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Relationships 5 “No More Drama not even for your mama” the dark underbelly of “Control” (Part 1)

Control vs influence conTROL VS INFLUENCE Jesus.jpg

 Have you ever had anyone come on your FB wall and argue, and argue, and argue (Until you finally have to delete them?) Because if you don’t, the message you are trying to get across is lost in a sea of debate? It reminds me of when we were kids, and played “king of the hill.” Whoever could push you off your stance on the mount “became King!” …..

Control: To direct a person or animal to behave a certain way. To have power over something. Authority: the power to or right to make decisions, or direct (It is given) 

See the difference? One is given. One is assumed. Stephen had authority given by God to speak. A mob of controllers silenced him because they were cut to the heart (conviction). Acts 7:54-59

What is it? If you’ve spent any time on the internet, You’ve probably experienced control. It’s the counterfeit of Authority. Jesus spoke as “one who had authority” He did not argue with people, or try to talk over top of them.

He didn’t whine about how intolerant people are. He found those who wanted to listen.

If you notice, Jesus didn’t talk about “his rights’  His Authority came from the Father in Heaven. He walked in it by simply “going about his Father’s business.”  (Luke 2:49).

His Authority was questioned in Matthew 21. (by the Pharisees). He wisely refused to answer them. He knew their tricks.

Control starts with fear. Not fear like Fear of snakes or bugs, but fear of conviction or being exposed. Sometimes fear of not beng “in power or in control (of that which they wish to control!) Fear of hearing the truth..(and having to make adjustments). 

It was control (in a mob mentality) that made them stone Stephen to death Acts 7:54-59.

Controlling people will often accuse you of being controlling. Here is the difference. You have authority over your house, your face book, your car, your “twitter account” and before all that, your mind, your will and your emotions. God gave you freedom (from the evil one) when he sent Jesus to the cross.

He spoiled all those powers and triumphed over them, “making a show of them” openly. (Col 2:15).

People may have different things they want control of (and to put a lid on things) but the motive is always the same. “I am in control.” Ever heard that expression,” I”ve got it all under control?” Yes, you have! You may have even said it! Controlling people will talk over the top of you, not let you get a word in edgewise, and will use all sorts of tactics to “shut you up.” Why? Because they don’t wish to hear you. If you put them in their place, they will often call you: “conrolling!” 

I pray Father in Jesus’ name as I consider and reveal about control (and where it comes from) you will help us all learn YOUR ways and not man’s ways about how to deal with this. I pray this Father “LET THERE BE LIGHT” In all areas of our souls, hearts, and minds that comes only from you Dear Father!”

In Jesus’ name “deliver us” from the evil one, cause us to escape his lies, which have been growing like weeds since that day he entered this earth. In Jesus’ name. (amen)

-stay tuned for part 2. Laura Grace control vs influence.png   Author, speaker, minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ 

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Relationship #2 No Drama “YOU” are you who you want to be?

Relationship 9

Relationships #2 YOU (Is at the core of every relationship.) Are you who you want to be?

“Being Real” is something we hear all the time. You should “be real” (They say). But it’s not defined. What does being real mean to you? Your anger (about social injustice) outrage (over the issues of life) or even grief, pain, sorrow…..(over untold Losses)

That’s not WHO you really are. is it? No. At the core or heart of relationship-is who WE are. If we don’t like ourselves how do we expect others to like us? If we are not at peace with ourselves, how can anyone else be at peace with us?

Can anyone MAKE us happy? (including God?). I am reminded of the story of Jesus and the man at the pool of Bathesda, (in John, chapter 5) where he said “do you want to be made well?”

Mental health is every bit as important (if not more important) than physical health. Many of us were “messed up” in our minds over things that happened throughout our lives. Abuse. Bullying. Social Injustices. And you don’t have to be a minority to experience discrimination, favoritism, and being left out by those ‘Elitists.”

It all hurts, and it all affects us (deeply) in our hearts.

A whole (Healed) Person has a Healed Soul and Mind. Did you notice Jesus dealt with this man’s heart? (and mind?) “Do you want to be well?”

Do you want to be made well? God asked me one time if I wanted Restoration or Compensation! (Wow!) I chose Restoration. Compensation is what you get when you sue someone over what was done to you. Or get “payment” for your loss.

I don’t want compensation. I want restoration! I choose life!

Even in relationships we have to ask this question: “do we want to get along?” (or do we just want to argue?). Do we want to do the work it takes to have a great relationship?

What’s important to us? What matters most? And truly “WHO” do we wish to be? A fighter? Scrapper? Conquerer? Leader of the band? Or do we wish to have our identity forever be “continual victim” because we believe this is our lot in life?

