this over the years, went to my car. Prayed, or even went to a restroom, prayed in whispers asking God for help, wisdom and guidance. I assume everything I go through he is RIGHT THERE WITH ME because he said he would be.

 

  1. Family can be the hardest, because they knew you before you knew Jesus. Family has expectations that often feel like obligations. If we are a good sister, daughter, mom or son we will do this or that supposedly. Jesus told his own mom he was going about the Father’s business, but another time he did change water to wine because she asked him to do something about the situation. There are no pat answers, we must learn to say; “I am praying” I am “seeking God” and let everyone know (including your family) you are on a mission to do God’s will. We are not born “being like Jesus’ It’s something we are walking out.

 

  1. Whatever weapons you know of right now (with God) use them, he will add to your skills as you use what he gave you. I started out a Lutheran Just ‘praying the Lord’s prayer” and now I know all kinds of spiritual warfare tactics. God is not in a hurry. You are in a school called life and he is willing to walk with you as your Father and help you to grow.

 

  1. Learn from your experiences, write them down. Use a Journal use the computer and ask God to teach you in EACH situation how to handle it better next time. I have noticed things I run from I will usually face again, so best to learn to overcome it.

 

  1. Give that other person the benefit of the doubt, whenever you can. Did they mean to hurt you or were they hurting themselves, distracted, or just clueless? We need to ask God “Why is this happening? Or “what do you want me to learn from this?”

There are some people who are just plain bullies, but what about the mandate to love them?Do we keep taking the hurt?

If I tell someone something wounds my soul and they keep doing it anyway, I am probably going to pull away from that person.  When you go, say a prayer and give it to Jesus. Be willing to be reconciled later, if that’s what he wants you to do. 

WHEN we guard our heart it’s not just against people. WE protect our heart from becoming bitter, angry, full of self-pity, and a host of other things the devil sends at us. There is no end to the things he will try, to destroy our very hearts. Do you know why?

BECAUSE my friends, that’s where the word of God gets planted and takes root. It’s where he speaks to us. It’s where rivers of life flow out of us!

Satan would rather take you out than take out a church building. If he can take you out, he has stopped the flow of God’s spirit to hundreds, or perhaps thousands of people due to the ripple effect. (you touch a life, they touch a life, and so on and so on and so on).  Some people gaurd a church building more zealously than they protect their own hearts from the evil one. It’s a full time job! 

 

 Guard your heart! It’s where your inheritance lies. It’s worth fighting for.

 

Laura Grace, Author, Grace to Grow Click here to Buy:

https://www.amazon.com/Grace-Grow-study-guide-Rescue-ebook/dp/B077L71XP1/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525753636&sr=8-1&keywords=grace+to+grow+by+Laura+grace

 

Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Prov 4:23

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Once upon a time there was a girl….

Laura GraceLeave a comment

Once upon a time there was this girl. She 30. She had two small children and a typewriter but she couldn’t afford any ink. God spoke to her and told her she would write a book someday.

She told her pastor he said “you need to know what kind of book”. She prayed about that too, and asked God, but did not receive a reply.Over 20 years later- when her kids were grown, she wrote her book while having two jobs and a busy life as Total domestic support to her husband.

She wrote an hour here, and an hour there, praying the whole time.

She submitted every page of it to two different ministers making herself accountable and opening up herself for critique.

That Girl is me, and the book is Grace to the Rescue.

It’s been republished 3 times now, the last time my friend spent hours re doing the cover. This is due to faulty publishing and typing errors (for which she received much criticism).

The book has been edited and prayed over again. She has not given up!

It’s a testimony of Grace more powerful than most can imagine. It’s a story of redemption, tenacity, faith, and hanging in there when the odds are against you……..

It’s a book about how GOD IS THERE no matter what through thick and thin. He provides, he does miracles, he sees you through when you refuse to give up on him helping.

LIke Jacob she hung on. Like the prodigal, she came home. Like Abraham she believed for a city that is of God. Like Joshua, she took the land, and like the women of faith she took the job of motherhood to be the highest calling on earth…….

And she fought the fight of faith along with her friends who love God too, and she prevailed in Him. She read the entire bible! She knows who the heroes of Faith are, and she strove to become like them.

Now I am highly honored that one of those ministers is featuring me on her page (Eagles Way Ministries) a woman who has stood in Faith with God for many years now, spending most of her free time in fasting, prayer and Study. And why does she do this, you may ask?

For the sole purpose of Doing God’s will For her life. For you see, she is in covenant with him, and so is her ministry partner, and so am I ……and Hopefully……so are you.

Yes I had to get divorced. It was not a union that was meant to be. It was destroying me. That is not God’s will for a person’s life. I moved over 20 times ad gave up everything to save this marraige. It was impossible. Irretrievably broken.

