Who I DON”T want to be (and how I found out). by Laura Grace
I’m going to write this before I change my mind! I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to share about relationships a number of times….and I knew it would mean confessing mistakes I have made……….
So Years ago my husband tells me “his ex” used to buy a lot of food and not use it. I heard that, made a note of it, and make every attempt Not to be that way. Years go by, one day he notices I threw something out without using it and makes a comment “Did that go bad already, we didn’t even use it?” ….
Instantly (because I’m tired and had a hard day) I assume he is saying I’m like his ex. “That fast!” Hair trigger moment. “I’ve been busy!!” I snap- (and start listing what I had to do all day BECAUSE I assume he needs to know (because he doesn’t keep track of all my jobs, only what food is being tossed out!) “Okay Okay” He said it was just an observation I wasn’t attacking you!” (and looks all disgusted like I am a hila monster on fire!) I react to THAT next it goes into my mind “Gee wiz can’t I have a bad day?”
Now I’m bent! (and don’t even know why!) And see, all this happened so fast it’s like- “100 miles an hour” and the next thing you know, two people that were supposed to be relaxing in the harbor of their home are thinking “good grief, what’s wrong with YOU?” “NO, what’s wrong with you?” …….
Now, it’s been worse (in times past). I thought he should water flowers at this one place we lived (as I was tired, had done it all the time, and they needed watering. He decided to make “gardeners’ last stand” and say he didn’t want flowers in the first place! I was all indignant, he got a list of all the stuff I didn’t want to do that I did…….and that’s why he should do it when I ask with no back talk! (Yeah I know, WOW) …but the thing is….
You can be a praying person, full of the spirit. LOVE GOD and love others- and STILL wind up like this! One is from being too tired, or not taking the time to just count to 10, think about what you are going to say next…….in this case, he has the right to say “I am not into flowers” and I have the right to say “I am not” Into whatever it is he wants me to do (change the oil maybe?) 😄
But the other thing we have to watch out for is this: “assumptions’ like how I assumed he was comparing me to his ex? (Lickety split, it just happened) If we say well “sorry” and don’t pray on our ways….. we keep messing up (over and over again) Destroying the relationship we so cherished. If we say “Okay God, I need help with this JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS Problem” then …….
The bible says “confess your faults’ and pray (for one another) AND you’ll be healed! It doesn’t say “point out their faults and assume it’s all them because hey YOU are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus!”
(and you can never be wrong? oh oh! )………
I know this is a long post. Maybe YOU are never like this but, we all have our flaws.🙂 (weak areas?) …..and it’s the little things sometimes. I hope my confession (one of many days I was OFF In my thinking for one reason or another) Will help you Remember to ASK “What did you mean by that?” When dealing with someone stop! ASK “What are you saying, can you clarify?” ….
Pretend you HAVE To be professional! It’s too easy to take someone we love for granted, & think things like “You should know me by now” (another assumption)
Helps you see yes ….we are all human! But let’s try to do better! And here’s the thing DO things in such a way you actually like yourself! There’s a story Jesus told, the master took a long time returning and this person began to “beat the servants” 😯and how much trouble he got in when the master came home! Let’s not be doing things wrong just because we think nobody sees us….
God sees everything! He is your Father! and he’s watching you! every day! Well I hope this helped someone ..
WIth Love And a prayer: “Father anyone out there who is just struggling with feeling things are unfair, hopeless, impossible! I Pray that You would help that person start with themselves! And learn to learn of you Father! NO matter what! In Jesus’ name help us all remember two wrongs do not make things right. Help us not to give up on our own integrity just becuase we’re having a bad day. Helpl us Father to love ourselves enough to get some rest or take a time out …….In Jesus’ name we pray. amen
Matthew 5: 41 “And whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two. ”
Right after Jesus sat on the mount (speaking to the multitudes) He continued to speak about other topics. One was this passage- (above) which came to mind this morning as I was pondering and waking up.
You see, I have dreams in my heart, which I believe God placed there. Dreams of travelling, speaking, sharing all the treasures he has bestowed within me. Dreams of sharing with others (who are hurting) all the beautiful testimonies God has given me of redemption, healing, restoration, and reasons for praise!