1.Who do you want to be? And why? God really wants to know! Let him know who you would like to be! Then ask “what he wants you to be!” This is relationship at it’s finest. TWO WAY (not one way).

2. Make peace with yourself (However long it takes)

3. Be a friend (to yourself) And receive all God has for you. This will make you a better friend to others…in the long run (and a better spouse, better employeee, and so on and so forth). This means “Being willing to take correction”.

You’d be amazed at the things I’ve said to Jesus. I came to the conclusion years ago…”He already knows” so.I may as well tell him the truth! Trust me, he can handle it. I’ve said things to God that are so shocking I waited for lightning to hit me! But it didn’t! His love enveloped me instead…….(I testify!)

You can’t “offend him” by telling him the truth! I feel like Giving up Father! I have had about enough Father! I need you to show me Father (And let him know what you truly believe you need from him). I will give you a clue however……that when we ask him for what he already wants to give us, it’s likely to happen a lot quicker.

1 John 5:14 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. (NKJV) Peace! Until Next time, -Laura Grace

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Little Kids in Big Kid’s Clothing……What is a mature Christian? Do we even know?

Good Morning! dress up 2.jpg

A lot of stuff we call “sin” is just simple immaturity. I’ve watched Christians for years now, and I’ve been one myself! Still am! But here’s the thing, k? We go to church, we get saved, we are told that God doesn’t see sin when he looks at us anymore, He sees us In Christ (because of what Jesus did for us, amen?).

Then we start to worry about sin. I feel fear, I must be sinning, I looked at someone and thought bad thoughts …..oh dear I am sinning again! When will this ever stop? We feel good when we overcome what we deem to be sin, such as overeating, not caring about church, honoring or not honoring our parents, and so on, and so forth, and so on.

This type of thinking also leads to hyper-vigilance about other people’s sins. “DID YOU SEE THAT?”(We say), “The way she was dressed, in church?” DID YOU SEE (that she is not married, and lives with a guy?) Did you KNOW “I heard” he’s a thief, and a liar! 

Sin sniffers! They remind me of children. “Mom, Jeffrey is touching the grapes, that you told him not to touch, MOM MOM MOM!” People go to church, they hear a great sermon, and go out into the world. The sermon was about how drinking and carrying on is the “way of the wicked,” so when they see someone doing those things, they go up and say, “You know, I pray for you, Jesus loves you, he doesn’t want you doing that stuff.” That is not Evangelism. And, It’s not what we are called to do. 



One who considers themselves to be MORE Mature might just pray, and when the party animal tells them how much they drank yesterday, they might say “I see, well, I don’t do that stuff anymore, since I met Jesus!” (and consider this to be witnessing for Christ.). As children, while we may be “cute’ to our parents……WE really don’t have a clue (for quite awhile!) Do we? Furthermore, if we don’t listen to the life lessons (that our parents are trying to teach us) we remain clueless! 

God doesn’t mind if we are immature, he probably even thinks we are cute! The problem (that we fail to see at times) is that the rest of the world can see it, also. 

Most Christians want to learn how to be a better witness, but deep down, they really don’t know how. That’s why I share what I share (and I hope to get better at it) And why I will continue the mission of sharing (for the sake of God’s people) WE NEED TO GROW CHURCH! When I have had the honor of leading someone to Christ, they were ready (God drew them, seeds had been planted, and were watered) so I am nothing but a harvester (by his Grace). I am not a policeman for Jesus! (Selah, think on this) 

Then they got “BORN AGAIN” Not just talked into going to church…….(and maybe stopped going, because they weren’t born again, not hungry, it did nothing for them.) 

I have not come this far (In Christ) to go back and play “Little Kid Games’ when the world so desperately needs to see Jesus. Look, I’m not trying to be mean here, but really? REALLY Church? THE MANDATE we see in our bible IS Grace to Grow! This is for the believers. GROW……GROW it says……(Ephesians 1) GROW IN Grace…..

What non believers are doing is not really our business…….Come on church! I heard a preacher say once “When I was on my way to hell, I was going in style, with a bottle in one hand and a girl on each arm.” …….to run up to someone and point out how sinful they are is childish, trespassing, and it’s wrong. GOD doesn’t even do that! 

How did you come to Christ? Were you drawn by his love and Grace, or were you told what a big hairy sinner you are? (And beaten into submission?). If you went to church to be moral, straighten up your act, and become a self-righteous Pharisee, you are in worse shape than those who are drinking, drugging and living it up! A rampant sinner that cries for mercy has “MORE HOPE” Than you have!!! ……….