I had a woman in Wisconsin tell me she couldn’t put the book down it’s the only book she ever read besides her bible. I had others (Trish, Lorna, Lori, Jan and many others) Tell me what a great book it is. Leza edited it the very first time. Missy has been a huge support and cheerleader to me as well.

Thomas came to every book signing! I’ve actually had a lot of love and support but sometimes it’s easier to see the attacks when they are vehemently against you than all the love and support you’ve had.

Maybe I didn’t say how bad the suffering was or really get across Why I had to leave him….

But I had to. My children needed me to. They had to see me press on for better, and that abundant life God promised me. Otherwise, who would show them the way?

Sitting and being abused by your spouse is not a good path for your children to follow. So all naysayers out there, I don’t care what you think anymore. I’ve been free from that horrendous abuse for 16 years this year The same amount of years I suffered under it.

Let me tell you something; If you stand up to abuse maybe it will SAVE YOUR MARRAIGE! In my case it didn’t. Either way you shouldn’t Take abuse day after day and tell your children that’s God’s will for your life.

Not good. If you ever see YOUR child suffer abuse you won’t be so quick to say I should have stayed and took it forever. God’s word was never meant to be something that keeps us in a cage. Do you tell children if their parents abuse them “Obey them?” NO YOU get them out! why are people so scared of books about deliverance from a bad marraige? They are afraid it will cause everyone to “Run to sin” of divorce. That’s just silly.

I”ve been on this wall every day now proving to everyone I love God and how I”ve grown and AM growing. I wrote this book before they started having abuse stories on focus on the family. I had people act like I had the plague because I wrote it. It was painful but I am over it now. I will never apologize for my book again. I must admit for a time, since I’ve had more come at me pointing fingers and trying to make me ashamed than anything else, I did have regrets. Nobody has any idea how hard it’s been to keep my faith Going to BELIEVE I did what God told me to do. I will be justified in the end.

Thank you Lord for the support of Friends, true friends who have prayed for me through all of this. Love you friends!

Laura Grace and thank you Ministers Stace and Kay for your support al these years and for this honor:

http://eaglesway.org/links/laura-grace/  

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When your give a dang gets broken….. Jesus sticks up for you! And the sin of unjust criticism………..

Laura GraceLeave a comment

KODAK Digital Still Camera

I’m going to be transparent with you today. Sometimes if I have given (and given) all that I have, and someone gets critical about how I did it, There is a point where I just want to give up on giving at all. There is a song about it and it basically says “My give a dang is broken.”  In the world of biblically-correct Christians, it’s not okay to say that. Leaders go through it (at times) pastors of all kinds, even Mom’s who love their children dearly, experience this phenomina. Pastors and Moms have something in comnon too: They don’t dare say so “in front of the children.” 

I won’t go into the reasons, We’ll just say some days “it all adds up” on us until we reach the tilting point or boiling point, as we may call it. I took it out on someone who did not deserve my wrath (and it’s happened before) All because criticism when I have given it all I’ve got, tends to send me through the roof at times. 

The passage “God loves a Cheerful Giver” was going through my mind. I decided I was not cheerful, so maybe I should not have given at all. Maybe I should not minister at all! I was about to give up, when Jesus came on the scene with his rivers of Living Water and Mighty flood of revelation! 

He said to me “It’s what it cost you” that is getting to you.” And then “Criticism under that cirumstance, is a sin.” 

The story of the widow’s mite came to mind. “She gave all she had to live on” Jesus said and not from her abundance, but she gave all she had.” (Mark 12). 

I know what Jesus is talking about here. I had a friend who typed me letters of encouagement with braces on his hands, because the pain in his hands was so bad he had to wear braces to do it. I just had someone tell me of a gift they are sending that cost them “all they have.” If you’ve ever given your last minute, your only day off, your only 5.00, or given up your only vacation to do something nice for someone else, you know exactly what I am talking about. Smug little sinners with no clue say things like, “Well You should not Martyr yourself!” or they might use a different passage of scripture (God loves a cheerful giver!). 

I have a friend that works full time, and even on weekends at times, but she uses what little free time she has to post helpful scripture on the internet. She Loves Jesus and she gives ALL she has to live on (her wee bit of rest time sometimes) to bless others. When I see someone going on her FB wall having to “correct her” with their “Opinion” I wish I could go and say, “What is your problem?” 

My aghast response to their treachery, is not so far from How Jesus sees it. (He told me so!) However, he also lets me know that he sees every thing we give, and why. 

When someone gives all they have, their last day, minute, breath, or even dollar, (in his Name for his purpose) he sees it, and he commends them for it. Why did Jesus commend that woman? Because, he wanted to get a point across about giving it all (and what it means to him!). Anyone who unjustly criticises those who are giving it all, are sinning against Jesus himself, not just that person. 