I have boldly declared “I will go” (travel and speak) but I seem to be ahead of my time in most everything I do. In Other words, Sometimes a vision is so real to me, I think it’s going ot happen tomorrow! I just want you to know everything I”ve ever said is going ot happen HAS happened. But not in the year or day I thought it would happen.
I was asked to help with music in my local church about three years ago, starting with the children in an after school program. That led to more singing (in the church) and later on, a semester of teaching music at the local school (grades K to 12) and this was without a teaching certificate by the way. AMAZING!
I can’t tell you how much it blesses my heart that even recently, I sang at church (a song God put on my heart to sing with guitar) and a local person chased me down the other day saying: “I forgot to tell you, that song was so great, please do that more often!!”. It’s 2017 now. Twenty years ago I was crying and asking God WHY He would not use me in church to sing. I had learned almost every song on guitar that church did at the time. EVERY SONG …It took hours to learn them all….hours and hours and hours of time……
I prayed “Thank you Father that if I am faithful you will TRUST ME to sing and minister to your people” …..(as I learned all these songs, and practiced them over and over) And I have to tell you….I had given up on the whole thing, a few years ago.
Oh sure- I sang at this one place but for the most part I’d “thrown in the towel” Given up…..said Okay Father what’s next I surrender! Obviously I”m NOT called to sing or do music in my local church!
Now I’m in school (full time) Pursuing a degree at a christian college, I’ve written books, I’ve made brochures…..I’ve gone on some speaking engagements…..and I’ve done a mission trip this past summer in my local region. The pastor of the church I attend now is telling me “this other church” wants you to come and sing………”
I wanted to keep writing books…bag the singing…..Give up on it now…
BEING REAL HERE! See it hurts to be disappointed, and if we don’t allow God to keep working in our hearts….we may just slam the door on him!
Well? Do I go the second mile? Or do I just say “I have other plans now, Lord!”. I asked him to open doors! I asked him to use me! (for his Glory)….who am I to decide what I should or should not do? Who am I to say “this life is MINE I will do what I WISH to do?” …….hmm …..and when I asked him “Should I be singing or should I be writing books?” He gave me that passage (Matthew 5:41) “Someone is asking you girl!! What’s the problem?” ……Incidentally I CAN Do both if I trim some corners.
So “Father I trust your timing! I don’t understand it, always, but I trust in you! I know whatever visions you have given me that you’ve put in my heart….will come to pass. Eventually ….they will! and please Forgive me for giving up all those years ago…….because I thought you were not quick enough to answer my prayers.” and Father thank you that when something in your word Is true FOR US you will cause it to leap off the page at us! Just like this one you gave me today! It’s for me Father! and I praise you for this! IN Jesus’ name. amen ……..Laura Grace, Author, Grace to Grow the Study guide (a self contained book With studies) Available on Amazon.
This picture is me Christmas Concert 2016 directing the music program (Without a teaching certificate) but God was with me……..Laura Grace
My (deep) thoughts for today……”All lives matter”….We can pray for the families that lost loved ones in this shooting…..those who died in recent storms, hurricanes…..more that died locally in traffic accidents because someone crossed the center line….snuffing out their life in a moments’ time because of carelessness, recklessness……..
That’s all we can do is pray for comfort as we cannot bring them back. Every day I hear of those who have hidden problems ….problems nobody understands. Wierd things, things they are too ashamed to even speak of……and I understand that because I’ve had some of those (unspeakable) problems that virtually nobody but God would understand…..
Here’s one I heard of this among many “a minister” who was into sadism, made his wife do unspeakable things and tortured her…who was she supposed to tell? How could she get help without someone gasping in horror? (and adding to the problem with their own fears and horror about it? LIsten all we can do is pray and be ready to reach out to OUR corner of the world….