So let’s get our eyes off what “everyone else is doing” and how wicked they are, and get back to growing up ourselves! Amen! -Laura Grace, Author, Grace to Grow, Grace to Grow the Study Guide, Grace to soar…….and others. Peace! dress up.jpg

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Know it alls & One-uppers! Do we know how to listen? (Grace to Grow)

know-it-allBoy I tell ya……….OH Good morning by the way! 

Know it alls…..one uppers…….Or People who just have to be the center of attention, or who always have to be “right.” Ever met anyone like this? You just get the feeling they are not listening, but chomping at the bit, waiting for their turn to talk. 

I’ve had some experience with being a talk -a-holic. I can remember some comments my husband has made to me such as “You’ve been talking for an hour straight, without taking a breath” (this was a few years ago) Or sometimes I would stop on my own and say, “I’ve been hogging the conversation,” To which he would reply “Help! I”m talking and I can’t shut up!” (making fun of me!). When we first got together, 14 years ago now, I was just in desperate need to be “in control” Of the conversation at all times. 

My goal? Well, sometimes it was to get him to understand me (which is about me) or to get him to see it my way (also about me) to get him to agree with me (about me again!) OR sometimes to straighten him out! How easily our desire to help, can easily turn into an ego trip. I have, in the past found myself saying “WELL, if they aren’t going to listen to me then………They can just go their own way!” (Crossing my arms, thinking I won’t put them out unless they are on fire!) All signs of immaturity by the way. 

But, there is the art of listening, too. You know, years ago, When I first found out I’d been taught some things wrong (even about what it says in my bible) I kind of decided to not listen, and I shut people out in an effort to guard my heart. It does say in the bible to guard our hearts, but it is also possible to get to a point where, we can retain what we believe, and still listen to what others have to say about a matter. 

Being hyper-vigilant can be extreme. We can calmly say; “I don’t agree.” however there is a problem when, the other person chooses not to respect what we believe. I have noticed, especially in politics, many who believe in freedom to believe as they wish (so they say) are very hypocritical, attacking and slamming others for THEIR beliefs, while at the same time maintaining that “others’ shall not shout them down or “ram’ their beliefs down their throats. WE are seeing those who say “I don’t want to hear that christian stuff” while they attempt to force others to believe (how they believe) and even try to make laws to enforce it. So, before I can remove a speck out of someone’s eye, first I have to get the log out of my own eye. Many believe it’s a compromise to listen to the views of others……….

But that is not so. I dare say, Jesus actually listened to some input from others. One was the day he said to a woman wanting healing “It’s not good to give the children’s bread to dogs” (Gentiles were compared to dogs you see) and SHE said “even the dogs get the crumbs from the master’s table! “How great is your faith” He said, and healed her!

You know I can’t think of a case, where someone in the bible marched up to Jesus and said “how dare you preach that” Or correcting him in front of others. Unless of course it was the Pharisees, who used scripture to tell him how “wrong he was” to heal on the Sabbath, or tried to trick him, bait him, or goad him into giving up. He finally told them off, in no uncertain terms……”BROOD OF VIPERS” He said. Why? I think it’s because he needed to drive off the crows, who were trying to steal the precious seeds of truth and wisdom he was planting. We have some truth seekers, truth lovers, and wise Spirit filled people in this world, but friends? What do we do about the crows? Especially crows who think they have the right to run up and snatch the seed before it’s even sown? 

HMMM ……..are you helping the cause of Christ? Or coming against it? Something to think about. And is it love to let the crows gobble up the seed? “Father help me to listen more, learn more, and be quiet before you. “teach me to listen” Open the eyes of my heart I pray. Heal me of all insecurities that make me act up. Help me grow! Father please help me be a lover of truth! I ask you sincerely, in any areas where I think I know the truth if I am wrong? Please uproot those lies, Grant me thy truth I pray! Grant me wisdom! In Jesus’ holy awesome and mighty name. Amen 

 

Laura Grace, Author, minister, and your friend Laura Grace

 

 

 

 

 

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AN OPEN LETTER TO CHRISTIANS, Just because you are in Christ, doesn’t mean you’re always right!

GRACE TO GROW COVER NOW.jpg

Speaking of chicken soup………(a letter to christians)
 
I feel bad I didn’t used to know this but, I needed to realize a long time ago when someone is sick (in the natural) You know how they can’t eat? Just need a little chicken broth?
 