Now I ask you? How many people are supposedly “anti-bullying” and yet unjustly criticise the Lord’s servants, who are giving it all they’ve got? So now, what to do about it? GIVE AS UNTO JESUS and let the geese that bite you on the nose after you have helped them, go find their own bread. We need to be about the Father’s business, and doing what he has said to do! 

Later Jesus told his disciples “When you enter a house, speak peace to it and if they do not receive it, your peace will return to you.” Whatever you have done for others will be returned to you………No labor of love is in vain. (Jesus’ promised us this). 

41 Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. 42 Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites, which make a quadrans. 43 

So He called His disciples to Himself and said to them, “Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; 44 for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood.” Mark 12:41-44

 

Laura Grace, Author, Grace to Grow

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Relationship #2 No Drama “YOU” are you who you want to be?

Laura GraceLeave a comment

Relationship 9

Relationships #2 YOU (Is at the core of every relationship.) Are you who you want to be?

“Being Real” is something we hear all the time. You should “be real” (They say). But it’s not defined. What does being real mean to you? Your anger (about social injustice) outrage (over the issues of life) or even grief, pain, sorrow…..(over untold Losses)

That’s not WHO you really are. is it? No. At the core or heart of relationship-is who WE are. If we don’t like ourselves how do we expect others to like us? If we are not at peace with ourselves, how can anyone else be at peace with us?

Can anyone MAKE us happy? (including God?). I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the man at the pool of Bathesda, (in John, chapter 5) where he said “do you want to be made well?”

Mental health is every bit as important (if not more important) than physical health. Many of us were “messed up” in our minds over things that happened throughout our lives. Abuse. Bullying. Social Injustices. And you don’t have to be a minority to experience discrimination, favoritism, and being left out by those ‘Elitists.”

It all hurts, and it all affects us (deeply) in our hearts.

A whole (Healed) Person has a Healed Soul and Mind. Did you notice Jesus dealt with this man’s heart? (and mind?) “Do you want to be well?”

Do you want to be made well? God asked me one time if I wanted Restoration or Compensation! (Wow!) I chose Restoration. Compensation is what you get when you sue someone over what was done to you. Or get “payment” for your loss.

I don’t want compensation. I want restoration! I choose life!

Even in relationships we have to ask this question: “do we want to get along?” (or do we just want to argue?). Do we want to do the work it takes to have a great relationship?

What’s important to us? What matters most? And truly “WHO” do we wish to be? A fighter? Scrapper? Conquerer? Leader of the band? Or do we wish to have our identity forever be “continual victim” because we believe this is our lot in life?

1.Who do you want to be? And why? God really wants to know! Let him know who you would like to be! Then ask “what he wants you to be!” This is relationship at it’s finest. TWO WAY (not one way).

2. Make peace with yourself (However long it takes)

3. Be a friend (to yourself) And receive all God has for you. This will make you a better friend to others…in the long run (and a better spouse, better employeee, and so on and so forth). This means “Being willing to take correction”.

You’d be amazed at the things I’ve said to Jesus. I came to the conclusion years ago…”He already knows” so.I may as well tell him the truth! Trust me, he can handle it. I’ve said things to God that are so shocking I waited for lightning to hit me! But it didn’t! His love enveloped me instead…….(I testify!)

You can’t “offend him” by telling him the truth! I feel like Giving up Father! I have had about enough Father! I need you to show me Father (And let him know what you truly believe you need from him). I will give you a clue however……that when we ask him for what he already wants to give us, it’s likely to happen a lot quicker.

1 John 5:14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (NKJV) Peace! Until Next time, -Laura Grace

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Love hurts….but it’s the only way to live…..by Laura Grace

Laura GraceLeave a comment

hurt and pain         How do you handle hurt and pain? Lash back? Teach them a lesson? Give them a “what for?” 

There are times (not often) in my life it just all adds up. The person you spent hours of time helping Listening, taking them somewhere, anywhere so they could feel better. You layed aside your plans for them, then they write you off and forget you because of the 101th time you didn’t show up, or say what they wanted you to say. 

There’s the people who take and take and skip away to the next blessing, or those who ask you to turn yourself inside out to be there for them, but won’t bend an inch to be there for you because hey, they have standards! Yes I’ve seen many blessings in my life but let’s face it, in some areas, we may never seem to reap what we sowed. We sow blessing, they sow hate. We sow love, they see it as weakness, and walk all over the place and stomp on our hearts. Sometimes the love we sow feels like it’s running through a seive, and we watch it go down the drain never to be seen ……again……..

Some people we love and pray for are just obvlious, for years and years and years, that the only outlet they have left us is praying to our heavenly Father on their behalf. They scorn us, make fun of us, have a good time taking out on US their anger and frustration at God (whom they have never known, nor tried to know). and that’s okay because hey we christians are SUPPOSED TO LOVE It’s our Job! Right? 