Each of us is ONE person…….we can only do so many things in a given day….but we can make the world a better place. ONE good decision at a time..do what you can for those around you……
WE have to and need to develop the Kingdom of God within us Giving people Jesus and a true knowledge of Him and not some religious view point is the best gift we can give anyone ….a TRUE Knowledge from his heart to your heart to their heart………….the real thing…………
In HIM is all things LIfe, Peace, Answers….HOPE ……Get Jesus in you so deep you have something to give. Establish yourself on the ROCK WIth HIM then you can pull others out of the torrid waters and pray for them in Faith. This is how we can be “the best we can be” for Jesus…….get established ..ON the Rock! Amen
Then ask him to send you where you can go…..and ask him to send you those you are equipped to help. Amen -Laura grace, author Grace to the rescue and Grace to Grow
It happens. If I were to tell you every story I have personally seen or heard where people fake being a christian, take advantage of the church (time and time again) with no remorse or repentance (or willingness to change) You’d be appalled.
I have been faced with a plethora of reactions when I say “Hey “There are con Artists” Watch out! Some say well You have to love ALL the time turn the other cheek……
“Well that’s not our business,” They say, “We just have to love, and be kind like Jesus said or did.” Really? He let the people sitting at his feet listening to him go hungry for three days (was it a fast?) He told a woman asking for healing for her daughter the children’s bread was not for dogs! There is no record of Jesus gathering his disciples together and saying “Come on boys, we’re going to hand out free meals today to everyone in the leper colony!”
I had a woman tell me (recently) that she tried to help someone (got burned) and after she’d helped this person ranted at her (she didn’t help enough apparently) and I have also experienced this myself.
When I was a property manager, I remember a couple who got the church to pay their deposit and rent, and moved in. They didn’t have a very good back ground check but hey, the church was helping, so we overlooked it in the interest of good will and charity. After all isn’t that what we are supposed to do? Love our neighbors? Jesus indicated brethren first and be wise (as serpents) but somehow that goes unheard by many as our examples of great humanitarians loom before us as “the great example” of how we should be.
This couple moved in, wrecked the place, made a mess that would make your hair curl, soiled carpet, ruined floors, stains, grease debris that cost the owner literally thousands to repair. They moved out owing two months rent, as it was never paid, and their promise to pay was not kept.
I’ve met people who say “Just go to the church for help,” there is a network of people who do this, and go from town to town, place to place, leaving damage, debris and sorrow in their wake. The people who get burned often feel God let them down somehow, or they just decide never to help anyone again and develop a ‘no trust” standard.
This is so sad (to me). Do we really need these extremes? Help everyone or help no one?
I know it’s hard to decide if someone is “worthy of help.” After all we do have the example of Jesus saying “Judge not” and there is this nugget:
“To him who strikes you on the one cheek, offer the other also. And from him who takes away your cloak, do not withhold your tunic either. ” Luke 6:29
But see you have to LOOK hard at the whole picture here. Verse And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise. Verse 31 of this same passage says:
“And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.”
Do you want God to just let you be a con artist? Hurting everyone as you go? Leaving a trail of destruction in your wake? Certainly the disciples were not like this. I want God’s correction don’t you? SO see the whole counsel of God is not to just let someone rape you financially and take all your goods over and over again. And sit and cry and say “God did this to me.” I was Just obeying his word!
I don’t have time to tell you all the passages about being wise (in proverbs) It saddens me that people who don’t study the bible allow leaders (who are setting some bad examples by the way) direct their paths, (instead of learning from the Holy spirit for themselves).
I too followed their examples at one time. I gave and gave and thought “Well God would reward me” and grieved the heart of God in the process. He wept for me. Every time he tried to bless me, I thought I had to give it all away. I allowed con artists to (literally) steal from me, thinking it was God’s will. If you are a person LIKE the disciples Jesus was talking to YOU WANT Corrected. Right? (if you are being a con artist?)
Don’t be afraid to call a spade a spade Or get discernment! You won’t be less in the Kingdom of God you’ll be MORE. More able to help those God wants to help…..
Less foolish and less fooled..Not deceived! Til next time; -Laura Grace
Ever had one of those days? Someone you are trying to help (or encourage) just never seems to get enough? Reminds you of kids (at times). I compared it to geese (so long ago) as I was feeding some geese, and as I ran out of bread, (which I now understand you should not feed them bread) but in any case they surrounded me, got closer and closer, and one even tried to bite my face!