Some are like that about Jesus- we need to be aware they can only handle so much at a time. I didn’t used to know this and I didn’t mean to but I have overwhelmed some people at times….
 
I thought I was being zealous for Jesus, and not compromising. but the truth is, I wasn’t REALLY walking in Love.
 
How I learned is by HAVING IT DONE TO ME, and instead of being all ticked off I prayed on it, asked the Lord about it, and asked him to reveal to me through his eyes, what is going on.
 
Sooner or later it’s time to say “what am I doing wrong Lord?” In the process of learning who we are in Christ (and learning to stand in his Righteousness) we must not forget we always need to be corrected. Correction is what makes us grow.
 
Without correction we do not grow! WE should know this, we’ve all seen kids who never had discipline, and how they turned out.
 
Some try to ram the whole banana of the gospel down someone’s throat and if they get sick and throw up beat them over the head for not receiving! Talk about not having a clue!
 
This is not evangalism, it’s abuse! And it’s what the so called liberals are reacting to, in many cases.
 
I do not suggest bowing to these types that want to over run the church but we cannot afford to be all uppity and assume we are always being persecuted. Sometimes…….WE”VE BEEN WRONG and we need to admit it, quit it, and start growing again. Amen
 
Let’s get a clue shall we? Maturity knows when to stop, because your mashed potatoes and gravy is making them feel sick. #getmature #growsomemore #getagriponJesus
 
Anyway this is not compromise,
 
IT”S WISDOM!! Let’s get some! AmenLaura Grace
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I don’t believe in weak prayers……

throneI don’t believe in weak prayers……….

What I believe (and will always believe) is that the Holy Spirit SHOWS US how to pray. This, like everything else, has to be activated, and applied, in order for it to work.

When I am hit with a big problem I pray like this “Father, You said in your word, the Holy Spirit teaches us how to pray” and I ask God what he would like me to pray! This is based on the passage “If we ask according to his Will, he gives us what we ask.”

Many people take “the easy way” out on this and just pray for God’s will all the time. There are others who wear themselves out, beating on the doors of heaven for what they would like to see happen. Neither of these extremes is good.

The Holy Spirit will never give you a weak, apathetic, lifeless prayer.

HE will direct you pray things GOD IS going to answer! Then you can stand firmly in Faith and not waver (like Father Abraham) because you are believing for something the Lord promised to YOU Personally Via the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is your teacher, coach and counsellor, given to you by the Grace (undeserved favor) of God!

If you want to see more answered prayer….ask the Holy Spirit to show you how to pray!

I love you. I am called and chosen to write this. I write it to help and encourage you.

be blessed! Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. (and after the wordless groans, He shows us how to pray, giving US the interpretation!).

Laura Grace, Author, Grace to Soar

 

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a quiet accomplisher, behind the scenes….By Laura Grace

ME In 2011 boys and girls clubHi! I’m Laura! Good Morning to you! You know, I come from a long line of “accomplishers” behind the scenes. One of My Grandma’s made thousands of cookies, thousands of meals, and made people laugh thousands of times, with her contagious laughter. She, along with my other grandma, did not have face book to share pics of their grandkids, meals, or Joyful times.

I remember scraping up change, to afford the developing of film, and sending my best pics to my grandma’s (and Mom) desperately trying to share (the moments of our lives) so I truly do appreciate social media, it keeps us in the loop!

I was thinking today, about the thousands of times my mom made meals for us, and even after I grew up, how I couldn’t wait to go have some of her home cooking. OH the excitement of sitting down, being handed a plateful of love, and then the BIG question, would you like cake? “I made oatmeal cookies, want one?”

Oh, the every day love, of remarkable women, who do every day tasks, just because someone loves for them to do it!

I’ve got my own list of accomplishments, Great spaghetti maker, Lasagna, and other certain things I consider to be “my specialty.” I know over 120 songs on guitar, self taught, plus the songs I’ve written! I spent 20 years writing in Journals, trying to keep a record of life, what God was saying to my heart, how I felt about it, all kinds of things…….

And now, this year, marks my 4th year of authoring books, a new area, I ventured into, as the Spirit of God urges me on……..

Hey, I know there are many who appreciate me, they tell me so, every day! I’m not famous and I’m GLAD! Today, on memorial day, I am remembering the people who matter to me right now, (who are still alive!) along with those who have gone before me. I am remembering every day people, who simply cherish life, their loved ones, and do those thousands of tasks, every day, without fail, getting no recognition for it, and the simple reward of knowing “THEY LOVED” Enough to do it!

God sees you doing that ………..you know? He really does! And he writes it all down!

Happy Memorial day! with love, Laura Grace