How well I remember the times I was reminded (if I dared to step out of line) that I was a christian (supposed to love) and they well they……were just unaccountable, ignorant, hurting more than me supposedly. There are those who assume if we are kind to them in the face of their rage or anger, that we just must LIKE being the way we are. 

No. We go home and cry, salty tears that run to our lips like the bitter vinegar Jesus drank on the cross. We cry until it feels like our guts will explode. And we do it because we are in a battle not to hate them back. We are going to win because Jesus is on our side. but let me tell you something: I UNDERSTAND The battle to love. I truly do…

I don’t know why sometimes we are compelled to keep loving people who hurt us all the time. Maybe their heart cry is “Father please don’t give up on me’ so we show up and we don’t give up. I don’t know…..Maybe they are praying for God’s love……

and you were just the vessel to show up and do it. Maybe they weren’t grateful or kind. That’s up to God to deal with, not you.  Only don’t let them destroy you ….beat you ? yes maybe. Take your soul? NO WAY No how! ….Do not let it happen. 

I trust God to show me when to give up on someone, and when not to. when to try and again, and when to stop. it’s not based on my feelings or my personal comfort…….I can tell you that. It’s not based on some doctrine that says I have to take abuse or punishment. BUT THERE ARE TIMES We hurt because someone doesn’t have the sense to see they are hurting us. They have not yet come to their senses. they are captive to the evil one…..

Therefore, It’s a personal Journey. 

I”ve never seen anger heal anyone. I’ve never seen a butt chewing change a person. What changes people is love (if they can RECEIVE IT!!!) …….

IF THEY CAN RECEIVE IT…..

So see maybe if they can’t ……stop trying so hard….and let it go….let them go…..

Until they can receive it…..

and yes your heart will break, as you watch them go…..

and pray when it’s all over, you are still able to love…..it’s the only way 

-Laura Grace-

abuse of power · Being Bullied · bullied · Bullying · Bullying and abuse · Uncategorized

On Feeling or being Bullied ……..

Laura GraceLeave a comment

bully

NOUN [PLURAL BUL·LIES.]
1.a blustering, quarrelsome, overbearing person who habitually badgers and intimidates smaller or weaker people.
I’ve seen my share of bullying, in my time.  Bullying is intimidation, and bullies like to harass people in the dark corners, where there are no witnesses, and no place to hide. 
For me, it started in school, with getting teased over the type of shoes I wore. One time, I had 6th grade girls surround me, and tease me relentlessly about my pants. They were all in agreement. A big group of girl bullies, intent on making me feel like an outcast.
 
“Where’d ya get the pants Laura?” And they laughed, snickered, shunned me. I never wore those pants again.
Later, I got bullied about food stamps. I’ve been bullied by drug users who harassed me about being too straight. One time on a school bus, I was tormented about my hair, the entire 10 miles to school. I started riding my bike after that, (ten miles a day!) Just to avoid the bullies.
In the USAF, I was harassed down south, for being friends with a black sergeant, who was also a minister. They accused me of becoming like him, so I went out and got my hair done ‘Afro style’ and said, yes I am becoming like him! I was tired of the endless harassment for not fitting in or being the way “society” said I should be.
The endless harassment over my clothes (all through school) Led to me not caring what people think about my clothes. I didn’t get compensation, or special favors at the bank, or hiring preference, or anything like that, as a result of my bullying. I simply learned, not to care what these cheese heads think, about me!
So now, if anyone tells me I’m out of style? I am unaffected! I wear what I want to wear, and I fix my hair the way I want to. It worked out for my good, somehow.
Both of my kids were bullied too, at one time or another and some was pretty severe.
I’m not sure we can stop the process of “elitism,” or the mean streak, that seems to arise in insecure persons, who have no boundaries, and want to call us names.
Shall we sentence them to a year of duct tape over their mouths? (Sigh) I don’t know the answer. All I know is, I learned a long time ago, to let it go in one ear and out the other.
What you THINK Of me does not make me “who I am.”
 
And the definition above is true. If we don’t see ourselves as weak or small, they cannot BULLY US any longer. The devil is the biggest bully of all.
We have assault laws in place already, and thou shalt not beat someone up for no reason. What Laws could possibly help, when bullies hide in the dark shadows, deny what they say, and even if we manage to shut them up, continue to slither around, looking for the next victim to harass!
What really gives bullies their power? 
Knowing you are afraid of them.
If we no longer are, we take away their power. 
Stand up. walk tall. Learn to be confident!
Bullies cannot get you, when you are not small or weak. 
Ecclesiastes 7:19 Wisdom strengthens the wise more than ten mighty men which are in the city.
-Laura Grace