The bible compares a fool and his folly, to being met by a bear robbed of her cubs.
I hear a lot about being respectful nowdays. “Respect me” or “That’s disrespetful.” The truth is if someone sets a boundary, we should respect that boundary or (the Authority) of the one who set the boundary. No Trespassing signs, No solicitors, Keep off the grass! If we violate those boundaries it’s a trespass.
But really, what is being respectful or respectable in the eyes of Jesus? Or the World? are they the same?
I really struggle with the word “respectful,” sometimes. I have prayed about it over the years, asking God what he thinks about it all. As usual he doesn’t answer, sometimes for years. I think it’s because he waits for His word to grow and develop in our heart(s). Sooner or later the fruit will come out, including the fruit of understanding his Word.
And yes, Understanding is a “fruit’ or outcome- of studying, praying and seeking him. 🙂 It’s the fruit of HIS own Love building us up (in HIm.)
I see this: What the World (humans in general) have respect for:
- A person well-educated on a topic 2. Success financially 3. Ruling without apology and successful management of people or business 4. Overcoming incredible odds by sheer determination 5. Selfless Humanitarianism and tireless giving
This is what I see God Respects:
- Receiving Revelation from Him (Understanding) about his Word by his Spirit. 2. Faithful with goods or money and not clinging to it, surrendered to Him 3. Serving without selfish Ambition as directed by His Spirit 4. Overcoming by his strength and in obedience toward Him 5. Ministry as God says to do it (no matter how foolish it looks) And looking after his own sheep (feeding them, finding them, helping them) and doing what he says! (When he says, how he says) Gen 4 The story of Abel.
Pretty different, aren’t they? Do I care what the world thinks (about me?) Or what God thinks? Which one will I face for all eternity? Hmm
Gen 4:4 “And the Lord Respected Abel”. (We know what happened to him, right?)
To respect a boundary -is to not trepass. For instance, if you put out a sign “Keep off the Grass” Or tell someone “Please don’t belch in my house” and they do it anyway, it’s disrespectful (not honoring their wishes, in their own house). I have no problem with this, but I do have a problem with respect when it comes to a one-way relationship.
As far as belief systems go, if I have to respect your beliefs, you need to respect mine. This means we may not “trespass on each other” If I say stop (regarding your input) or you say stop (concering my input) we both should have to stop (out of Love IE: Respect) For each other’s personal boundaries.
Here’s the thing: God’s Word, and the world’s opinion, will never mix. One is hot, one is cold. One is sharp, one is dull. You can’t be conformed to this world and transformed by God at the same time. We can’t love (be On fire or Hot) for God While embracing all the thoughts of this world (which is cold toward God,) and not become lukewarm. Hot and cold mixed makes “tepid” (Lukewarm) waters. Hot water flushes out bacteria, germs and unhealthy things. HOT For God’s word (on fire) cleanses us in Holy Fire.
So if I don’t seem respectful of the world’s advice, I will not apologize for that. My food is to do the will of my Father (in Heaven). My mandate is to Follow him. My mind is to be renewed on his Word, not every thing you want to tell me, that you think is cool or the latest rage, or the latest fashion. Call me disrespectful about the opinions of others if you wish, For really, I could say the same about you. Are you respectful of God’s Word?
He made this world! He Framed it! His input is Bread (and life) to my soul.
If you are looking for the world to applaud you for your belief system, you will probably be very disappointed. They aren’t going to applaud you. Respect for God, his ways, and his people is not something the world is ever going to do. If you give them
Respect,other than just saying Okay “I will” Keep off your grass” I WILL stop talking to you about God- because you said “it’s trespassing” has nothing to do with me having to listen to YOU and your opinions all day long! That is not respect, that’s cowing down to someone who does NOT have the answers (Christian) and you know better! So don’t listen to them. Stick with God. Blessed is the man who Trusts in Him (and inclines their ear to hear what God has to say!) Proverbs 2. What Good is it to gain the world? (Jesus said) and lose your soul? Hmm Something to Ponder.
-Laura Grace Author, Grace to Grow
John 15:8 Romans 12:2 1 John 2:15-17 Matthew 16:26